DE ROMANCE OF POMPIER NOMBRE TREE
Long tam ago, when I’m de young feller, I’m work on de Fire Stashun. I’m pompier on Depôt Nombre Tree on de Faubourg Quebec. I’m strong lak a beef dose tam, and doant afraid of notting.
Well, perhaps I have fear for wan ting; yes, fer sure, I have much afraid of de ole notaire Leblanc, not fer de raison dat he is more strong as me,—no ba gosh, I’m ver sure I’m give it wan ponch she’s die right away,—but I’m fear fer de raison dat she is de fadder of ma belle petite Antoinette.
Ver well, I recollec wat Antoinette lok lak on dat tam. Bagosh I nevare see de beauty wan lak it. Fer sure she is de bess wan I doan’t care; juce lak wot you call hangel.
Dats twenty year ago. Now she is big as two hunner pound and he have de gray hairs on its head; but she’s de good wan fer me an I can recommember ver well when she is de little ting, belle comme une ange an can mek de dance lak fairy girl.
I’m ver fond of dat little Antoinette fer sure, but de ole man Leblanc she’s not lak me ver much. I’m only Pompier on Nombre Tree: an when one tam she’s see me kiss it several tam de little Antoinette on de passage she’s get so mad lak a bull, an trow me off on de house an tell me go pass on de street an doan’t come back some more. An Antoinette she’s cry lak baby.
Fer sure dats de bad affaire fer me.
I’m ver mad fer de ole man Leblanc, an I’m go on lovin dat little Antoinette juce lak crazy mans. I can’t eat, I can’t slip, I can’t do notting fer tink about dat little Antoinette.
After dat of course I see some tam de little Antoinette, on de sly, an de more I’m see de more I’m crazy; an I tink she’s lak me purty well too.
One time I speak fer mek de ronne away marriage, but she doan’t lek fer do dat; she have only seventeen year an me I have twenty year.
But by me by I have de gran eeday fer finish up de hole affaire. I’m work on de hook an ladder dat tam. I mek de bargaine wit de little Antoinette fer little fire on its house so I can save its life juce fer fun. Ba gosh I’m de most foolishness young feller on the whole Faubourg Quebec, but de poor little Antoinette she doan’t fine dat foolish. She tink dat’s de grande eeday an ver romantique.
Well, I fix hup de hole affaire an de night an de hour arrive fer de fire on de house of de old Notaire Leblanc. Fer sure I’m ver excite dat night. De hour come. Ten o’clocks.
I’m walkin up an down an walkin up an down an look de gong, and expec effery minute she’s goin fer ring, gong! gong!! No ba gosh she doan’t ring anny.
Five minute, ten minute, fifteen minute ronne away on de clock an den I get ver quiet, ver tranquil, fer I tink someting have arreeve so she can’t mek de fire.
Twenty minute pass, twenty-fy minute pass, haff pass ten an den, Oh mon Dieu wot’s dat? De gong!! she’s sound bang! Dong! Dong, Dong, Dong, Dong. Dat’s de nombre. Sapristi! I tink my hart’s goin fur burss wide open.
I’m excite, I’m excite. Hurrah! hurrah!! de hors come out, de door fly opeen, so slow, so slow. I nevare see de like before. I yell lak tiger on de driver, “Lick de hors Alphonse, lick de horse.” I’m hole on de side de hook an ladder an yell, an yell, an yell like hell. I tink we nevare get dere, an, Saint Esprit! when we do get dere I wish we have never get dere. Wot do I see? Mon Dieu! de hole house of de ole Notaire Leblanc en feu, de flame high on de sky, de smoke so much you can see notting; de crowd tick like fly, an yell, an yell.
Wot has arreeve dat night I can’t tell; only wan ting, wan ting, juce de wan ting dats mek me mad, mek me crazy, mek me tiger, mek me devil.
Wot I’m care fer de house Leblanc? All I can hear is dat de poor little Antoinette he is in de house. I rosh on de house, I doan’t hear some ting, I doan’t see some ting, I doan’t feel some ting. Wot I’m do I nevare can tell. I know only dat I fine de little Antoinette, my Antoinette, perhaps ded an hang out de window on de top storee an no way fer pass back de way I come. But de boys on de hook an ladder, dey doan’t wait long; de ladder she’s dere so close I can touch wid one han.
I’m strong lak a beef dose tam, but when I tek de little Antoinette on one harm an reach fer de ladder, hot lak a furnace, an swing masef an de little Antoinette out de window I know den I’m strong, strong lak twenty plow hors.
An den I know notting fer tree day, an when I’m ope de eye I’m in de osspital an cover all over wit bandage; an de firs ting I see is de little Antoinette sit dere on side ma bed an look me wid wet on his eye—
Oh, bagosh!! I tell you dis little histoire, but you bet my life de ole man Leblanc when he’s die she doan’t know yet why his house took on fire. De fire fer joke is fer sure no joke, an de old man Leblanc she doan’t like joke annyway.
Buy not futures, whether of this world or the next.
Being a square plug, if thou findest thyself in a round hole, alter the hole.