THE ART OF LOVE
And still there is more to be said! Is it not written that "Art is long!" And the Art of Love is the longest of all arts, and the most difficult of all for its complete mastery and attainment!
It is a matter of misfortune, and yet one of not infrequent occurrence, that the sex organs of husband and wife are not well matched; and that trouble, sometimes of a most serious nature, results. When this condition is found to exist, it should be treated sanely and wisely, and the chances are many to one that the difficulty can be overcome, to the full satisfaction of both parties concerned.
In such cases, the mis-matching usually arises from the fact that the penis of the husband is too long for the vagina of the wife. This is very apt to be the case where the wife is of the "dumpy" sort, with a small mouth and short fingers, while the husband is "gangling," large mouthed and long fingered. These are facts that ought to be taken into account before marriage, and which should figure in determining whether the parties are "suited" to each other. They would be regarded in this way, too, if they were generally known, as they most surely are not. Here is another place where ignorance and "innocence" get in their work, and make trouble in married life!
In such a case as this, the too-long penis, when fully inserted in the too-short vagina, and especially when, at the orgasm, the two organs are crowded together vigorously, as the impulse of both parties demands they should be at this part of the act, the end of the penis is driven against the rear walls of the vagina, often furiously, thus stretching and straining the vaginal passage longitudinally, pressing against the womb unnaturally, and not infrequently pushing it out of place and sometimes rupturing the uterine tract seriously, hence causing all sorts of unfortunate and greatly-to-be-regretted results.
Because of such danger, the first meeting of the husband and wife should be accomplished with the utmost care, especially in the second part of the act, the first putting together of the organs. This is the only way of determining, in each case, how the organs will "fit," and happy are the parties thereto if such fit is found to be perfect!
But if it should turn out that there is a mismatching, of the nature just described, the conditions can be adjusted if the right means are used.
(Before telling this, however, it should be stated that the relative size of the sex organs can never be fully judged of by the size of the body of a man or a woman. Many a small man has an abnormally large and long penis, and many a little woman has a large vulva and a long vagina; and the reverse of all this is true, in the case of many men and women. These items in the count are among the things that can never be known with certainty except by actual trial, and this is not possible, as things are now.)
And so, if "mis-matching" is found to exist, in any given case, it can be provided for, in most cases as follows:
Instead of taking the position for coitus which has already been described—the woman on her back and the man over and above her—let this be done: Let the man lie on his left side, or partly on his left side and partly on his back, facing the woman, his left leg drawn up so that the thigh makes an angle of 45 degrees with the body, and the knee bent at about the same angle. Now let her, lying on her right side, mount into his arms, in this way: Let her place her right hip in the angle made by her husband's left thigh and his body, so that his left leg supports her hips, by being under them; put her right leg between his legs, throw her left leg over his right leg, put her right arm around his neck, and her left arm should be placed across his body under his right arm. His left arm should be placed around her waist from below, and his right arm left free to move over her body, as he may choose. Now in this position, the man's hips make a sort of saddle into which the woman "vaults" easily, naturally, and with the greatest of comfort; while the man, with his whole body supported by the bed, as he lies, will be perfectly comfortable, and can maintain the position much longer, without tiring, than he could were he over and above the woman, supporting himself by his elbows and knees, and with the woman's arms around his waist, lifting her body thereby, and thus adding her weight to his, all to be sustained by him. A moment's consideration will disclose the fact that this position has many points in its favor, beyond that of the man-superior form. The woman, in this position, is not wholly superior, but she is partly on her right side and partly on her belly. Her whole weight rests on her husband's body, but her weight does not tire him, as the bed below him easily supports them both.
Now, in this position, the sex organs are brought closely together and their union is easily accomplished. But see! It is now the woman, and not the man who has full control of such meeting, and so can regulate it to her liking, or needs. Her hips are perfectly free to move towards, or from, those of the man; and so she can determine just how much or how little of his penis shall enter her vagina! And if his penis is too long for her, she can accommodate her action to such fact!
As for the man, his satisfaction will be fully equal to, if not greater than it would be were he in the other position. The ease afforded to his body, and the fact that he need have no fear of hurting the woman, these things will be a delight to him, that is of real value, and which will make for his delectation as much as for that of the woman in his arms. The in-and-out motion is as easily performed in this position as in the other; and at the climax, the organs can be crowded together passionately, and still without hurting the woman. For she, being free to move, can so curve her hips that the pelvic bone, the mons veneris, as it is technically called, will receive the most of the pressure, and at the same time the angle which is thus made by the relative positions of the vagina and the penis will keep the latter from penetrating the vagina too far, and so will protect its rear walls and the womb from all danger of harm. The orgasm is just as perfect in this position as in the other. It is just as natural as the other position, and has only to be tried to be proved worthy.
And now one other point. (Curious how these details protract themselves. But there is no help for it. We must continue, now that we have begun.)
A very frequent cause of married unsatisfaction is the fact of the difference of time that it takes for the husband and wife to come to the climax, the orgasm. As has already been noted, the highest delight in the act comes when this climax is simultaneous, comes at exactly the same instant to both parties. But to bring this about is not easy in all cases, and hence what follows:
As a rule, women are slower in reaching the orgasm than are men. This is not always so, but it is generally the case. Some wives are so passionate that they will "spend" several times to their husbands' once! The author knows of a case where the wife will regularly experience the orgasm four or five times to her husband's once. She is a lovely wife and a highly accomplished woman, in no sense "fleshy" or "worldly minded." The situation is that her sex organs are exceedingly sensitive while those of her husband are the reverse, they are "timed" differently, that is all. The case is rare, and as a rule, women are "timed" slower than men.
Again, after a man has passed the orgasm it is, in most cases, impossible for him to continue the act, right then and there, and bring the woman to the climax, if she has not yet arrived, from the fact that, with the expulsion of the semen, usually detumescence of the penis at once takes place, and the organ is incapable of exciting the woman when in this condition. And so, if the husband "goes off" first, there is no possibility of the wife's reaching the climax at that embrace. This leaves her unsatisfied, all her sex organs congested, and the whole situation is unsatisfactory, in the extreme. On the other hand, if the wife comes to the orgasm first, her vulva and vagina detumesce but little and that very slowly, so that it is perfectly possible for the husband to continue his action, and come to the climax, even if his partner has already "spent."
Under these conditions it is easy to see that, where the wife is "keyed" or "timed" much slower than her husband, as is quite often the case, coitus is very liable to be a very one-sided affair, one in which the husband gets all the satisfaction, and the wife little or NONE—a most unfortunate status for both parties, but especially for the wife. The writer once knew a case where a husband and wife lived together to celebrate their golden wedding, and the wife never once experienced an orgasm, though the husband cohabited with her several times a month, during the most of their married life. There was no good reason why this should have been so, only that the husband was "quick in action" and the wife somewhat slow, and they had never synchronated their time differences. The dear old lady died at ninety, never having known a joy that, since her bridal night, she had wished for. Both the husband and wife were most excellent people. They simply didn't know! One was ignorant and the other innocent, and there you are again!
Now the thing to do, under such circumstances, is for the parties to "get together." And the way to do this is, first, to prolong the FIRST part of the act, till the wife has not only caught up with, but is even ahead of her husband in the state of her passion. To bring about this condition, the husband should use every means to stimulate his wife's sex-nature and increase her desire for coition. Here are some things he can do, which will tend to produce such results:
A woman's breasts are directly connected with all her reproductive nerves. This is especially true of her nipples. To touch them is to directly excite all of her sex organs. The lips and tongue are also thus nervously connected with these vital parts, and, so, if the husband will "play" with his wife's breasts, especially with her nipples, manipulating them with his fingers, or, better still, with his lips and tongue —at the same time, if he will stroke her vulva with his fingers, especially the clitoris, and if she will encourage him to do this, by holding her breast with one hand, shaking it about as her nipple is in her lover's lips; if, lying flat on her back, her husband at her right side, and with his left arm around her waist, she will spread her legs wide apart, thus opening the vulva to its utmost, and sway her hips, raising and lowering them betimes; and, since she has a free hand, if, with this, she will take her husband's penis with it and "play" with it as her lover plays with her vulva—if they will do this, the cases are rare in which passion will not grow in the wife to almost any desirable extent. Under such "courting," the parts will all enlarge, the pre-coital secretion will flow in abundance; and, in due course, all will be ready for the second part of the act. This part of coitus is, really, one of the most enjoyable of the entire performance.
If, perchance, the pre-coital secretion should be tardy in appearing on the part of the wife, so that the vulva is dry as the husband strokes it, let him moisten the part with saliva from his mouth. To do this, let him moisten his fingers from his mouth, and transfer this to the vulva, and then proceed with his stroking. This moistening the vulva with saliva may be repeated several times, if necessary, always until the flow of pre-coital fluid from the parts themselves renders any further moistening needless. The stroking of the dry vulva will do little toward the arousing of passion, or producing the pre-coital flow. But if the parts be moistened, as above directed, both these desired results will follow, except in very rare cases.
And let no one make the mistake of thinking that thus moistening the vulva with saliva is unseemly, or unsanitary. It is neither. On the contrary, it is nature's way of helping to perfection an act which, but for such timely assistance, might never be brought to a successful issue. As has already been noted, chemically, saliva and the pre-coital fluid are almost identical. They are both a natural secretion of a mucous membrane, are alkaline in reaction, their native purpose is lubrication, and, as a matter of fact, the saliva is as natural an application to the lips of the vulva as it is to the interior of the mouth or throat. Truth to tell, the practice of applying saliva to the genitals before coition is very general, so much so that it might almost be counted as instinctive. It is mentioned here only to remove any prejudice that might linger in the sophisticated mind of the reader. Such use of saliva is no more to be deprecated than its application in a hundred other ways, such as moistening the fingers to turn a leaf, of "licking" one's fingers after eating candy. Such use of this fluid from the mouth might be condemned by the "over-nice," but it is quite universally practiced, and it is neither unwholesome nor unsanitary.
It is sometimes recommended that some form of oil, as sweet oil or vaseline, be used as an unguent for anointing the parts before engaging in coitus, but this practice cannot be recommended. Oil is not a natural product of the parts to which it is applied, it is chemically unlike their secretions, and to smear the delicate organs with a fluid that is foreign to their nature, is unwise, unsanitary, not to say filthy. It is like greasing the mouth to make food slip down easily. And it is easy to understand how such application of an unguent to the mouth would impair the taste, dull the nerves of sensation, and greatly interfere with the native and wholesome uses of the oral cavity.
So don't be afraid or ashamed to use saliva in preparing the vulva and the vagina for the reception of their natural mate.
And so, to return to where we left off, if the wife is slower timed than her husband, her passion can be greatly increased by the manipulation just described. Indeed, it could be very easily carried to such length—the lips and tongue playing with the nipple, and the finger-stroking of the vulva—that the woman could be brought to an orgasm without the union of the organs at all! This is a form of masturbation (this word has a bad meaning attached to it, but it is a good word, as will shortly be shown, and it has its legitimate uses; but, as a preparation for coition, it should not be carried any further than is essential for bringing the laggard passion of the woman up to an equal tension of that of her lover.) A few weeks', or months', practice will enable a wife to determine just how much of this form of "courting" will bring her to the desired point of excitement; and, when this point is reached, she should invite her husband to "come up over," if the first position is to be adopted for the rest of the act; or, she should throw herself into her lover's arms, if the second position is used.
Just a little more—If, after getting into one position or the other, it seems to the wife that she is not yet fairly abreast of her husband in the intensity of her passion, let her still further seek to advance it, as follows:
If the position with the husband superior is taken, let him, after he has gotten into place and before the organs are united, have his wife take his penis in her hand, and, as he moves his hips up and down, stroke her vulva, especially the clitoris, with the glans penis—not entering the vagina at once, but continuing this form of exterior contact of the organs, for a longer or shorter time—slipping past the wide open vaginal mouth, even when the wife raises her thighs and, as it were, begs for an entrance; tantalizing her to the point of distraction—-till, finally, she will "take no for an answer" no longer, but will, in an ecstacy, slip the penis into the vagina, and thus consummate their union.
If she be far enough abandoned with her passion, such entrance may be made at a single stroke, not to say a furious plunge. But if the vulva and vagina are not yet fully dilated, the entrance should be carefully made, gently made, as she can bear it, as she wishes it to be.
Sometimes, yes, not infrequently, in this position, the external stroking of the organs may be continued to the very verge of the orgasm, so that, especially if the entrance can be made, as it were, in a frenzy of passionate delight, the organs coming into full length union at a single impulse, or rushing together—then the simultaneous climax may be reached with one or two in-and-out motions—or, perhaps the single master-plunge may win the goal instanter! If so, a consummation devoutly to be wished has been successfully reached!
Again, if the wife is slow, and the man is quick, in this play for "getting together," it will enable the man to greatly extend and protract what might be called the time of his possible retention, if he can keep the foreskin over the glans penis. Some men cannot do this. If they have been circumcised, of course they cannot! But if the glans penis can be covered with the foreskin during all this playing together, it will enable the husband to prolong his "retentional time" far beyond what he otherwise could. Some men have the power of "retaining" to almost any length of time by the exercise of their will power, and so they can wait for their wives. If the wife is slower timed than the husband, he should carefully cultivate the "art of retaining" and so wait for her. To do this successfully will greatly increase married happiness.
This same remark (keeping the gland covered) applies with equal force to the possibilities of the man's retention after the organs are united, and all through the third part of the act. If the penis can enter the vagina with its "natural cap on," the husband can give his wife the pleasure of many times the amount of in-and-out motion than he could otherwise bestow upon her. And if the wife is the slower of the two (as is generally the case) she will greatly appreciate such a favor, and will repay it a THOUSAND FOLD by the responsive, reciprocal motions which she will LAVISH upon her considerate lover.
This is an item of almost supreme importance—this "keeping the cap on" the penis, during the act, if the wife is slower than the husband—if they need to have a care, to insure their "getting off together."
And here is a curious fact, which would seem to show that Mother Nature has especially provided a blissful reward for both the husband and wife who will be careful on this point. Thus, if the husband will be careful to have the glans penis covered with the foreskin (and, of course, this can never be, if the organs are united when the vulva and vagina are dry) when it enters the vagina, and will so engage in the in-and-out motion that it will stay covered as the third act progresses—if this is done, when the climax comes, if the two "spend together," the womb will open its mouth as it were, clasp the foreskin, slip it back over the gland so that, when the supreme instant comes, the naked gland will be in the most direct and blissful contact with the most sensitive part of the uterus! This is a most wonderful provision of nature, and to utilize it, and enjoy it to its utmost, is the maximum of human delight!
Again, if after the organs are well together, in the man-superior position, and the in-and-out motion has begun, it should be found that the wife is still behind in the game, she can gain greatly in "catching up" if she is permitted to originate the larger part of the motion. To enable her to do this, let her husband hold his body quite well above her, so that she can have plenty of freedom to move her hips as she may choose to. Added to this, if the husband will, in large measure, "hold still," and keep his penis in such position that it presses against the upper part of the vulva, that is against the clitoris, (as the phrase goes, if he will "ride high") and then permit his wife to make "long strokes," sliding the organs together for their full possible length, with the clitoris in constant contact with the penis, during the whole of each stroke—all of this will greatly and rapidly increase her passions and bring her to the climax.
Or, as a variation from this, if the organs can be united to their fullest possible limit, so that the base of the penis presses firmly against the Mons Veneris, and the clitoris and labiae almost clasp their mate; and then, in this position, if the husband will maintain the status quo, while she lifts her hips hard against his, and swings them about, in a sort of circular motion "round and round," as it were—this will also greatly increase her passion, and soon bring her to the climax.
In both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be extra careful not to permit the weight of his body to press down heavily upon his wife. He should wholly sustain himself on his elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips, by the help of her arms around his waist. This is no hardship for the husband, if he be a true lover. For is he not strong, and what is his strength for but to delight his sweetheart? A true, devoted, virile and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! To delight her, is to doubly delight himself. This is another point of which mere animals know nothing. There is nothing in all their nature which responds to the like of this, in any way. The whole experience is human; it is productive of a joy, of a spiritual elevation, which mere animality knows nothing of—can know nothing of.
Playing thus together, courting each other thus (For, through all these actions, a line of complete mutualness must run! The husband may seem to be specially accommodating himself, and all he does, to his wife's whims or necessities; but, even so, this will be more of a delight to him than it is to her, viewed from the spiritual plane, on the principle that "it is more blessed to give than to receive"—and no truer words than these were ever spoken—while, at the same time, the wife, though seeming only to be gratifying herself, to be reaching after what she alone desires, yet, as a matter of fact, by her very so doing—and the more perfectly, completely, she does this, the better—she is gratifying and delighting her husband to the utmost possible limit) courting each other thus, the lovers will learn to "time" themselves together, perfectly, each knowing just when the other is fully ready, by a sort of spiritual consciousness, as it were, and so a perfect climax can be reached.
Take time, LET LOVE RULE AND DIRECT; BANISH ALL SELFISHNESS; Let the husband keep his head, and THE WIFE UTTERLY LOSE HERS, throwing it to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion; feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where! Do these things, and married life will be glorious! Of such is the kingdom of heaven, for the truly wedded lovers!
This will be "all Greek," or "foolishness" to the selfish and materially-minded; but to the truly wise, it will be life immeasurable. This is a paradox, but it takes a paradox to tell the greatest truths!
So much for the act of coitus in the man-superior position, when the wife is slower timed than the husband and they adopt this method, and the accompanying means for "getting together." Now, if the other position is taken, that of the wife semi-superior, in the husband's arms, as he lies partly on his back and partly on his left side, etc., here are a few points to be noted to advantage.
Still assuming that the wife is the slower-timed of the two, it is entirely possible that when she has "come over" and has gotten into position, that she may not yet be fully ready for the union of the organs. The very time that it takes for her to get into position, the changing of the position of her body, from her back to her right side; the temporary cessation of the stroking of the vulva by her husbands's [sic] fingers; all these things will have a tendency to retard her passion, for the time being, and all this loss ought to be made good, if not added to, before the second part of the act is entered upon. And, in this position, all this can most happily be brought about, as follows:—
Lying in each other's arms, in this second described position, the organs naturally come into contact in such a way as to make the further excitation of the vulva and clitoris most natural and easy. The spreading of the wife's hips, caused by her throwing her left leg over her husband's right and drawing up of her left knee, opens the vulva wide; and, at the same time, the penis, from the very nature of its position, will lie at full length in the opening, thus exposed—not entering the vagina, but remaining "without the gate" as yet.
By this time the vulva will have become enlarged and elongated, the lips full and the clitoris erect, all in a state of tumescence, and all covered with the pre-coital fluid; the lips so distended that, when thus parted, they form the sides of a labial canal, as it were (a delectable, and most delicately smooth-walled channel). Now, in this extended condition, which is fully as long as the penis, from end to end of its pathway of dalliance, every part covered with the most delicately sensitive nerve-filaments, and all of these in an ecstasy of keenness to the sense of touch, and in the most perfect of "love's strolling way,"—if the penis, as it were, stands up full and strong, in such fashion that it touches the vulva at every point, both inner and outer labiae, the clitoris and all, for a space of five or six inches in length; while the protruded and well-moistened lips of the vulva as it were reach out, and clasp themselves at least half way around their suitor, laving him with their luscious kisses—in this position, the wife being partly above, and so, perfectly free to move her "love way" as she will, she can slide the pathway itself a full six or more inches, up and down, stroking all the area against the penis as she moves; that, again, by its very position, being held firmly in contact by its stiffness and stoutness; the glans penis throbbing lustily against the clitoris when the two meet at the extreme of the wife's up-stroke; she, pausing an instant, just then, to more perfectly enjoy the sensation; the penis slipping past the now wide open vaginal mouth, which reaches out at every down stroke to engulf it—dallying, delaying, coquetting, tantalizing, both man and woman; playing the game in almost a swoon of ecstatic delight—under such conditions the wife's passion will rush to its fullest development, till, when she will, she can drop her vagina upon the penis in such a way that the two will be made one, in absolute perfection, on a single move, and from this to the finish it is but a few motions distant.
In some respects this manner of coitus, and this means of "going off together" is unsurpassed.
Which leads to the remark that this position is sometimes the best for the full completion of the act. It is the easiest of all positions, the least fatiguing. And if the wife is tired, or not quite "up to grade," she can enjoy an embrace of this sort without fatigue, even to the full. For the organs can be united in this position quite perfectly, though the penis will not penetrate the vagina to as great a length as in the other position. Still, the climax can be perfectly reached in this way, and it is one of the best ways to make sure of perfect "timing," of "spending" exactly together, which is greatly in its favor.
If there is a mis-matching of the organs, the vagina of the wife being too short for her husband's penis, this is a most excellent way for meeting and overcoming that difficulty.
This naturally leads to another matter, as follows:—It might seem to the reader that the different "strokings" of the vulva, with the fingers, or the penis, all the contact being outside the vagina, that all of these methods of excitation smack of masturbation, and so are of doubtful rightness. In reply to which, note the following:
The entire affair of coition, in humanity, has already been shown to be something wholly above and beyond mere animality. It is the exercise of functions that belong only to mankind, and hence is not amenable to any merely animal laws or restrictions! It is the source of numberless human joys, and any method of engaging in the act of mutual delight, that is, of mutually happifying, is legitimate and altogether right. And so, if the parties choose to increase their mutual delight, if the husband wishes to arouse and intensify his wife's passion by stroking her vulva with his saliva-moistened fingers, and she wishes him to do so, such act is as right and as wholesome as is coitus in the by-some-supposed-to-be only way of its exercise. Let this never be doubted.
The fact is, this whole matter of sexual excitation by means of the hand, or in other ways than the union of the organs, has received a black eye at the hands of would be purists, which it in no way deserves. As already noted, the word masturbation has been fastened to such acts, and then, any and every form of it has been condemned far beyond what the facts warrant, till the minds of the rank and file are wholly misled in the premises! When one looks at the situation from the point of view which insists that all the sex functions should be under the control of the will, then light is thrown upon the entire subject. Seen in this way, any form of sex stimulation, or auto-erotism even (auto-erotism means self sex-excitation) which is NOT CARRIED TO EXCESS, is right and wholesome! But we have been taught the contrary of this for so long that it is difficult for us to realize that it is true. But it is!
Hence, if it should sometimes happen that the husband should arrive at the climax before the wife does, and he could not bring her to an orgasm by excitation with his spent penis, it would be perfectly right for him to substitute his fingers, and satisfy her in that way. Of course, this would not be as satisfying to her as it would have been could she have met him simultaneously, but it is far better than for her not to be entirely gratified! Many a woman SUFFERS ALL NIGHT LONG with unsatisfied desire, her organs congested and tumescent, because she has been left UNSATISFIED by a husband who has spent before she was ready, AND THEN LEFT HER! Such cases might be entirely relieved, if the parties knew the truth, and were not too ignorant, or prejudiced, or ashamed to do what should be done to make the best of a situation.
Of course, no husband should make a practice of gratifying himself fully, and then bringing his wife to the climax with his fingers. Such a practice would be selfish and wrong. But as an emergency way of escape, the method is to be commended.
Of course, as has already been explained, the husband always has the advantage, that he can be brought to the orgasm by the insertion of the penis into the vagina, after his wife has spent, if she arrives first, since her organs detumesce slowly, and their distended condition permits such action on his part, for some time after she has passed the climax. But not so with the husband. Once spent, his penis shrinks to limpness, almost immediately, and in this condition it cannot satisfy the wife in the least, much less bring her to an orgasm.
Again, if, for any reason, the wife should be unable to meet her husband in coitus proper, because of weakness, or slight illness, or perhaps some temporary soreness of the parts, it would help the situation wonderfully if she would take his penis in her hand and "play with it" till he spent. He would love her for it, kiss her for it, give her his soul for it!
If a bride and bridegroom knew enough to introduce each other to the delights of an orgasm by "spending" each other by external excitation of the organs with their hands a few times before they united the organs at all, it would be to their lasting well being. This is especially true for the bride. If her lover would take her in his arms, even with all her clothes on, as she sat on his lap, in their bridal chamber, alone, and stroke her vulva till she "spent," the chances are many to one that he would have introduced her to such a joy that she would never forget it, all her life. Surely, such method is infinitely superior to raping a bride, as is so frequently done by the ignorant or goody-good young husband, who "stands upon his rights!"
Indeed, if a bride to be, who was so innocent or ignorant of her own sex possibilities that she had never experienced an orgasm—had never "spent"—could be "put wise" before her bridal-night, if she could be instructed enough to lead her to engage in some form of auto-erotism, bringing herself to an orgasm with her own hand, just for the sake of the experience it would give her, and so that she would have some clear idea of what she really wanted, before she went into the arms of her lover—if she could do this, in the right mental attitude, it would be greatly to her well-being, a worthy and valuable addition to her stock of knowledge of herself and of the powers that are latent within her. Her alleged loss of innocence by such act would be as nothing compared with the wisdom she would gain by the experience. When innocence leads to harmful results, it is time it was ended, and that knowledge takes its place!
As for the husband, the chances are not one in a million that he will be ignorant of what an orgasm is like before he marries, since all healthy young men "spend" at least once a week, automatically, if not otherwise!
Let it be said further, that auto-erotism, self-spending, may be practiced by both men and women, to their healthful benefit, when sexual exercise cannot be secured in any other way. It is only when carried to excess that such action is in any way harmful. The only danger is, that, the individual being alone and having all the means for self-gratification in his or her own hands, so to speak, it is quite possible to indulge in the action too freely, which, of course, leads to bad results. But the act itself is not bad. On the contrary, when kept within bounds, it is healthful and wholesome.
There are many unmarried women, maiden ladies, and especially widows, who would greatly improve their health if they practiced some form of auto-erotism, occasionally. When husbands and wives are forced to be much away from each other, it is right for them to occasionally satisfy themselves in this way, their souls filled with loving thoughts of the absent one the while.
There is any amount of nonsense current about auto-erotism. As a matter of fact, all boys masturbate, and many girls also. Some authors claim that more than half of all women engage in some form of auto-erotism, at some time in their lives, and the estimate is probably too low rather than too high. But, unless they carry the act to excess, they are guilty of no wrong. Not infrequently, they may make the act a means of great good to themselves. The sex organs are alive! They constantly secrete fluids that need to be excreted, as all other organs of the body do. They ought to be relieved, as their nature requires they should be. If this cannot be accomplished as the most natural way prescribes, it is only right to do the next best thing. Only, it should not be carried to excess. Be temperate in all things. Gratify yourself, but don't ABUSE yourself. Auto-erotism, or masturbation, should never be permitted to become "self-abuse," nor is there any need that it should ever do so. It should be self-upbuilding, not self degrading. Rightly used it can be thus.