A BOTTLE,

Two Calgary Girls–A Policeman–and the Boarding House Missus
By G. Brennand

SOME mixup–not the bottle and the girls, but the girls and the boardin’ house missus.

Miss “Joe” Hickey, who hails from Owen Sound, and Miss Irma Oliver, from the Gateway City, Winnipeg, came together in Mrs. Boyd’s invoice office. They decided to room together forever. If there is such a thing as two girls marrying–they married–and so one Wednesday afternoon they set out to seek lodging quarters. The first place they called, the woman looked them over and said, “Awa’ wi’ you! I’ll have no young and beautiful girls amucking up my parlor with their boy friends.” At the next place they were in luck. So the story goes, the boarding missus referred to above, welcomed them, welcomed them with the odor of Scotch and cloves.

They were to have the “two-room” suite in the attic, including use of the front “piazza.” Joe thought it was a cook stove and Irma giggled in delight; she thought it was a Christmas cake. So they moved in. As all “movings in” are dressed up by the imagination they were going to have such fun in this “dear” of a place–they talked of parties with coca-cola and everything!

Then they retired–poor Joe woke Irma up and said, “Did she (the woman of the Scotch and cloves) say this was a feather mattress?” Sleepily Irma said, “Yes.” Joe pushed Irma out on the floor. “You sleep there then, it’s my turn to sleep on the feathers.” In the morning, they broke the ice in the pitcher to get water. Irma said, “Not for me; ice baths may be well for Mrs. Blair, who has time to take ’em, but not for me, I’ve got that old card to punch!” With a dab here and a dab there of a little powder, they were away to work.

Coming home at night, bubbling over with anticipation and parcels oozing out of every pocket, they arrived in the “suite” with the piazza n’everything.

There on the mantel rested an empty Scotch bottle! Someone had removed the chair and the curtains. Evidently the bottle was left as payment. Poor Irma, through her tears, said, “Joe, this is no place for respectable folks, let’s move again.” The boarding house missus, who had been listening with her ear to the keyhole, tumbled in the door, for the lock was broken too, “I’ll hold your trunks,” and poor Irma blubbed, “When you button your coat your trunk is locked. So is mine. We’ll see if you will.” And away they went to the policeman on the corner. He said, “Go to the sergeant; I’ve troubles of my own.”

The sergeant said, “Pay your rent; then move.” And so they did! In the next episode of this serial, the young ladies, our heroines, are nestled peacefully in the folding bed that went with the Third Floor Back, in the Travers Block.

MRS. CLARKE, buyer of the ladies’ ready-to-wear, is at present in the East. She finds conditions there are a little difficult as to hotel accommodation. She has been able to pick up some very smart lines in coats, dresses and suits.

Mrs. Clarke writes that indications in New York point to a coat and dress season. Taffetas are also to be strongly represented.

IF ANY OF THE LADIES are in doubt as to the whereabouts of Joe Marsh at the dances we would advise them to look into the kitchen. No, Joe doesn’t stay there because he is tired–he’s fond of the lunch part of the dance.

CURLING has taken such a hold in the store that the fair sex are coming out at the next game with a couple of strong rinks. The girls have been reminded to get out the old style skirt and dig up their rubbers for the game.

WE ARE NOT GOING to mention any names, but we will say that she does the typing for our Associate Editor, and more than that, she is a real nice girl. The same girl wants to know why they turn out the lights for a moonlight waltz if they won’t allow you to get up just a little closer?

A HEATED DEBATE was started among the men on the sixth floor the other day, as to who is the most popular man in the store. After considerable argument, it was unanimously agreed that the porter who closes the windows at 5:20 was the lucky man. Ed. Note–(The Store closes at 5.30).

THERE’S A BIG WIDE SMILE wandering around in the wholesale tobacco department in these days, and if you should run up against it you’ll see behind it the happy face of Mr. Sadler.

Yes, sir, he’ll tell you, it’s the finest boy you ever saw, by heck, he’s so much like me you can’t tell us apart; furthermore, I’ve got money that says he’s the second 1921 baby in the Hudson’s Bay service, being born on January 10th last.

WE REGRET that Miss Finn and Mrs. Goodman of the ready-to-wear section are at present indisposed. Here’s hoping for their speedy recovery.

MONTREAL
H.B.C. Eastern Buying Agency News

MISS A. K. SMITH, of Vancouver, and Mr. W. G. Florence, of Edmonton, are again in Montreal. This time, however, their visit is merely a “stop over” as they are en route for Europe where they are purchasing, not only for their own branches, but also for the new Victoria Store, which is to open next summer. Mr. Florence tells us that he has been transferred to Victoria and will enter upon his new duties some time in June. He will take with him the very best wishes of the E.B.A. staff.

THE following shoe buyers, who have been attending the convention at Milwaukee, are again in Montreal: