| | | PAGE |
| | Author's Preface | [1] |
| I. | War Hell and Bull Fights | [7] |
| II. | "Missouri" and His False Teeth | [17] |
| III. | Wong Lee—The Human Bellows | [28] |
| IV. | Hawaii—and the Fisherman Who'd Sign the
Pledge | [33] |
| V. | The Umpire Who Got a Job | [44] |
| VI. | The Japs' Five-Story Skyscraper and a Basement | [53] |
| VII. | Japanese Girls in American Clothes—They Mar
the Landscape | [59] |
| VIII. | Ceremonious Grandmother—"Missouri" a
"Heavenly Twin" | [64] |
| IX. | Ushi the Rikisha Man | [79] |
| X. | Missionaries, Tracts, and a Job Worth While | [91] |
| XI. | Yamamoto and High Cost of Living | [99] |
| XII. | The Soldier Said Something in Chinese | [103] |
| XIII. | Ten Thousand Tons on a Wheelbarrow and the
Ananias Club | [114] |
| XIV. | "Missouri" Meets a Missionary | [120] |
| XV. | A Sto-o-rm at Sea | [133] |
| XVI. | The Islands "Discovered" by Dewey | [138] |
| XVII. | White Filipinos, Aguinaldo, and the Busy Moth | [147] |
| XVIII. | Singapore—The Humorist's Close Call | [156] |
| XIX. | The Hindu Guide a Saint Would Be | [168] |
| XX. | Penang—A Bird, the Female of Its Species, and
the Mangosteen | [172] |
| XXI. | Burma and Buddha | [176] |
| XXII. | Baptists and Buddhism | [181] |
| XXIII. | The Rangoon Business Man Who Drove His
Sermon Home | [185] |
| XXIV. | The Glass of Ice-Water That Jarred Rangoon | [188] |
| XXV. | The Calcutta Sacred Bull and His Twisted Tail | [194] |
| XXVI. | The Guide Who Wouldn't Sit in "Master's"
Presence | [201] |
| XXVII. | Royalty vs. "Two Clucks and a Grunt" | [206] |
| XXVIII. | One Wink, Sixteen Cents, and Royalty | [210] |
| XXIX. | The Englishman and Mark Twain's Joke, "That's
How They Wash in India" | [215] |
| XXX. | English as "She Is Spoke" in India | [223] |
| XXXI. | Five Days' Sail and a Measly Poem | [225] |
| XXXII. | Beating the Game With One Shirt | [240] |
| XXXIII. | Through Hell Gate Steerage | [257] |