VII
One dreams of a life in which everyone would be the apostle of what he possesses and where all would be the disciples of each.
If you wish to be an apostle, begin by never mislaying any of your wealth.
I once had a friend who said to me almost every day: “This morning I had a beautiful thought; but I can’t find it again, I’ve forgotten it, I’ve lost it.”
You have a purse to contain your money; condescend to have a scrap of paper on which you can put your thoughts, where you can set them in order. It is a slight means to what will eventually be a great end. Be economical of your treasures so that you may be lavish of them at the opportune moment. Do not lose what you wish to give away.
You are like the seeker after gold, on your knees by the bank of a river that rolls with sand and with nuggets.
The rushing flood of your soul flows by, and you watch it with fear and delight. Every sort of thing is in it: mud, grass, gold, flowers, formless and nameless debris. Gather to one side what you deem worthy to be preserved, do not let it escape in the torrent.
This mass of thoughts that crowd and elbow one another, this storm that tumbles its way over you, this unending dream that you have when you are awake, when your soul abandons itself to its natural, spontaneous impulses, there, indeed, is matter to terrify you! So many things appear and are swallowed up again that scandalize or horrify you; so many contradictions bewilder you, so many jewels shine furtively forth, that you are by turns filled with consternation, stupefied, dazzled.
You must choose among all these things. You must draw out of the current what you recognize as of value to you, and let the rest sink.
I beg you, keep the reckoning of your own soul. Keep a little book in your pocket that is carefully brought up to date. And do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it.
You must not have too much fear of not being up to your task when you are approaching great problems and great works.
That is something worth meditating for him who sets himself to obtaining possession of the world, who wishes to invite his companions to do the same.
Though it may have all the appearance of naïveté, confidence is less to be feared than the terror of ridicule that paralyzes so many souls at the beginning of the most beautiful adventures.
The fear of enthusiasm does as much harm as obvious wickedness.
It is better to pass for a simpleton and become the laughing-stock of the disillusioned than to miss the opportunity to serve as the apostle of one’s beloved verities. It is better to squander one’s fortune than to run the risk of being the only one to profit from it. There will always be a farthing to fall into eager hands.
The main thing is to be, above everything else, a man of good will.
The true enemy, if there is any such, is the pharisee, the man of outward observance, he who adopts every religion as a matter of fashion, who speaks frequently and passionately of his soul in the same way in which he speaks of his necktie.