INTRODUCTION
THE ANGUISH LANGUISH
English words are astonishingly versatile and could readily be made to serve a new and extraordinary purpose, but nobody seems to care about this except SPAL (Society for the Promotion of the Anguish Languish).[1] In keeping with its lofty ideals and its slogan, ANGUISH FOR EVERYBODY, the Society is sponsoring this little text, which has three aims:
1. To improve the public’s understanding of the Anguish Languish.
2. To improve the academic standing of the Anguish Languish.
3. To improve the social and financial standing of the Society.