The Confessions of a Caricaturist, Vol. 2

by Harry Furniss

VOLUME II

NEW YORK AND LONDON:
HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS.
1902.
BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS,
LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.
All rights reserved.
December, 1901.

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CONTENTS.

	Page
CHAPTER VIII. THE ARTISTIC JOKE.
The First Idea--How it was Made--"Fire!"--I am a Somnambulist--My Workshop--My Business "Partner"--Not by Gainsborough--Lord Leighton--The Private View--The Catalogue--Sold Out--How the R.A.'s Took It--How a Critic Took It--Curious Offers--Mr. Sambourne as a Company Promoter--A One-man Show--Punch's Mistake--A Joke within a Joke--My Offer to the Nation	pp. [1]--[25]
CHAPTER IX. CONFESSIONS OF A COLUMBUS.
The Cause of my Cruise--No Work--The Atlantic Greyhound--Irish Ship--Irish Doctor--Irish Visitors--Queenstown--A Surprise--Fiddles--Edward Lloyd--Lib--Chess--The Syren--The American Pilot--Real and Ideal--Red Tape--Bribery--Liberty--The Floating Flower Show--The Bouquet--A Bath and a Bishop--"Beastly Healthy"--Entertainment for Shipwrecked Sailors--Passengers--Superstition.
America in a Hurry--Harry Columbus Furniss--The Inky Inquisition--First Impressions--Trilby--Tempting Offers--Kidnapped--Major Pond--Sarony--Ice--James B. Brown--Fire!--An Explanation.
Washington--Mr. French of Nowhere--Sold--Interviewed--The Sporting Editor--Hot Stuff--The Capitol--Congress--House of Representatives--The Page Boys--The Agent--Filibuster--The "Reccard"--A Pandemonium--Interviewing the President.
Chicago--The Windy City--Blowers--Niagara--Water and Wood--Darkness to Light--My Vis-à-Vis--Mr. Punch--My Driver--It Grows upon Me--Inspiration--Harnessing Niagara--The Three Sisters--Incline Railway--Captain Webb.
Travelling--Tickets--Thirst--Sancho Panza--Proclaimed States--"The Amurrican Gurl"--A Lady Interviewer--The English Girl--A Hair Restorer--Twelfth Night Club Reception at a Ladies' Club--The Great Presidential Election--Sound Money v. Free Silver--Slumland--Detective O'Flaherty.	pp. [26]--[130]
CHAPTER X. AUSTRALIA.
Quarantined--The Receiver-General of Australia--An Australian Guide-book--A Death Trap--A Death Story--The New Chum--Commercial Confessions--Mad Melbourne--Hydrophobia--Madness--A Land Boom--A Paper Panic--Ruin.
Sydney--The Confessions of a Legislator--Federation--Patrick Francis Moran.
Adelaide--Wanted, a Harbour--Wanted, an Expression--Zoological--Guinea-pigs--Paradise!--Types--Hell Fire Jack--The Horse--The Wrong Room!	pp. [131]--[153]
CHAPTER XI. PLATFORM CONFESSIONS.
Lectures and Lecturers--The Boy's Idea--How to Deliver It--The Professor--The Actors--My First Platform--Smoke--Cards--On the Table--Nurses--Some Unrehearsed Effects--Dress--A Struggle with a Shirt--A Struggle with a Bluebottle--Sir William Harcourt Goes out--My Lanternists Go Out--Chairmen--The Absent Chairman--The Ideal Chairman--The Political Chairman--The Ignorant Chairman--Chestnuts--Misunderstood--Advice to Those about to Lecture--I am Overworked--"'Arry to Harry."	pp. [154]-[189]
CHAPTER XII. MY CONFESSIONS AS A "REFORMER."
Portraiture Past and Present--The National Portrait Gallery Scandal--Fashionable Portraiture--The Price of an Autograph--Marquis Tseng--"So That's My Father!"--Sala Attacks Me--My Retort--Du Maurier's Little Joke--My Speech--What I Said and What I Did Not Say--Fury of Sala--The Great Six-Toe Trial--Lockwood Serious--My Little Joke--Nottingham Again--Prince of Journalists--Royal Academy Antics--An Earnest Confession--My Object--My Lady Oil--Congratulations--Confirmations--The Tate Gallery--The Proposed Banquet--The P.R.A. and Modern Art--My Confessions in the Central Criminal Court--Cricket in the Park--Reform!--All About that Snake--The Discovery--The Capture--Safe--The Press--Mystery--Evasive--Experts--I Retaliate--The Westminster Gazette--The Schoolboy--The Scare--Sensation--Death--Matters Zoological--Modern Inconveniences--Do Women Fail in Art?--Wanted a Wife	pp. [190]-[234]
CHAPTER XIII. MY CONFESSIONS AS A "REFORMER."
My First City Dinner--A Minnow against the Stream--Those Table Plans--Chaos--The City Alderman, Past and Present--Whistler's Lollipops--Odd Volumes--Exchanging Names--Ye Red Lyon Clubbe--The Pointed Beard--Baltimore Oysters--The Sound Money Dinner--To Meet General Boulanger--A Lunch at Washington--No Speeches.
The Thirteen Club--What it was--How it was Boomed--Gruesome Details--Squint-Eyed Waiters--Superstitious Absentees--My Reasons for being Present--'Arry of Punch--The Lost "Vocal" Chords--The Undergraduate and the Undertaker--Model Speeches--Albert Smith--An Atlantic Contradiction--The White Horse--The White Feather--Exit 13	pp. [235]-[271]
CHAPTER XIV. THE CONFESSIONS OF AN EDITOR.
Editors--Publishers--An Offer--Why I Refused it--The Pall Mall Budget--Lika Joko--The New Budget--The Truth about my Enterprises--Au Revoir!	pp. [272]-[280]

HARRY FURNISS'S (EGYPTIAN STYLE).
From "Punch."

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LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

	PAGE
An Artistic Joke. A London Slum. My Parody of the Venetian School.	Frontispiece.
My Studio during the Progress of "An Artistic Joke"	[1]
Harry Furniss's Royal Academy	[3]
Throwing myself into it	[5]
Fire!	[6]
The Pictures by R. Macbeth:
Potato Gang in the Fens;
Twitch-burning in the Fens;
A Flood in the Fens	[8]
Macbeth in the Fens	[9]
Letter from the President of the Royal Academy	[11]
"An Artistic Joke"	[15]
Mr. Sambourne's Prospectus	[18]
Cover of "How he did it"	[20]
Initial "T"	[20]
My Portrait. Frontispiece for "How he did it"	[21]
Harry Furniss and his "Lay Figure"	[22]
Letter from the President of the Royal Academy	[25]
Initial "I"	[26]
A "T—Tonic"	[27]
An Atlantic "Greyhound."	[28]
The Saloon of the Teutonic. The First Morning at Breakfast	[30]
At Queenstown—A Reminiscence	[33]
Bog-Oak Souvenirs	[34]
The Captain's Table	[36]
Not up in a Balloon	[38]
Chess	[40]
Mr. Lloyd and the Lady. "If you will sing, I will!"	[42]
The American Pilot—Ideal	[43]
The American Pilot—Real	[43]
The Health Officer comes on Board	[45]
Just in Time	[46]
"A Floating Flower Show"	[47]
The Bath Steward and the Bishop. "Your Time, Sir! Your Time!"	[48]
Americans and English on Deck	[49]
American Interviewing—Imaginary	[52]
American Interviewing—Real	[53]
"Sandy."	[55]
Chiropody	[57]
"New Trilby."	[58]
"Amiable Mr. Harry Furniss"	[59]
Major Pond	[59]
The Great Sarony	[61]
James B. Brown	[63]
Fire!	[65]
The Alarm	[67]
The Throne in the Senate	[72]
The Throne, House of Representatives	[73]
Initial "T"	[74]
The House of Representatives	[75]
An ex-Speaker	[77]
An ex-Minister	[80]
Anglophobia	[82]
The President—Ideal	[83]
The President—Real	[83]
Initial "A"	[84]
A Buffalo Girl	[84]
President Harrison's Reply	[85]
Mr. Punch at Niagara	[86]
Hebe	[86]
My Driver	[87]
Fra' Huddersfield	[87]
Niagara growing upon Me	[88]
I admire the great Horseshoe Fall	[89]
Jonathan harnessing Niagara	[90]
"The Three Sisters."	[91]
Inclined Railway, Niagara	[92]
Where Captain Webb was Killed	[93]
Tourists	[94]
American Travelling. Nothing to Eat	[96]
American Travelling. Nothing to Drink	[97]
Sleep(!)	[100]
A Washington Lady	[102]
A Lady Interviewer	[104]
A Sketch at "Del's"	[105]
Young America	[106]
An American Menu	[107]
My Portrait—in the Future	[108]
I am Entertained at the Twelfth Night Club	[110]
Reception at a Ladies' Club	[112]
Wife and Husband	[113]
A Dream of the White House	[114]
The Political Quartette	[116]
After the Great Parade: "Am I to sit on an ordinary seat to-night?"	[120]
Italians	[123]
Where the Deed was done!	[125]
"A Youth with a Crutch"	[127]
In an Opium Joint	[128]
"In His Own Black Art"	[128]
"Hitting the Pipe"	[129]
"Good-bye"	[130]
Initial "W"	[131]
Coaling	[132]
Quarantine	[133]
Initial "T"	[134]
Sleepy Hollow	[135]
Prospectors	[138]
Quarantine Island	[141]
I am invited to present myself	[143]
Landing at Adelaide	[148]
Pondicherry Vultures	[150]
The Maid of the Inn	[150]
The Way into Paradise	[151]
Paradise	[151]
Adam and Eve	[152]
A Type	[153]
Queen's Hall, London. I was the first to speak from the Platform	[154]
"Parliament by Day"	[156]
"Parliament by Night"	[157]
Miss Mary Anderson	[159]
Initial "By"	[159]
Giving My "Humours of Parliament" to the Nurses	[162]
Speaker Brand, afterwards Viscount Hampden	[164]
The Surprise Shirt	[166]
Discovered!	[168]
The Fly in the Camera	[169]
Late Arrivals	[171]
Reserved Seats	[172]
Chairman No. 1	[174]
Chairman No. 2	[177]
The Pumpkin—a Chestnut	[178]
In "The Humours of Parliament." Ballyhooley Pathetic	[181]
Harry Furniss as a Pictorial Entertainer	[182]
"Grandolph ad Leones." Reduction of a Page Drawing for Punch made by me whilst travelling by Train	[185]
Down with Dryasdust	[189]
From a Photo by Debenham and Gould	[190]
G. A. Sala	[195]
"Art Critic of the Daily Telegraph"	[199]
Counsel for the Plaintiff	[200]
Mr. F. C. Gould's Sketch in the Westminster, which Sala maintained was mine	[200]
Defendant	[202]
My Hat	[202]
The Plaintiff	[203]
The Editor of Punch supports me	[203]
Sir F. Lockwood and Myself	[204]
"Six Toes" Signature	[205]
The Sequel—I Distribute the Prizes at Nottingham	[205]
Initial "T"	[206]
The See-Saw Antic	[207]
The first P.R.A.	[209]
No Water-Colour or Black-and-White need apply	[210]
A National Academy	[211]
The Central Criminal Court. From Punch	[215]
"Thank Y-o-o-u!"	[216]
Regent's Park as it was. From Punch. A Rough Sketch on Wood	[217]
The Late Mr Bartlett	[220]
Sketch by Mr. F. C. Gould	[223]
The Lady and Her Snakes	[226]
Do Women fail in Art—The Chrysalis	[228]
The Butterfly	[230]
Early Victorian Art	[232]
Young Lady's Portrait of her Brother	[233]
Waiting	[234]
Initial "P"	[235]
Menu of the Dinner given to me by the Lotos Club, New York	[237]
Alderman—Ideal. Real	[239]
J. Whistler, after a City Dinner (Drawn with my Left Hand)	[241]
An Odd Volume	[241]
My Design for Sette of Odd Volumes	[242]
My Design (reduced) for the Dinner of Ye Red Lyon Clubbe	[243]
A Distinguished "Lyon"	[243]
Headpiece and Initial "S"	[245]
A Sound Money Dinner	[249]
A Sketch of Boulanger	[251]
Address of Boulanger's Retreat	[252]
A Note on My Menu	[253]
Remarkable and much-talked-of Lunch to me at Washington. The Autographs on back of Menu	[254]
Mr. Punch and his Dog Toby	[256]
A Memorandum in Pencil	[258]
Thirteen Club Banquet. The Table Decorations	[259]
Mr. W. H. Blanch	[260]
The Broken Looking-Glass	[261]
The Badge	[261]
Squint-Eyed Waiter	[263]
Coffins, Sir!	[266]
"The Chairman will be Pleased to Spill Salt with You." From the St. James's Budget	[267]
A Knife I was Presented with	[268]
Tailpiece	[271]
"Au Revoir"	[280]

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CONFESSIONS OF A CARICATURIST.

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CHAPTER VIII.