MUSIC AND DANCING.
Her pupils having taken their places, Mrs. Williams proceeded.
“In music and dancing you have made such proficiency that your performances must be very pleasing to your friends, before whom you occasionally exhibit.
“As dancing is an accomplishment merely external, let not the vanity of excellence in it betray itself in an air of conscious superiority, when you shine at the ball, and perceive yourselves to have attracted the attention and applause of the gay assembly. But in the midst of hilarity and mirth, remember that modesty, diffidence, discretion, and humility are indispensable appendages of virtue and decency.
“Music is a talent which nature has bestowed, and which your application has considerably improved. It has a powerful influence over the heart; wonderfully soothes and humanizes the passions, and is a source of refined pleasure to a mind capable of tasting its charms.
“Never refuse gratifying your friends by the exertion of your abilities in performing, unless for some very special reason. Though I would not have you vain of your skill, and officiously forward to display it; yet the affectation of uncommon modesty, and ignorance, is truly ridiculous. To plead inability to exercise powers, which you are conscious of possessing, and for which you wish to be esteemed and honored by others, is false delicacy, and will never gain admission to the breast where that which is genuine resides. How perfectly absurd it is for a young lady, who is politely requested to entertain a company with her musical talents, to declare them so small that she is really ashamed to expose herself before such good judges; or that she has neglected playing, or singing, for some time, and cannot immediately revive her dormant skill; or that she has forgotten her tunes, or songs; or that she has a bad cold; (which none but herself perceives,) and is unable to sing; or that she is loath to begin this amusement, and must insist upon some other lady’s setting the example; which other lady has, in her turn, an equal number of excuses! Thus the time of the company is engrossed, and their pleasure suspended, till a long train of arguments, entreaties, and compliments are run through, and her vanity fully gratified by the most flattering and importunate solicitations.
“Then, elate with pride and self importance, she condescends to grant their request; not considering how far she has derogated from her own merit by the futile artifice she has employed; an artifice unworthy of an ingenuous mind, and disgraceful to any lady who has arrived to years of discretion.
“Let us view this evasive manner of seeking compliments a little nearer. When a person is known to be mistress of this delightful art, what can be her motive for delaying the gratification of her friends by its exercise, and refusing a compliance with their wishes, till their patience is exhausted? I believe that excuses, in this case, are very seldom sincere. The youthful mind is not insensible to praise, nor indifferent to the means of obtaining it.
“Why then should it not be received and increased by a ready and obliging compliance? A desire to please is usually attended with success; and for what reason should the power and disposition be artfully concealed?
“Always preserve a frankness and sincerity in your actions and designs. These will add dignity to your condescensions, and gracefulness to your deportment.
“Rise superior to those little arts which bespeak the finesse of a childish folly, or a narrow mind. Do honor to this, as well as to every other part of your education, by acting conformably to the precepts which have been given you, the knowledge which you have acquired, and the opportunities with which you may be furnished for the purpose.
“Music and dancing, though polite and elegant accomplishments, are, perhaps, the most fascinating, and, of course, the most dangerous of any that fall under that description. When indulged to excess, beside engrossing much time which ought to be employed in the execution of more necessary and useful designs, they sometimes allure their fond votaries from that purity and rectitude which are the chief embellishments of the female character. They lay the mind open to many temptations, and, by nourishing a frivolous vanity, benumb the nobler powers both of reflection and action.
“Levitia was endowed, by the joint influence of nature and art, with these pleasing charms. Symmetry was perfected in her form; and her voice was melody itself. Her parents were not in affluent circumstances; yet their taste led them to distinguish those graces and talents in their daughter, which they injudiciously flattered themselves might, one day, raise her to affluence and fame. Hence they spared no pains nor expense, in their power to bestow, to assist her inclination and gratify her wishes. As she advanced in years, she assiduously cultivated and diligently improved those endowments which she had been erroneously encouraged, and even taught, to consider most valuable. To adorn her person, regulate her movements, and practise her music, was all her care. Nor had she a wish beyond the pleasures, which she fancied they could yield. Her mind resembled a garden, in which the useful plants were overrun and choked by noxious weeds. Here and there, a gaudy flower rears its brilliant head, and proudly dares to arrest the eye; while the delicate and useful lie buried and concealed in the surrounding waste!
“Flattery was pleasing to her ear, in whatever form it was presented. The gay and licentious sought her society; and vanity with its attendant train of follies led her imagination far from the sphere of life which Providence had assigned her. Her parents saw their own mistake, and were alarmed at her’s: but, alas! too late were their endeavors to prevent the mischiefs which impended. They could not supply her unbounded wants; and therefore to gratify her ruling passion, she deemed means of her own invention indispensable. Among her admirers was a foreigner, who, failing of success in his own country, sought a subsistence in ours, from the stage. He knew Levitia’s talents. These might give her the palm of applause, and in his way of life, render her conspicuous. This plan he communicated to her, insidiously offering to become her guardian, and to put her under the protection of such friends as should defend her honor, and ensure her success. She was pleased with the project. Wholly unacquainted with the world, and unsuspicious of the subtle arts of the deluding libertine, she scrupled not his veracity, but listened to his insinuating declarations of love and friendship. She was deceived by the vanity of appearing where her fancied merit would meet with the encouragement and reward it deserved; and vainly imagining that her beauty might secure her elevation and affluence, she readily consented to the fatal experiment, eloped from her father’s house, and became a professed actress.
“Her parents were overwhelmed with grief and anxiety, at the discovery; but to no purpose were all their exertions to reclaim her. She had left them, no more to return; left them, too, with the heart-rending reflection, that they themselves had heedlessly contributed to her disgrace and ruin. But bitter indeed were the fruits of her disobedience and folly!
“She made her appearance on the stage. She sung and danced, for which she was caressed, flattered, and paid. A licentious mode of life quadrating with the levity of her heart, soon left her a prey to seduction. Her gaiety and beauty gained her many votaries, and she became a complete courtezan.
“In the midst of this career, her mother died of a broken heart, evidently occasioned by her undutiful and vicious conduct. A sense of her ingratitude to her parents, and her shameless manner of life struck her mind, not naturally unfeeling, with such force, as to throw her into a fever which undermined her constitution, deprived her of her beauty, ruined her voice, and left her without means of support. Her pretended lover, finding she could no longer be useful to him, perfidiously abandoned her to poverty and shame. She returned, like the prodigal, to her unhappy father, who received, but could not assist her. Her behavior, with its consequences in the death of her mother, had impaired his health, depressed his spirits, and rendered him incapable of providing for himself.
“She is now despised and avoided by all her former acquaintance, and must inevitably spend the remainder of her days in wretchedness.
“Let us turn from this disgusting picture, and behold its contrast in the amiable Florella. To beauty of person she superadds delicacy, sensibility, and every noble quality of the mind. Respectful to her superiors, affable, cheerful, and polite to her equals, and condescendingly kind to her inferiors, Florella is universally esteemed, beloved and admired. Of the pleasing accomplishments of music and dancing she is a consummate mistress. Yet she is superior to the vain arts of flattery, while the dignity of conscious virtue raises her far above the affectation of false modesty and diffidence. To please and oblige those friends who are interested in her happiness, and gratified by her performances, is her delight. Nor does she think it necessary, by feigned excuses, to delay the pleasure, which she is able to afford; but willingly enhances that pleasure by a ready and cheerful compliance. This she thinks the best return she can make for their kind attention. Though delighted with these amusements herself, she, nevertheless, considers them as amusements only; and assiduously cultivates the more solid branches of her education. These, she is wont to say, may render me useful and happy, when the voice of music shall be brought low, and when the sprightly limbs shall become languid and inactive.
“How happy her parents in her filial duty and affection! How rich the reward of their care and expense in contributing to her improvements! How happy Florella in their complacency and love, and in the consciousness of deserving them!
“She was, not long since, addressed by a gentleman, who was pleasing to her fancy; but, determined never to indulge a sentiment of partiality without the entire approbation of her parents, she referred him to their decision. For particular reasons, they disapproved of his suit. She acquiesced without reserve, and immediately dismissed him. Who would not rather be a resembler of Florella, than a vain, imprudent, and ruined Levitia?
“True, indeed, the acquirements and graces of Florella are not attainable by every one; but the virtues of discretion, modesty, and kindness are within the reach of the humblest sphere, and the most moderate abilities.”
Wednesday, A. M.
MISCELLANEOUS DIRECTIONS
FOR THE GOVERNMENT OF THE TEMPER AND MANNERS.
“I shall now,” said Mrs. Williams, “endeavor to sketch out for you the plan of conduct, which I think will be most conducive to your honor and happiness while in a single state. Hitherto you have been under the direction of parents, guardians, and instructors, who have regulated your deportment, and labored to give you just ideas upon every subject and occasion. That period is now over. You are now launching into life; where you will think and act more for yourselves.
“The path of rectitude, my dear young friends, is narrow and intricate. Temptations lurk around to beguile your feet astray; and dangers which appear insurmountable will often arise to affright you from the ways of virtue.
“But remember that a crown of honor and happiness awaits the undeviating pursuit of truth and duty. Let religion be your guide, and discretion your handmaid. Thus attended, you will escape the snares of youth, and surmount the perplexing cares of more advanced age. At your entrance on the stage of action, the allurements of pleasure will spread innumerable charms to court your acceptance. Beware of their fascinating wiles; and whatever course you adopt, be sure it is such as will bear the test of examination and reflection. Let these be the criterion of all your pursuits and enjoyments. Make it an invariable practice to re-trace the actions and occurrences of the day, when you retire to rest; to account with your own hearts for the use and improvement of the past hours; and rectify whatever you find amiss, by greater vigilance and caution, in future; to avoid the errors into which you have fallen, and to discharge the duties incumbent upon you.
“To neglect this, will be a source of great inadvertencies and failings.
“To know yourselves, in every particular, must be your constant endeavor. This knowledge will lead you to propriety and consistency of action. But this knowledge cannot be obtained without a thorough and repeated inspection of your various passions, affections, and propensities. When obtained, however, it will prevent the ill effects of flattery, by which you will doubtless be endangered, as you advance into the scenes of fashionable life. It will enable you to distinguish flattery from that generous praise which is the effusion of a feeling heart, affected by the perception of real merit. A young lady, unskilled in the deceitful arts of a giddy world, is very apt to be misled by the adulation which is offered at the shrine of vanity. She is considered as a mark for the wit of every coxcomb, who wishes to display his gallantry.
“Flattery is a dazzling meteor, which casts a delusive glare before the eye; and which seduces the imagination, perverts the judgment, and silences the dictates of sound reason. Flattery is, therefore, the poison and bane of the youthful mind. It renders the receiver blind to those defects which she ought to see and rectify, and proud of imaginary graces which she never yet possessed. Self-knowledge, as before observed, will facilitate the detection of this disguised adversary, by enabling you to investigate your real accomplishments and merits.
“That praise which is the result of deserved approbation from those, whose good opinion you wish to enjoy, is worthy your attention and grateful acceptance: but the fulsome compliments and hyperbolical professions of unmeaning and empty pretenders, calculated only to fill the imagination with the inflammable air of self-conceit and arrogant pride, should be rejected with disdain, and cordially despised by every lady of sense and sentiment, as an insult upon her understanding, and an indignity to her sensibility.
“Let it, therefore, be known to those who court your favor by an ostentatious parade of admiration and obsequiousness, that their dissimulation and duplicity are discovered, and that you are superior to such futility.
“In order to discriminate between flattery and merited praise, critically examine your own heart and life. By this mean you will ascertain what is really your due, and what is merely the effect of this insidious art. But let no ideas of your own endowments, however just, elate you with an opinion of your superior powers of pleasing.
“Be not ostentatious of your charms, either of person or mind. Let modesty, diffidence, and propriety regulate you, in regard to each. Exalted advantages will render you an object of envy to the weak minded of your own sex, and of satire to the ill-natured part of the other. Never obtrude even your real graces and accomplishments upon the world. The penetrating and judicious will see and applaud them, while retiring from the gaze of a misjudging and misrepresenting throng.
“Naked in nothing should a woman be,
But veil her very wit with modesty;
Let man discover; let her not display;
But yield her charms of mind with sweet delay.”
“Those who are solicitous for beauty should remember that the expression of the countenance, in which its very essence consists, depends on the disposition of the mind.
“What’s female beauty, but an air divine,
Through which the mind’s all gentle graces shine?
These, like the sun, irradiate all between;
The body charms, because the soul is seen.
Hence men are often captives of a face,
They know not why; of no peculiar grace.
Some forms, though bright, no mortal man can bear;
Some, none resist, tho’ not exceeding fair.”
Beauty, my dear girls, is indeed a desirable quality. Neither the pen of the moralist, nor the spleen of the satirist, nor the envy of such as want it, could ever bring it into contempt or neglect. Yet mere external beauty is transient as the meteor, and frail as the bubble, which floats on the surface of the watery element.
“Behold the disconsolate and despised Flirtilla! and from her fate learn not to trust in the effects or duration of this adventitious quality.
“Early in life, Flirtilla was taught that her charms were irresistible; that she might aspire to an absolute ascendency over the hearts and passions of her votaries. A superficial, but fashionable education added the allurements of art to those of person, and rendered her a finished coquette.
“Her beauty and the gaiety of her manners gained her numerous admirers, who swarmed around, like the insect tribe, eager to sip the fragrance of the equally fair and fading rose. The incense of flattery, in every form, was her tribute.
“Elated by this, she gave free scope to her ruling passions, the love of pleasure and dissipation. Her best days were spent in the chase of vanity; and she culled the flowers of life, without considering, that substantial fruit would be required at a more advanced period, as a substitute for the fading blossoms of youth. Her mind was barren of improvement, and consequently destitute of resources.
“She vainly imagined the triumphs of beauty to be permanent, till its declared enemy, the small-pox, convinced her of the egregious mistake. By this she found her empire suddenly overturned. The merciless disorder had reduced her to a level with the generality of her sex, in appearance, and, in enjoyment far below them. Her glass faithfully represented this insupportable reduction. Regret and chagrin heightened the apparent calamity. She was remembered only as the contrast of what she once had been. Her lovers were disgusted with the change, and sought more pleasing objects of attention; while men of sentiment could not find a similarity of disposition, in her, to induce a connexion.
“Her female acquaintance, who had envied her as a rival, or feared her as a superior, now insulted her with their pity, or mortified her by remarks on the surprising alteration in her appearance.
“Finding no alleviation from society, she retired from the world to nurse, in solitude, the vexation and disappointment she experienced.
“View her now, peevish, discontented, and gloomy! Her ideas of pleasure were centered in that person, which is now neglected; in those endowments which have now forsaken her forever!
“Thought she studiously shuns; for she has nothing pleasing to occupy her reflections, but what is irretrievably lost!
“Miserable Flirtilla! thou trustedst in vanity, and vanity is thy recompense! How happy mightest thou have been, even in this change, if thy heart had been rectified, thy understanding improved, and thy mind liberally stored with useful sentiments, knowledge, and information!
“Cultivate, then, my young friends, those dispositions and attainments, which will yield permanent and real satisfaction, when sickness, adversity, or age shall have robbed your eyes of their lustre, and diminished the bloom and sprightliness of your forms.
“You are doubtless sensible that your happiness, in life, does not depend so much on your external, as your internal graces.
“The constitutional temper of your minds was given you by nature; but reason is added for its regulation.
“On life’s vast ocean diversely we sail;
Reason the chart; but passion is the gale.”
“Our passions were certainly implanted for wise and benevolent purposes; and, if properly directed, may be of great utility. This direction nature will teach, and education improve. To their precepts we must implicitly listen, if we would become respectable or contented.
“Examine yourselves, therefore, with impartial scrutiny. Find out your particular faults in this respect, and exert your unwearied industry to amend them.
“Possibly you may be naturally hasty, passionate, or vindictive. If so, how wretched, at times, must the indulgence of this temper render you! When reason, awhile suspended, resumes its empire, and calm reflection succeeds the riot of passion, how severe must be your self-condemnation, and how keen your sensations of regret! Perhaps an unkindness of expression to some particular friend, disrespectful treatment of an honored superior, ill-timed resentment to a beloved equal, or imperious and unbecoming severity to a deserving inferior, may give you the most painful emotions, and degrade you in your own, as well as in the estimation of every observer! To prevent this evil, accustom yourselves to check the first risings of anger, and suspend every expression of displeasure, till you can deliberate on the provocation, and the propriety of noticing it. It may have been undesigned, and, therefore, not justly provoking. You may have misunderstood the word, or action of offence, and inquiry may remove the grounds of your suspicion: or the person offending may be one with whom prudence and honor require you not to enter the lists. But if neither of these considerations occur, reflect a moment, that your own reputation and consequent happiness are at stake and that to lose the command of yourselves and your passions is inconsistent with the delicacy of ladies, the moderation of Christians, and the dignity of rational beings.
“Let every sally alarm, and excite you to rally and new-discipline your forces; and to be more strictly on your guard against the assaults of your foe.
“The character of Camilla is a pattern worthy of your imitation. While very young, Camilla was unfortunately deprived of the instruction and regulating hand of a discreet and judicious mother. Her father was too much immersed in business to attend to the cultivation of his daughter’s mind.
“He gave her the means of a genteel education, praised her excellencies, and chid her faults, without being at the pains of teaching her how to amend them. The irritability of her temper he rather indulged, considering her as a girl of spirit, who would make her way in the world, in spite of obstacles. She was naturally generous, tender-hearted, and humane; but her temper was as uncontrollable as the whirlpool, and as impetuous as the wind. Happily for her, she had an uncommon strength of mind, a ready apprehension, a quick perception, and a depth of understanding, seldom equalled. She saw her errors, was conscious of her failings, and a severe sufferer for her faults. But such was the extreme quickness of her feelings, and so passionate her resentment of any thing which appeared injurious or affrontive, that she could not always repress them. She married a gentleman of a similar temper, and of equal prudence. In the union of such violent spirits, great harmony could not be presaged. Their passions were lively, their affections ardent.
“The honey-moon in raptures flew,
A second brought its transports too;
The third, the fourth, were not amiss;
The fifth was friendship, mixed with bliss;
But ere a twelvemonth passed away,
They found each other made of clay.”
“Inadvertencies gave offence; frequent altercations arose; both were tenacious of their rights, and averse to condescension. Camilla saw the impending danger; she became sensible that the happiness of her life depended on amendment and caution; she resolved to avoid giving or taking offence, with the greatest diligence; to suppress every emotion of anger; and when she thought herself injured, to retire or be silent, till passion had subsided, and she could regain her calmness.
“This was a hard task, at first; but perseverance rendered it effectual to a thorough reformation in each.
“Her example and pathetic admonitions induced her husband to adopt her prudent plan. They found their mutual endeavors productive of real satisfaction, and happiness the reward of their exertions to secure it.
“To be vindictive is equally, perhaps more fatal to our own, and the peace of others, than to be passionate. Violent passions of all kinds are generally transient; but revenge is the offspring of malice, the parent of discord, and the bane of social love. It is an evidence of a weak and sickly mind. True greatness will rise superior to this ignoble spirit, so peculiarly ungraceful in a lady, and inconsistent with that delicacy and softness, which ought ever to characterize the sex.
“But an envious temper is, of all others, the most degrading and miserable. Envy is a malignant poison, which rankles in the heart, and destroys the inward peace, even while there is an outward appearance of serenity. That mind, which cannot rejoice in the happiness of others, is capable of very little in itself. To look with a grudging and evil eye on the enjoyments of our neighbor, must be a source of perpetual chagrin and mortification.
“Envy indulged, is a punishment to its possessor. Eradicate, then, the first, and every emotion of so corroding and destructive a nature; and endeavor to excel only by that virtuous emulation, which is productive of improvement and respectability.
“A kind, compassionate, benevolent, humane disposition is an invaluable treasure. It will render you blessings to society, and objects of universal esteem.
“In you ’tis graceful to dissolve at wo;
With every motion, every word, to wave
Quick o’er the kindling cheek the ready blush;
And from the smallest violence to shrink.”—
“This amiable temper, however, may sometimes degenerate into weakness.
“Prudence should be exercised, even in the indulgence of the most engaging qualities. In the progress of life, occasions may call for that resolution and fortitude, which admit not of apparent softness; but such occasions very seldom occur.
“How alluring are the charms of sympathy and charity! Happy are they who always feel the one, and have power and inclination to exemplify the other!
“The diamond and the ruby’s blaze
Dispute the palm with beauty’s queen;
Not beauty’s queen demands such praise,
Devoid of virtue if she’s seen.
But the soft tear in pity’s eye
Outshines the diamond’s brightest beam,
And the sweet blush of modesty
More beauteous than the ruby’s seen.”
Wednesday, P. M.