APPENDIX.
[From the Boston Medical and Surgical Journal for November 1, 1866.]
“WHY NOT? A BOOK FOR EVERY WOMAN.”
A WOMAN’S VIEW.[46]
The light in which a subject presents itself depends very much upon the standpoint from which we view it. Dr. Storer’s arguments and statements are earnest, conscientious and powerful; but women, the chief players in this tragedy of life, feel that while the facts are in possession of medical men, their motives are not so well known and appreciated. Often they are of such a character as may not be repeated, even to the long-tried and trusted physician; for there are certain things of too painfully delicate a nature for woman’s lips to utter to a masculine ear, while to a sister sympathizer, perhaps, the whole story is freely poured out.
Abortion is fearfully frequent, even more so than Dr. Storer has assumed, and is rapidly increasing. One great reason of the aversion to child-bearing is the thousand disagreeable and painful experiences which attend the long months of patient waiting, and the certain agony at the end—agony which is akin to nothing else on earth—agony which the tenderest susceptibilities and sympathies of the noblest physician can but faintly imagine—agony which, in not one case in a hundred, is mitigated by anæsthesia. If the blessed, benevolent suggestion of the general use of chloroform could be adopted, the world would hear less of abortions. The thousand times reiterated fact, that “it is a woman’s duty to suffer this,” and that it is “the end to which she was created,” is but sorry comfort in the hour of her anguish, and such injunctions will, of themselves, never work reformation.
It is a suggestive fact that it is not young wives, but mothers, who most frequently procure abortion; women of mature years, who know what they are doing, and the danger before them. That they are guilty of taking life is not generally understood (that there is life actually existing at the time the bud is blighted), but that the essential principle, which, under favoring circumstances, might at some distant day produce life, is removed.
It is not strange that women of delicate organization shrink from suffering, and perhaps grow cowardly in the face of duty. Many is the intelligent woman, noble in all else, who says, consciously and deliberately, “I would rather die than pass through that agony again;” and, in such a frame of mind, how long would the prospect of feeble health at some distant day, weigh with the prospect of immediate suffering, almost, or quite to death? I do not say she is right. I only say she needs something else than censure.
The true and greatest cause of abortion is one hidden from the world, viz., unhappiness and want of consideration towards wives in the marriage relation, the more refined education of girls, and their subsequent revolting from the degradation of being a mere thing—an appendage. All the world knows that in this “age of progress” marriage is too often corrupted from a sanctuary of love and purity, to a convenience for revelling and grossness. Many is the intellectual, spiritual woman bound to such a condition, which she will not, for pride’s sake, or honor’s sake, report. Stung by disappointment, she rebels, and is perhaps told that marital rights are ordained of society and Heaven, and that she, knowing it, should not have come within their power. A very common argument, true within limits; but power does not necessarily imply right of abuse. She is, perhaps, on the way to motherhood, and with her feeble strength, depressed spirits, and waning ambition and courage, she needs sympathy, comfort, and encouragement. Surely her burden is heavy enough. But if she grieves or complains, she is perhaps confronted with the assertion that it is what she is made for; and with bitterness of heart and sorrow of soul, looking down through long weeks of heart-sickness and physical pain and unrest, to the dreaded, unknown crisis, to the after years of care, labor, and anxiety, and all to bear without hearty sympathy, what wonder that she is in despair, and little cares whether she live or die? Yet she must smile, and be cheerful to the world, and it never guesses all is not right at home. This is not fancy (would it were!), but veritable, everyday life. If she learns a way of escape, what wonder that she count herself happy to be rid of, not so much the pledge of a husband’s love, as of his selfishness, that has haunted her life! What wonder if she for a time forget her moral obligations in her extremity, and is indifferent to the life which is no longer a blessing! Remonstrance is met at home, perhaps with inattention, perhaps with blame. Remonstrance abroad is forbidden. Whither shall she turn? What is left but to bury her grief in her own heart, and live on as best she may? Deal tenderly with these stricken ones. Condemn them not utterly, for though they sin, they are sinned against. Don’t load them with all the guilt, for they are already overborne. Not that sin in one excuses sin in another, but it is harder to walk with a mountain in our way, than in a smooth, well-beaten path.
Dr. Storer says, if women would avoid consequences, they must make choice of time; but in the goodness and generosity of his heart, he fails to see that no choice is allowed them in many cases. They are not independent, but subject; and all teaching tends to keep them so. Here is just where the trouble begins. This is why they rebel. Save themselves from the cause they cannot. The consequence is mainly within their power, and the temptation is strong to throw off the bond which confines them to the fireside. Domestic and maternal duties and joys, in moderate degree, make women nobler and better; but do not for a moment imagine that an almost absolute imprisonment at home, for ten years or more, as is common, with finances ranging as they ordinarily do, can tend to make wives more intelligent, more companionable, more Christian, or more happy. It may be duty, but of the stamp unmingled with joy.
It is noticeable that happy wives, strong in the affectionate regard of considerate husbands, rarely attempt this violence. There is but one stronger element known to society than that of a true woman’s love for a worthy husband; one who is careful for her comfort and her preferences. It is generally admitted that women are not more selfish than men; that they are as ready to sacrifice comfort, to yield to inconvenience, as quick to appreciate consideration and to requite it, as men. Let such a woman, be she ever so slight and fragile, ever so much averse to motherhood, let her but be convinced that her husband would be happier with little voices singing in his home, and let him sustain her, and pity her, and she will bear it all, even to the end, cheerfully. No complaints will be heard, and the influence of that household will be pure.
Do not accuse me of justifying abortion, or of seeking to lay blame upon innocent shoulders. Abortion is a crime, and women are guilty of it, but they sin not alone. While attention is being called to the fact, why not also to the cause? Wives’ burdens are too heavy, as blanched cheeks and early graves continually testify,—and the more intelligent they are, the more they recoil in disgust from the life they are led; for, mark it, it is not the ignorant class who are guilty of procuring abortion.
But what shall we say for the unhappy, unfortunate women, by no means few or inferior, who are victims of selfish and gross husbands, who are allowed no choice of time or convenience, whose hearts ache with disappointment and degradation, who find the heaviest burdens of life heaped upon them without feeling, who go almost into the shadow of death, and yet return to make the pilgrimage again and again—what shall we say for them, if they do, in their desperation, find an escape from the consequences of what was unwillingly forced upon them? Will the Father of the sorrowful have no mercy on them? Surely they are in evil case, and their numbers are manifold. Thank God, there are yet some royal souls true to principle.
If Dr. Storer will perform as noble service for our brothers and husbands as for ourselves, and send the two books out hand in hand, they will bring him back a rich harvest of gratitude, and amendment in morals. Let women feel that they are honored and appreciated, really, for their worth, not for their convenience, and the mass will not attempt to defeat the purposes of their being. For those to whom fashion is god, I have not a word to offer. Let them plead for themselves.