APPROPRIATING A WORLD.
All being in readiness, a number of very perfect maps were thrown on the canvas, showing the plains, valleys, mountains, lakes, and rivers of Zelania, with the nature of the production of each island; and a careful and detailed description as to location and resources was given by the orator.
Then, calling the attention of his audience, Oseba notified the people that he was now reaching the closing chapter of his report, or in our refined phrase he was on “the home stretch.” He said:—
“Now, my children, at this stage of our inquiry, I desire to remind you again how closely man is allied to Nature; how he is adjusted to all the environing conditions; how the fresh breezes of a temperate zone give him a fair skin; how a varied and pleasing aspect gives him a cheerful temperament; how the mountains suggest to him freedom, and the seas adventure; how climate depresses or exhilarates; how pastoral pursuits awaken the romantic in his nature; agriculture, patience and sturdy industry; and the search for precious metals, a careless independence and intelligence.
“Then, for this last, let the Titans wrest from Nature all that conspired to make the Phœnician, the Greek, the Norse, and the Briton, and mould them artistically into the most pleasing form, and lo! Zelania would appear in her pristine glory to—fashion a man.”
Here he briefly described the workings of the government of Zelania, how it had adopted the parliamentary system of Britain, and that, while it acknowledged a proud allegiance to the British crown, it was probably the most unmitigated democracy the world had ever beheld.
“As a member of a compact,” Oseba said, “Zelania owes but a loose allegiance to the Motherland, for she is at liberty to part the cable at any time and float away with the parental blessings. But, as a fact, she is held by a sentiment stronger than bands of steel; and by the voluntary sacrifice of many of her noblest sons on distant fields, she has proven, not only her loyalty to the Crown, but her love for the Empire and her devotion to British aspiration. Theirs is not merely the loyalty of the subject—’tis the tender regard of children for the generous kindred of homeland.
“Now, my children,” continued the orator, “I am going to show you another series of views, some the works of man, and some the works of Nature, that have influenced my actions. Glance through the album I have given you, and you will see the style of men, who, on the lines so strongly suggested by the inviting environment, have fashioned the social creeds of the country.
“It is a grand thing to behold men strong enough and brave enough to lead the people up, not to where they may ‘see the promised land,’ but to secure for them and their children a nobler heritage than Joshua ever saw or Moses ever dreamed of.”
The orator claimed that though the mightiest imagination could not reach a comprehension of these enchanting scenes, he felt that the views presented would justify his claim that of all lands Zelania was the most wonderful on the globe.
And now he proceeded to call attention to the human side—how the denizens of this most favored country were using their peerless opportunities, and this was even more wonderful, for Nature followed rules and precedents, while these people broke them.
“A man may famish,” said Oseba, “surrounded by the most dazzling splendor; he may starve, amid the most wild, weird and stupendous beauty; but when erratic Nature has strewn in the same garden that which most elevates the soul and administers most to the nourishment of the body, man should tender the tribute of his admiration and gratitude, and—‘go to work.’”
In Zelania, as I interpret the orator’s meaning, the gods have conspired to do all this, and to make the lot of man a happy one. But in a life so frail and so full of wants, the practical side deserves consideration, for while the Deity may furnish the paddock, he will not throw blood oranges on fern trees, or grow “A No. 1” cauliflower on ground not subdued by the spade or the plough.
After having made so fine an exhibition of the choice spots of Zelania, Oseba commented upon the peculiar notions of the Outeroos regarding their visits to other lands. He said by the Outeroos’ measure, he himself had been the world’s greatest “discoverer,” for he had found and charted the whole outer surface. He had “discovered” China, Japan, Russia, and other countries; he had discovered Africa, America, Australia, and finally the “Paradise of Oliffa”—Zelania.
Many people on Oliffa did not care to be “discovered”—in fact, would rather not have been, and, among these, were not improbably, those fading Maoris of Zelania. The “discoverer” had been the bane of many a people—remember the color-line!
Oseba told his people that “Zelania was once discovered by Tasman in 1642, and that it was not discovered again for more than a hundred years, when Cook found it in 1769. Later, to the temporary joy and final regret of the Maoris, the French also ‘discovered’ the country, and soon some gentlemen from Sydney called, and in 1814 the ‘parsons’ found it, since which time the collections have been regular. I,” said he, “am Zelania’s last ‘discoverer,’ and my report shall be a modest one.
“In 1840 the Union Jack was permanently nailed up in queenly Auckland, Zelania being made a province of New South Wales, and the next year the country was erected into a colony, with a good billet for the favorite of a British Premier.
“In 1865 the capital was removed to Wellington, a very breezy city, with fine ‘sloping’ hills at no great distance from the water-front.
“As in other British colonies, government here meant liberty, and, as in all habitable countries liberty means progress, Zelania has had a full measure of prosperity, practically from the beginning.
“If,” proceeded Oseba, “the Outeroos ever evolve a generation of thinking men, the mystery of mysteries to them will be how a people as educated and business-like as the generation, who discovered and developed steam and electricity, and the modern commercial systems could be stupid enough to give away or sell to a few of the people the land upon—and from—which all the people must necessarily live. Further, it will be interesting to inquire by what course of reasoning the temporary custodians of the public domain arrived at a conclusion that they could rightfully alienate it, ignoring the will and the right of all who might come by the next train.
“As broad, as almost limitless, as is the meaning of supreme authority among the Outeroos, by no compromise with expediency, by no stretch of the imagination, can any human power consign the future generation to a madhouse, or to homelessness, or to a condition of serfdom under the heirs of the more fortunate few; but to grant the lands to a small number of persons is to pawn the cage in which the animals are eternally locked.
“Unfortunately, before the ‘rulers’ of Zelania had been broadened by the pure air of this wonderland, they had parcelled out much of the better lands to a comparatively few persons. But the grapes fed by the early rulers to the parents of the colonials, set the teeth of the children on edge.
“The area of Zelania is 104,000 square miles, as against 124,000 for the United Kingdom; and the population is 800,000, as against 40,000,000 for the United Kingdom.
“But, behold the growing wisdom of the generations! In the United Kingdom, by inheritance, by the crimes of authority, a few hundred families, or less than one out of every 2,000 of the population, ‘own’ nearly one-half of the whole country; while in this new world, the smaller follies of earlier rulers are already being corrected, and the lands are being rescued from baronial control and held for ‘the people,’ regardless of the time of the arrival of their train.
“As the Outeroos are mostly land animals, my children, and as we have learned how important the land is to human happiness, I will give you briefly this phase of the social situation of Zelania as being developed by its present leaders.”
Then he reminded his audience that Zelania embraced 104,000 square miles or about 66,000,000 acres of land.
Mr. Oseba claimed that the British Isles, with 79,000,000 acres, with a considerable area of waste, support nearly 40,000,000 people; Italy with about 70,000,000 acres, with much waste, supports 30,000,000 people; Prussia, with about 90,000,000 acres, large areas of waste, supports 31,000,000 people; France, with about 125,000,000 acres, with extensive mountain regions, supports nearly 40,000,000 people; and that Belgium and Holland, with about 18,000,000 acres, and much waste, support over 10,000,000 people.
He argued that if the estimates were approximately correct, this most favored of all lands on the surface of Oliffa would support, on a like plane of living of the Italians, 22,000,000 of people; on a like plane of the French, 12,000,000 people; and on a like plane of the British Isles, at least 10,000,000 of people.
But he explained that with a like population of these countries a like plane of living would be inevitable; so, for the happiness of Zelania, he thought, it was fortunate that many splendid obstacles stood in the way of a rapid increase in population. The cry for population was the most delusive mockery that ever lured a people to the verge of misery.
Here I quote the intrepid discoverer:—
“B-i-g does not spell ‘great.’ China has what most of the new countries of Oliffa are screaming for—‘population.’ Yet China is not considered ‘great.’ India, even with British rule, as a people or a race is not ‘great.’ The true greatness of a nation consists in the greatness of the individual units composing the nation, and not in their numbers. America is great as a nation, but the real average ‘greatness’ of the individual American has been declining for many years. Better travel comfortably with a select party than rush to ruin in a crowded train.
“There is no relation between size and value. Even the most ambitious Outeroo would hardly claim Lambert, who weighed forty stone, to have been ‘greater’ than little Pope, who looked like an interrogation point and weighed but eight. So, as there is no virtue in avoirdupois, there is no ‘greatness’ in mere numbers. Better flirt with one healthy girl, than take a dozen sour old maids to the pantomime.”
Mr. Oseba might have mentioned, had he known the facts, that Phœnicia, that gave to the world the ship and the alphabet, and anticipated modern commercial methods, occupied but a small strip of country—mostly sterile—from eight to twenty-five miles wide, and less than a hundred and eighty miles long; that Attica, at the feet of whose philosophers we still sit, from whose artists we still copy, and to whose orators we still listen, embraced but seven hundred square miles; and that the population of Sparta, while in her glory, probably never exceeded ten thousand souls.
“No, my children,” said Oseba, “b-i-g, does not spell ‘great,’ and any Zelanian who is caught howling for ‘population’ should be compelled to ‘shout’ for the whole crowd until he goes ‘broke,’ and has to hunt a billet to enable him to buy a beer and a bun. The desirable cannot be bribed—others should not be wanted.”
THE MAORI MAID OF ROTORUA.
Did you ever see Maggie of Rotoru’?
You would never imagine what she can do
For the mouths of hell,
With a magic spell,
This little brown maid—
As I have said—
Will lead you over, and under and through.
This little brown damsel of Rotoru’
Will laugh at the fates, and smile at you.
Like a fairy dream,
Through the caldron’s steam,
In gleeful wit.
She’ll gaily flit—
Yet careful, stranger, how you pursue.
With this little brown maid of Rotoru’
You scramble and gaze and wonder, too.
You stand appalled,
Your soul’s enthralled,
For scenes so weird,
Have here appeared—
You wonder if h—— isn’t bursting through.
While much of this danger, my friends, is sham
God tempers the winds to the little shorn lamb.
But wild Nature raves
In dark hidden caves,
And ’tis romance, you know,
To Roto’ you go,
So leave some “memory” in Maggie’s palm.
Here, Leo Bergin, with a deep love for Zelania, “pimples out into poetry”—“on his own,” as follows:—