THE FALSE HEART
I said to Heart, “How goes it?” Heart replied:
“Right as a Ribstone Pippin!” But it lied.
A critic said large margins did not please him,
I therefore printed just two lines, to tease him.
And if he still complains of what I’ve done,
In my next book I’ll fill a page with ONE.
SONNET UPON GOD, THE WINE
GIVER
(For Easter Sunday)
Thought Man made wine, I think God made it, too;
God making all things, made Man made good wine.
He taught him how the little tendrils twine
About the stakes of labor close and true.
Then next, with intimate prophetic laughter,
He taught the Man, in His own image blest,
To pluck and wagon and to—all the rest!
To tread the grape and work his vintage after.
So did God make us, making good wine makers;
So did He order us to rule the field
And now by God are we not only bakers;
But winners also sacraments to yield;
Yet most of all strong lovers, Praised be God!
Who taught us how the wine-press should be trod!
THE POLITICIAN
OR THE IRISH EARLDOM
A strong and striking Personality,
Worth several hundred thousand pounds—
Of strict political Morality—
Was walking in his park-like Grounds;
When, just as these began to pall on him
(I mean the Trees, and Things like that),
A Person who had come to call on him
Approached him, taking off his Hat.
He said, with singular veracity:
“I serve our Sea-girt Mother-Land
In no conspicuous capacity.
I am but an Attorney; and
I do a little elementary
Negotiation, now and then,
As Agent for a Parliamentary
Division of the Town of N....
“Merely as one of the Electorate—
A member of the Commonweal—
Before completing my Directorate,
I want to know the way you feel
On matters more or less debatable;
As—whether our Imperial Pride
Can treat as taxable or rateable
The Gardens of ...” His host replied:
“The Ravages of Inebriety
(Alas! increasing day by day!)
Are undermining all Society.
I do not hesitate to say
My country squanders her abilities,
Observe how Montenegro treats
Her Educational Facilities....
... As to the African defeats,
“I bitterly deplored their frequency;
On Canada we are agreed,
The Laws protecting Public Decency
Are very, very lax indeed!
The Views of most of the Nobility
Are very much the same as mine,
On Thingumbob’s eligibility ...
I trust that you remain to dine?”
His Lordship pressed with importunity,
As rarely he had pressed before.
It gave them both an opportunity
To know each other’s value more.