CHAPTER II
Breakfast and Dinner on the Same Day
Lively Coffee—Eleven O’clock Breakfast on the Prairies—Appetizers Wasted—Music by the Band—The National Hymn and Its Composer—Laying up for a Rainy Season—The Banquet at Hotel Centrál—Menu Translated—Musical Program—Speeches by Experts; One out of Place and One out of Sight—Mixing Wines—Nightcaps at the Club—Too much Dining.
On Wednesday we awoke fully fledged members of the $25,000 Pan-American Medical Congress, wondering if from a scientific and assimilative point of view we should be able to accomplish all that the occasion called for.
It was lively at coffee. Several doctresses and doctors’ wives were present and they, as well as some of the doctors who had always been accustomed to eating in the morning, had to be instructed in the art of early fasting; and the poor waiters had to be protected from them. After finding out that nothing but unsweetened oranges, water rolls and bitter coffee with milk were allowed, one lady wanted water in her coffee, another wanted cream, another could not take milk in any form, another wanted tea, jelly, etc., etc. To be served bitter coffee without cream, and to be offered nothing to eat but cold dry water rolls and orange juice, was already enough to condemn the hotel and the country. The ladies wished they were home where they could have ham and eggs and fried potatoes, corn muffins and watered coffee weakened with cream. The practice of every-day patriotism should begin with breakfast.
“Well! I can’t talk all morning in congress on an empty stomach,” said one of the lady doctors.
“This is terrible,” sighed a doctor’s wife. “I have to eat to maintain my health and strength.”
“How can you, when you haven’t any health and strength?” said her husband.
“When I eat I believe in having something to chew on,” said a stomach specialist.
“It is terrible to have to fast when you want your breakfast,” sighed the doctor’s wife.
“It’s foolish to want your breakfast when you have to fast,” said her husband. “When you are in Rome, do——”
“If I could only speak Spanish like a man, I’d stir things up here,” said she.
“If I could only talk like a woman, so would I; but I’m only a man,” said he.
Upon this one of the doctors stood up and said that he had quite enjoyed his milk-coffee, water rolls and tongue sandwiches. The ladies looked about the room in search of the sandwiches while the men smiled and left the table, declaring that they also had enjoyed them, particularly the sandwiches.
At eight o’clock cabs drove up and took us to the sabanas over the same route that I had gone on New Year’s day. But it was not a holiday and the natives were not exhibiting themselves, and the drive was not very interesting. We stopped at the Country Club grounds, which were not as attractive as those of Señor Arango’s place that I had visited, but were much larger and had a roomy two-story frame house with a veranda all around it wide enough to serve us as a dining-room. The club superintended the preparations, although the Washington Hotel of Colón had a contract for the provisions. Hence the provisions were plentiful and the service unexceptionable.
The day was pleasant and cool for Panama, and quite endurable in the early morning. We wandered about the grounds for a while examining the tropical trees and telling each other all about them. Then we took photographs of ourselves under trees and talked and watched the preparations for the breakfast on the veranda. Some one asked me to go up and look at the house. I did so but only got as far as the veranda, for I noticed a corner room opening on it that was crowded with fellow congresistas; and after I had succeeded in crowding in saw what would have made Milwaukee and Louisville glad at heart if they had been there. But neither of them were there in the flesh. There was beer, whiskey and White Rock water enough to overcome the drouth of a German regiment or the American army. It seemed a pity that some one from Milwaukee was not there to help us out, for there was a heaping hogshead full of Blue Label beer in quart bottles, and not a bottle was opened that day; there were two hundred bottles of White Rock water, and only fifty were opened; there were a dozen quart bottles of whiskey and only ten were drunk.
CLUB HOUSE ON THE SABANAS
Table Being Set for Our Banquet Breakfast
Santos Jorge’s band of thirty vigorous music-makers was there to give tone and tune to the occasion and did its best to rouse up and intoxicate us with martial and patriotic pieces played at frequent intervals. Mr. Santos Jorge, who was the leader of the band and the almost constant companion of the medical congressmen, was the most prominent musician in the republic. He had been in Panama thirteen years and was the director of the Panama Conservatory of Music. He had been a student of the Madrid Conservatory and took a prize when he graduated. The Himno Istmeno, or Panama National Hymn, is one of his compositions and seemed to compare favorably with the national airs of other countries. His band was made up of whites, negroes and half-breeds, who were all well trained and played well, although a trifle too staccato and fortissimo for our anti-emotional Anglo-Saxon temperament.
As the slight effect of the early coffee and rolls upon our premature emptiness had worn off by ten o’clock, and there were no more trees or houses on the place to explain and explore, and no new subjects for conversation, we hovered around the veranda listening to music and drinking White Rock for an appetite. After having our official picture taken for the benefit of medical history, we sat down to breakfast.
The tables were spread for a hundred and there were only about forty of us, including Panamanians; but as our emptiness grew our courage developed, and each of us laid up enough for a rainy day. The difference between this breakfast, sent by the Washington Hotel from Colón, and the cold bread and bitter coffee breakfast eaten and execrated at the Hotel Centrál a few hours before, was freely expressed in feminine English, which was loud in praise of Washington and in condemnation of Gran Centrál.
We returned to Panama at two o’clock, and occupied our time from three to six with the reading and discussion of monographs on surgery and gynecology, to the great satisfaction and entertainment of the readers and talkers.
THE CONGRESS WAITING FOR LUNCH
At half past seven o’clock we gathered in the large parlor of Hotel Centrál and waited impatiently for the signal to descend to the banquet. We had eaten enough at eleven o’clock to nourish us for two or more days, and were now to eat enough for four or more days, since the menu was twice as elaborate. But we remembered that many stomachs are ruined by dieting, and resolved not to be ruined in that way. I give a translation with this menu for the benefit of those who have no dictionary, and no objection.
| MENU. | ||
| HORS D’ŒUVRES. | ||
| Olives. | Jambon. | Canapés de Caviar. |
| POTAGE. | ||
| Consommé Sevigné. | ||
| POISSON. | ||
| Corbina à la Trouville. | ||
| ENTRÉES. | ||
| Vol au Vent Richelieu. | Filét Piqué à la Parisienne. | |
| PIÈCE FROIDE. | ||
| Aspic de Foie—Gras Bellevue. | ||
| LEGUMES. | ||
| Asperges—Sauce Mousseline. | ||
| RÔTI. | ||
| Lindonneau à la Broche. | Salade de Saison. | |
| DESSERT. | ||
| Glacé Marie Louise. | Petits Fours. | Pièce Montée |
| VINS. | ||
| Xeres. | Chateau La Tour Blanche. | Chablis. Margaux. |
| Corton. | Pommard. | |
| CHAMPAGNES. | ||
| G. H. Mumm. | Moet et Chandon. | |
| TRANSLATION OF MENU. | ||
| EXTRA WORK. | ||
| Olives. | Goodleg. | Sofas of Caviar. |
| POTTAGE. | ||
| Accomplished Sevigné. | ||
| POISON. | ||
| Crow à la Trouville. | ||
| ENTRIES. | ||
| Fly-away Richelieu. | Quilted Thread à la Paris-woman. | |
| COLD PIECE. | ||
| Asp Liver—Fleshy Fineview. | ||
| LEGGINS. | ||
| Saucy Aspersions Of Muslin. | ||
| ROT. | ||
| London Water à la Spit | Salad of the Seasons. | |
| DISSERTATION. | ||
| Frosted Marie Louise. | Small Furnaces. | Mounted Play. |
| WINES. | ||
| Xerxes. | Catwater of White Tower. | Cat Bliss. |
| Magpies. | Courting. | Pomade. |
| SHAM PAINS. | ||
| G. H. Mummy. | Mouth and Chindown. |
After seeing the bill of fare thus exposed in plain English the reader will realize what an abomination such banquets are, and why the French language is used to express and extenuate them.
The musical program was well selected and well executed, and deserved to be recorded. The musicians played with great spirit and helped the blood to the brain and the word to the tongue much better than the eight brands of wine and fourteen varieties of food.
PROGRAMA.
QUE EJECUTARÁ LA BANDA REPUBLICANA.
| Himno Istmeno, | S. Jorge A. |
| Vals—“Red, White and Blue.” “On American Airs,” | Tovani. |
| Sinfonia—“Naiade,” | C. Carlini. |
| “Ramona” Two-Step, | Johnson. |
| Mazurka—“Feliz Año,” | Jean Oliver. |
| Vals—“Amoureuse,” | Berger. |
| Scena e Duetto nell’ Opera Rigoletto, | Verdi. |
| Two-Step—“Yankee Girl,” | Lampe. |
| Vals—“Les Patineurs,” | Waldteufel. |
| Selections from “The Prince of Pilsen,” | Luders. |
| “American Guard” Quickstep, | Brooks. |
| “Quartetto di Concerto,” | Perolini. |
El Director,
Santos Jorge A.
President Amador and the high functionaries of state were there to encourage us in our efforts to do justice to what was spread before us, and Mrs. Amador and other first ladies of the land were there to inspire the speakers.
Speeches were made by President Icaza, U. S. Minister Barrett, the Panamanian Treasurer, the Minister of War, Doctor Brower, Doctor Senn, and others whose names I did not learn, each in his own language and each one creditable to the speaker and to his country. In order to give a semblance of spontaneity to the speeches, each speaker had a number given him, and when a speaker had spoken and the band had played, the one with the next number would stand up unannounced and speak as if inspired by the preceding speaker and by the occasion. This would have worked charmingly had not the crowd called upon an extra speaker early in the evening. Doctor Brower, whose medieval ancestors had been subject to Spanish rule, and who inherited the temperament of a Spaniard and the physique of two Spaniards, did not understand Spanish. He, therefore, did not know that an extra man without a number had spoken. So he mistook his count and arose a number ahead of his turn, and ahead of the speaker whom he was to have followed, and whose speech was supposed to inspire his. But the doctor was equal to the occasion and spoke with as much eloquence as if his speech was in place, and as if people knew who he was and what he said. His speech elicited much applause, particularly from the highest ladies of the land and others who did not understand English. It was one of the best speeches of the evening, only it was out of place.
But the speech of the evening was that of Minister Barrett, who, I suppose, never was, and never will be, a minister of the gospel; he is in politics. His speech was full of wit, satire and good-natured banter, delivered in a full-chested baritone voice, and made one think that to hear a good after-dinner speech was worth a bad attack of matutinal indigestion.
The serving at table was quite rapid and satisfactory except that some of the many different kinds of wine looked alike, and tasted quite unlike, and the waiters mixed them up as they went around filling partially emptied glasses. The result was disastrous to the nerves of such connoisseurs as we all were. But in consequence of rapid serving and short speeches, the entertainment was over in time for the guests to go over to the clubs in their cocktail coats, and have more refreshments and a few straight nightcaps to settle the blended wines, and thus oblige no one to get into one of those hotel beds until his mind at least was properly made up.
Just what kind of water the Panamanians offered the Panamericans, and just what the Panamericans accepted from the Panamanians, I can not say from observation, but I know that the Panamanians offered generously and that the Panamericans were kindly disposed to do their duty. “New occasions teach new duties,” as Lowell said. Feasts are better than fevers and postprandials preferable to postmortems, was the concensus of the congress.
Having two more banquets to contend with during the following twenty-four hours, as well as a short scientific session to keep awake at, I sneaked off to bed when others went to the clubs, remembering the proverb that “He who eats and runs away may live to eat some other day,” and hoped they were as happy as they thought they were.
During these two days they dined and dinned us without intermission. Eating and drinking to the strains of stirring music occupied most of our time and attention outside of the scientific meetings, and it became necessary to give more thought to the filling of our stomachs at table than to the unloading of our minds upon the congress. Indeed, it was difficult to enjoy the scientific meetings when the energies were so heavily taxed with gastric and gustatory functions. If we had not had so many good times we should have enjoyed the meeting more.