RESURRECTION OF EPHRUM WAY
Old Uncle Ephrum Isaac Way
—He had a fit the other day.
A sort of capuluptic spell;
He hasn’t been in no ways well
Since year ago come next July;
He had a sunstroke; come blamed nigh
To passin’ ’crost. And since, for him,
The poor old man’s been dretful slim.
And ’twarn’t surprisin’ none, I say,
That fit of his the other day.
By time that Dr. Blaisdell come
His legs and arms had growed all numb.
He didn’t sense things source at all,
His lower jaw commenced to fall,
And, jedged from looks, there warn’t no doubt
That Ephrum’s soul was passin’ out.
Fact is, they thought that he was dead;
They tied the bandage round his head,
Laid out his shroud—when first they knew,
Eph kicked awhile and then come to;
Got up and stared with all his eyes,
And said, “Why, this ain’t Paradise!
Gol durn the luck, they let me in;
Now here I’m back on earth agin.
I’ve been to Heaven! I’ve been dead,
I’ve seen it All,” so Ephrum said.
And while we gathered round with awe
He told us all the things he saw.
And while he yarned that tale of Death
The parson came, all out of breath,
Exclaiming o ’er and o ’er again,
“A vision! Wondrous! Blest of men!”
And asked, “Oh, tell us, Mr. Way,
How long were you allowed to stay?”
And then the crowd hung breathless round
A-harkin’ until Ephrum found
Some sort of language in his reach,
—For he was sort of dull in speech.
“Wal, friends,” he slowly said at last,
“I ricolleet that when I passed
The pearly gates and sills of gold
And see that blessed sight unfold
Before my dim old hazy eyes,
I got a shock of such surprise
I couldn’t move,—I couldn’t speak,
—Jest run my tongue down in my cheek
And sort of numbly pronged and pried
The chaw I took before I died.
—That’s been my habit all my days;
When I am nervous anyways
I don’t fly all to gosh. Instid
I simply, calmly shift my quid.
But jest as I had rolled her ’crost—
Wal, suthin’ dropped and I was lost.
And all of Heaven, friends, I saw
Was while I shifted that air chaw.”
I think, dear sir, I scarce need add
That seldom do you see so glad
A resurrection time as they
Who stood there gave old Ephrum Way.
The parson first he tried to screw
His face up solemn, but that crew
Broke out and howled like they was daft.
And so he laughed and laughed and laughed.