COSTUMES MODERN AND APPROPRIATE.
Scene.—Handsome apartment in the house of Mr. Graylock. Table, C., red cloth. A study-lamp burning. Books and papers. Lounge, R. Arm-chair, L. Chairs R. and L. of table. Patty Pert seated in arm-chair with a book.
Patty (reading). "At the sound of that voice musically voluminous as the sighing of the October gale in the lofty branches of mountain hemlocks, Araminta Augusta Violetta sprang to her feet, and, dashing the embroidery-frame to the floor with a crash that shook the ancient edifice, gave one terrific, yet ecstatic scream of joy, and sank fainting into the arms of her own fond Felix Frederick Freelove." Oh! isn't that splendid? Oh! why wasn't I born in those barbaric days, when knights and squires, and milk-white steeds, and high-born ladies, pranced about, like the grand entry of a magnificent circus? Oh! why wasn't I a barbarian? And such love-making! (Reads.) "Beauteous damsel, with eyes of azure blue, hear, oh, hear the vow of your own true knight! I will cleave yonder mountain from summit to base with one blow of my trusty cimeter, ere one tear of grief shall find its way adown thy gently-arching nose:" oh, beautiful, beautiful! There are no barons now. Who ever hears such language as that in these plebeian times? Even old Mr. Graylock, fond as he is of his young wife, never allows his ecstasy to rise above the utterance of "My dear, you're looking well, remarkably well." And Mrs. Graylock has nothing more romantic on the end of her tongue than, "Hubby, don't be gone long. I do get so sleepy when you're away!" Oh, the world's degenerating! there's not the least doubt of it. There's John Bounce, who tries to make love to me; and precious bad business he makes of it too, forever dropping his h's, and sticking them where they don't belong. I'm determined to reform him, or he shall bounce about the world without a wife, though, as he says, his 'art his given to me halone. (Enter Bounce R.) Bounce. 'Illo, Patty! hall by yourself, 'ay? Where's the master and missus? Patty. Still at table, Mr. Bounce, daintily toying with the dessert of their luxurious repast.
[Exit R.
[Exit, R., followed by Alice.
[Exit R.
[Exit R.
[Exit R.
[Exit Patty R.
John Bounce and Patty, R. Mr. and Mrs. G., C.
Ralph and Alice, L. Curtain.
THE CHAMPION OF HER SEX.