4
The High Seas
The kid who sits in the bucket of tar.... The buxom stewardess who comes in and inquires archly if one rang.... The humorous piano-tuner who tunes the grand piano in the music-room in the 15-16ths-tone scale.... The electric fan which, when a stray zephyr blows in through the porthole, makes a noise like a dentist’s drill.... The alien ship’s printer who, in the daily wireless paper, reports a baseball score of 165 to 3.... The free Christian Science literature in the reading-room.... The pens in the writing-room.... The elderly Grosshändler with the young wife.... The red-haired girl in the green sweater.... The retired bootlegger disguised as a stockbroker.... The stockbroker disguised as a United States Senator.... The boy who climbs into the lifeboat.... The chief steward wearing the No. 18³⁄₄ collar.... The mysterious pipes that run along the stateroom ceilings.... The discovery that one forgot to pack enough undershirts.... The night watchman who raps on the door at 3.30 A. M. to deliver a wireless message reading “Sorry missed you. Bon voyage”.... The bartender who adds a dash of witchhazel to cocktails.... The wilting flowers standing in ice-pitchers and spittoons in the hallways.... The fight in the steerage.... The old lady who gets stewed and sends for the doctor.... The news that the ship is in Long. 43°, 41′, 16″ W, Lat. 40°, 23′, 39″ N.... The report that the starboard propeller has lost a blade.