V
When she rose to a realization of life again she was lying upon Lizzie's bed and the storm had broken over the house. Lizzie was holding her hand; the thunder roared. Coming with stealthy steps closer and closer, sometimes to creep stealthily away again, sometimes to break, with crashing splendour, upon their very heads.
The lightning flung Lizzie's bedroom into pale brilliance and was gone; Life leapt into vision, then surrendered to the candle flare, then leapt again.
Rachel smiled faintly. She felt around her and about her a great peace. She knew that all her terror had departed; her one thought now was to return to Roddy and tell him everything.
She sat up. "How silly of me to faint. It's a thing I've never done in my life. How did you get me here?"
"The maid and I carried you in. It's better for you in here."
"I think I'll go now, Lizzie dear."
"Wait a little while."
They stayed in silence. Then they heard the rain that lashed the windows.
"Isn't the rain terrific?... Oh! Lizzie, it's all gone, all the terror, all that awful fright." She added solemnly, "I don't believe I'll ever feel like that again. It'll never come back—I'm sure of it."
Rachel sat silently for a moment, then turned and buried her head in Lizzie's dress.
"Lizzie dear, I've been so frightened—of something else."
"Of what?"
"I'm going to have a child. I've known it for some time. At first I wasn't sure. Then I knew. I was frightened and miserable. Then, as with every day I seemed to grow fonder and fonder of Roddy I became glad about it. Then very happy——"
"Oh, Rachel dear, I'm so glad!"
"Yes. But now, with this, about Roddy it's all dreadful again. If he should turn on me now just when I've begun to care."
She sat up in bed, her eyes staring, her hands clutching the clothes.
"Lizzie, if it should come right!—if it should! Just think what a child would mean for him; he's so brave, lying there all day, making himself amused and interested. I watch him often and wonder where all that courage comes from. I couldn't have done it.... But now, if the child's a boy, he'll be able to put all his old strength and keenness into him—and the Place! Think what it will mean to him to have that!"
"And for you?" asked Lizzie.
"I believe it's what I've wanted. Oh! if only things are all right with Roddy, then I can start again and have some decent pride about it all. I've made such a mess of things so far."
They talked for a little. Then Rachel got up and dressed.
"I'm all right now. Everything seems to have cleared. I'll tell Roddy everything to-morrow, Lizzie dear."
"Come and see me as soon as ever you can, won't you?"
"I will."
Rachel said good night. She held Lizzie's shoulders.
"Lizzie, you're wonderful. Don't think I don't know how wonderful you are. I'll never forget what you've been to-night. And if it's all right to-morrow. Oh! I am going to be happy."
"That's all right," said Lizzie. "Don't go and get frightened again."
"I'll never be so frightened as I was to-night—never."
"I'm afraid you've got dreadfully wet," she said to the cabman.
"It don't matter, mum—but it does come down."
Lizzie stood in the doorway and waved her hand.
The rain slashed the panes and whipped the shining deserted streets. Very far away the faint whisper of thunder bade the town farewell.