AUNTY PUZZLED.

Characters:

Aunt.

Now, Beth, this is the Sabbath day, and—

Niece. How do you know it is?

A. It is wrong to play to-day, Beth—

N. Wrong to play what?

A. Anything.

N. Tain’t wrong to play Sunday-school. Didn’t you wish dat Carlo was me when you was whippin’ him, jest now, Aunt Dora?

A. Beth, I’ll tell you a beautiful story, the tender story of Joseph.

N. Joseph who?

A. He had no other name.

N. Well, dat’s funny.

A. Joseph was the son of a good old man, named Jacob—

N. I knows him, he saws our wood, an’ he’s dot a wooden leg! What was his last name?

A. I don’t know, dear.

N. Well, dat’s ze same man. Our Jacob he ain’t dot no ozzer name, either: des Jacob, old Jacob.

A. This good old man had twelve sons.

N. Any little girls?

A. Only one.

N. Huh! I dess she was mighty sorry wiz such a houseful of boys an’ no little sister.

A. Well, Jacob loved this son very much—

N. How much?

A. Oh, ever so much; more than he could tell.

N. Ten hundred thousand bushels?

A. Yes, and more than that. He bought him a new coat—

N. May Crawford’s dot a new dress, dray and blue, an’ pearl buttons on it, an’ a new parasol, and I’m doing to have some new button shoes as twick as I can kick zese ones out.

A. His father bought him a new coat, a beautiful coat of many colors—

N. Oh, ho! des like a bed quilt.

A. And Joseph was very proud of this pretty coat—

N. Huh! I bet you ze boys frowed stones an’ hollered at him if he wored it to school!

A. But his brothers, all of his older brothers, who—

N. Did he wear it to school, Aunt Dora?

A. No, I don’t think he did.

N. I dess he was afraid, and kept it for a Sunday coat. Did he wear it to Sunday school?

A. He didn’t go to one.

N. Den he was a heathen.

A. No, Joseph wasn’t a heathen.

N. Den he was a bad boy.

A. No, indeed; Joseph was a good boy—

N. Den why didn’t he go to Sunday-school?

A. No matter. But all his brothers hated him because his father loved him the best and—

N. I spect he always dot the biggest piece of pie.

A. And so they wanted to get rid of him, because—

N. Den why didn’t zey send him out in the kitchen to talk with Jenny? Dat’s what my ma’am does.

A. And they hated him all the more because one night, Joseph had a dream—

N. Oo-oo! I dreamed dot ze big Bible on ze parlor had five long legs and a mouf full of sharp teeth, an’ it climbed onto my bed and drowled at me ’cause I bit ze wax apple an’ tied gran’pa’s wig onto Carlo’s head last Sunday! Oh, I was so scared an’ I hollered an’ ma’am said she dessed I had ze nightmare.

A. Well, one day Joseph’s father sent him away to see how his brothers were getting along—

N. Why didn’t he write ’em a letter?

A. And when they saw Joseph coming they said—

N. Did he ride in ze cars?

A. No, he walked. And when his brothers saw him coming—

N. I dess they fought he was a tramp. I bet you Carlo would have bited his legs if he’d been zere.

A. No, they knew who he was, but they were bad, cruel, wicked men, and they took poor Joseph, who was so good, and who loved them all so well—

N. I see a boy climbing our fence! I dess he’s goin’ to steal our apples. Let’s go sic Carlo on him.

A. Poor Joseph, who was only a boy, just a little boy, who never did any one any harm; these great rough men seized him with fierce looks and angry words, and they were going to kill the frightened, helpless little youth, who cried and begged them so piteously not to hurt him; going to kill their own little brother—

N. Nellie Taylor has a little brother Jim, an’ she says she wishes somebody would kill him when he tears off her doll’s legs an’ frows her kittens in ze cistern.

A. But Joseph’s oldest brother pitied the little boy when he cried—

N. I dess he wanted some cake; I cry when I want cake, an’ mamma dives me some.

A. And as he wouldn’t let them kill him, they found a pit—

N. I like peach pits, an’ I know where I can find a great lot of ’em now. Come along.

A. No, let’s finish the story first. These bad men put Joseph in the pit—

N. Why—Aunt—Dora! What is you talking about?

A. About those cruel men who put Joseph into the pit—

N. I dess you mean zey put the pit into Joseph.

A. So there the poor little boy was, all alone in this deep, dark hole—

N. Why didn’t he climb out?

A. Because he couldn’t. The sides of the pit were rough, and it was very deep, deep as a well—

N. Ding-dong-dell, cat’s in ’e well; oh auntie, I know a nice story, ’bout a boy that felled into a cistern and climbed out on a ladder.

A. Poor Joseph was sitting in this pit—

N. Did he have a chair?

A. No, he was sitting on the ground, wishing—

N. I wish I was a bumble bee an’ could stand on my head like a boy, an’ have all ze honey I could eat.

A. But while Joseph was in the dark pit, frightened and crying all alone—

N. I bet he was afraid of ghosts!

A. While he was wondering if his cruel brothers were going to leave him in the dark pit, some merchants came along, and Joseph’s brothers took him out of the pit and sold him for a slave. Just think of it. Sold their little brother to be a slave in a country far away from his home, where he would have to work hard and where his cruel master would beat him; where—

N. What did zey get for him, Aunt Dora?

A. Twenty pieces of silver, and now—

N. Hump, dat was pitty cheap, but, I spec’ it was all that he was worth.