MR. CROSS AND SERVANT JOHN.
Mr. Cross. Why do you keep me knocking all day at the door?
John. I was at work, sir, in the garden. As soon as I heard your knock, I ran to open the door with such haste that I fell down and hurt myself.
Mr. C. Why didn’t you leave the door open?
John. Why, sir, you scolded me yesterday because I did so. When the door is open, you scold; when it is shut, you scold. I should like to know what to do?
Mr. C. What to do? What to do, did you say?
John. I said it. Shall I leave the door open?
Mr. C. No. I tell you, no!
John. Shall I keep the door shut?
Mr. C. Shall you keep the door shut? No, I say.
John. But, sir, a door must be either open or——
Mr. C. Don’t presume to argue with me, fellow!
John. But doesn’t it hold to reason that a door——
Mr. C. Silence, I say. Hold your tongue!
John. And I say that a door must be either open or shut. Now, how will you have it?
Mr. C. I have told you a thousand times, you provoking fellow—I have told you that I wished it—— But what do you mean by cross-questioning me, sir? Have you trimmed the grape-vine, as I ordered you?
John. I did that three days ago, sir.
Mr. C. Have you washed the carriage? Eh?
John. I washed it before breakfast, sir, as usual.
Mr. C. You haven’t watered the horses to-day!
John. Go and see, sir, if you can make them drink any more. They have had their fill.
Mr. C. Have you given them their oats?
John. Ask William; he saw me do it.
Mr. C. But you have forgotten to take the mare to be shod. Ah! I have you now!
John. I have the blacksmith’s bill here.
Mr. C. My letters!—Did you take them to the post-office? Ha! You forgot, did you?
John. I forgot nothing, sir. The letters were in the mail ten minutes after you handed them to me.
Mr. C. How often have I told you not to scrape on that abominable violin of yours? And yet this very morning——
John. This morning? You forget, sir. You broke the violin all to pieces for me last Saturday night.
Mr. C. I’m glad of it! Come, now; that wood which I told you to saw and put into the shed—why is it not done? Answer me!
John. The wood is all sawed, split, and housed, sir; besides doing that, I have watered all the trees in the garden, dug over three of the beds, and was digging another when you knocked.
Mr. C. Oh, I must get rid of this fellow! He will plague my life out of me. Out of my sight, sir! (John rushes out.)