WOMAN—AND HER INFINITE VARIETY
(A LEAF FROM ADAM'S DICTIONARY.)
WOMAN—A divine creation for the comfort and amusement of mankind.
RIB—That part of man's self of which he thinks the least and brags the most.
WIFE (The Inferior Fraction)—The excuse for all a man's sins, the cause of all his failings, the keeper of his conscience, the guardian of his digestion, and the repository of his grouches.
BETTER-HALF—The half that is always left at home.
COQUETTE—Any woman who is so unreasonable as not to return a man's affections.
FLIRT—Any woman, over whom a man has insisted on making a fool of himself.
OLD MAID—An unmarried woman with more wrinkles than money.
BACHELOR GIRL—An unmarried woman with more money than wrinkles.
KITTEN—Any woman under sixty for whom a man feels a temporary tenderness.
QUEEN—A pretty woman whom a man has not yet kissed.
"IDEAL"—The particular woman, to whom a man happens to be making love.
CLINGING VINE—A woman who allows her husband to think that he is having his own way.
HELPMATE—A combination of playmate, soul-mate, and light-running domestic.
GODDESS—An impossible woman, who exists only in novels and in a man's imagination.
PARAGON—The kind of woman a man ought to marry, wants to marry, intends to marry—and never does.
PESSIMISM IS A MAN'S NATURAL REACTION AFTER TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING—WINE, LOVE, FOOD, FLIRTATION OR OPTIMISM |
