IX
The sowing of seed upon a course may seem a dull business, and the average golfer leaves the consideration of all such matters to those whose duty it is to attend to them, and contents himself with his play on the resulting turf; but in this indifference he misses much that is interesting, and occasionally some most pleasant humours, as witness the true story of what happened on a suburban links. A very thorough club manager had bought many bags of two different kinds of seed, which were to be used by an intelligent workman for the benefit of the course, according to a scheme already devised and discussed. One kind of seed was that which would produce long, thick grass of a very coarse character, and which would grow with big and almost indestructible roots under the very worst of circumstances. It was intended that this should be sown under the many trees that abounded on the course. It was not only to be grass that would thrive under the most disadvantageous circumstances, but it was meant also to be “rough,” which might some day do something to stimulate the power of language among those golfers who just now might play from underneath the branches of those trees with their putters. The other seed was that which would make grass of the very finest texture. It needed a delicate, well-groomed soil for its sustenance, and its prime object was to produce putting greens that would give great joy to golfers on their game.
So the contents of some bags were to be scattered underneath the trees, and the contents of the others were to be spread over the putting greens, and the manager rested and refreshed himself with tea while this, as he thought, was being done, and he talked pleasantly to me of the various excellences of the course and the way in which difficulties of soil and situation had been conquered. And then there broke in upon us an emissary from the man who had been sowing the seed, who came to say, “Please, sir, there’s been a sort of accident happened, and it’s like as William has been and mistaken and gone and planted the putting green seed under them trees, and he’s planted the seed as’ll make the long grass on some of the putting greens. And we want to know, sir, what we must do!” What, indeed?