AN OPERA IN ONE ACT

ENTITLED “THE TIME SERVERS”

As the curtain rises a large and motley crew of nondescript humanity is discovered, of all shapes, sizes, and complexions, no two being alike, except in the special feature that all wear a halter about the neck. All howl to Calliope obligato:

At us please take a look,

You’ll find us on the List

In the Auditor’s Blue Book,

Where none of us are missed;

We scribble and figure and write

From morning until night;

We’re in a sorry plight,

And oh—oh—oh—oh—oh!!!

Cages are arranged R. and L. and up stage. The chorus disappears into these as Deputy enters. Deputy comes well down stage throws out his chest and sings:

I now declare

There’s nothing to compare

With my style and air,

When I’m in my chair:

And I further declare, without fear of opposition,

That no man alive can fill my position.

Chiefs, 1st, 2nd and 3rd class clerks. Class A and B, with sub-divisions, messengers, and packers crowd out of the cages and come down and sing similarly:

Deputy in high falsetto:

You see, you see,

They all agree

With the opinion I express

Regarding me.

Chorus replies, forte:

You’re all at sea,

The fellows we sing about

Is we.

Enter the Minister, gazing heavenward. Deputy dives into a hole, and pulls hole in after him. Chorus proceeds to look like thirty cents. Minister sings:

It’s curious to contemplate

The ways of different men

Who by the force of Character

Do climb on top, or when

By scheme or lucky circumstance

Their little selves they find

Perched on high public prominence,

Far above common kind.

One does a funny dance,

Or some weird trick fantastic,

Oblivious to the smiles and tears

He causes by his antic.

Another swells his chest

And apes a thoughtful front,

And fondly hopes the world looks on

To see him do his stunt.

A third would lead society,

And in cultured circles shine,

And thinks the fact accomplished when

Instead of “eating” he must “dine.”

Enter the Civil Service Commissioners. The Minister takes a back seat. Commissioners sing duo (Chorus stand at attention):

Did it ever strike you

That if you knew

The reason for the other fellow’s

Point of view,

You’d have some information

Fresh and new?

So when you disagree

With any he,

Just take a look about and try and see

If what he thinks

Can really be.

Chorus sings doxology in parts. Curtain.

The whole universe is a contest between what we call Life and Death, that is, motion and rest. Every THING will eventually come to rest and other things be evolved. Given eternity and it is easily conceivable that a world will die and be resolved into its elements, what then is so objectionable in the thought of a FINAL death to the individual whose life is but a flash as compared with all time? You cannot logically think the persistence of personality.