THE MAD GRANDPAPA.
Charley, if I call you twice,
I shall box your ears!
Grandpapa has something nice
In the shape of good advice
For his little dears:
Simple maxims for the young.
Mary, will you hold your tongue?
ISTEN, little girls and boys;
Listen, one and all!
Put away those nasty toys—
Mary, hold that horrid noise—
Willy, drop your ball!
Come and listen, if you can.
To a bald but good old man.
Folks will teach you when at school
"Never tell a lie!"
Nonsense: if you 're not a fool
You may always break the rule,
But you must be sly;
For they'll whip you, past a doubt,
If they ever find you out.
"Little boys," they say, "should be
Seen but never heard!"
Rubbish: what can people see
In an ugly brat if he
Never says a word?
Talk, then, if you feel inclin'd;
Talking shows the active mind.
Folks will tell you, "Children must
Do as they are bid
But you understand, I trust,
That the rule is quite unjust
To a thoughtful kid:
For, if once brute force appears.
How about Free-will, my dears?
Folks say, "Children should not let
Angry passions rise."
Humbug! When you 're in a pet
Why on earth should you regret
Blacking some one's eyes?
Children's eyes are made, in fact,
Just on purpose to be black'd.
I, when young, was green enough
Blindly to obey
All the idiotic stuff
That an old pedantic muff
Taught me day by day;—
And, you see—at eighty-five
I'm the biggest fool alive!