THE
SPOIL’D CHILD,
A FARCE,
IN TWO ACTS,

As performed at the
Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.

THIS AUTHENTIC EDITION, NOW FIRST PUBLISHED, IS STRICTLY CONFORMABLE TO THE PROMPTER’s BOOK.

W. Powell, Prompter.

N. B. Whoever vends spurious Copies will be prosecuted.

LONDON:
PRINTED and PUBLISHED by BARKER and SON,
Dramatic Repository,
GREAT RUSSELL STREET, COVENT GARDEN.
1805.

[Price 1s. 6d.

PROLOGUE,
SPOKEN BY MRS. JORDAN.

Enters opening a Letter.

“Dear Madam—Disappointed by a friend—

“Promis’d a Prologue—at my poor wit’s end—

“Ruin’d—unless so good—your laughing way—

“T’ insinuate something for my luckless Play.”

Poor Devil! what a fright he’s in—but why—

Am I to help him—What can I supply?

I’m doom’d to speak but just what Authors say:

Dull, when they’re dull—and sportive when they’re gay;

Mere puppets here, obedient to their will,

We love or hate—are blest or wretched—kill’d or kill—

Mirth we put on, just as we put on graces—

And wit—that’s sent home ready with our dresses.

What, tho’ at night so very smart and charming—

The dullest mortals breathing, in the morning—

Hence the nice sop, ’ere he our merit stamps.

Of rouge all doubtful—and these treach’rous lamps,

Midst the loud praise, still asks with cautious leer

How is she off the stage—what is she near——

But to my talk—to own it tho’ you’re loath

You’re all spoilt children of a larger growth,

Longing for each poor tinsel’d toy you see,

And only constant to variety——

Whilst each, the censor of his own defects,

The darling fault with gentlest hand corrects;

E’en from his very failings draws a merit,

And dooms each error but a proof of spirit.

Look round the world——

When we say world—we mean not now-a days

A huge globe, form’d of mountains—rivers—seas—

The polish’d mind sinks from a scene so wide,

We mean from Hyde Park Corner to Cheapside——

Look thro’ the world—you’ll find my moral true

In all the varied shapes that rise to view.

But from spoilt children of six feet in height,

To the spoilt child our stage presents to-night,

Brimful of mirth he comes—Miss Tomboy’s brother,

We hope you’ll think they’re something like each other.

To plead his cause she’ll try a sister’s skill,

I’d fain prevent her—but, “ecod you will.”——

Perhaps she may shock you, of precise prim air,

But Lord! what then, she never minds that there.

The Country Girl a kindred tie may claim,

She too is anxious for his future fame;

And if you’ll spare him, swears whene’er she’s able

She’ll tread on all your toes—under the table.

Oft’ have you deign’d their artless toils to cheer,

And crown’d with flutt’ring smiles their labours, here

View then here the brother’s faults, with judgment mild,

And spare the rod—altho’ you Spoil the Child.

BARKER and SON

Respectfully inform the Public, they have a Collection of Plays on Sale, which, considered either as to its Extent or Rarity, has scarcely been equalled, having been upwards of Thirty Years in forming, principally from the Libraries of

—— SHELDON, ESQ. MAJOR PEARSON DR. WRIGHT MR. DODD MR. MACKLIN MR. HENDERSON DUKE OF BRIDGEWATER DR. FARMER G. STEVENS, ESQ. &c. &c. &c.

In this Assemblage will be found the original Editions of our most valuable Writers; as,

SHAKESPEARE JONSON CHAPMAN HEYWOOD MIDDLETON WEBSTER BEAUM. & FLETCHER MASSINGER SHIRLEY DAVENANT GLAPTHORNE KILLIGREW, &c. &c.

Subjoined to these, are the more modern Authors, to which every Article is added as soon as published.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

1790.1804.
Little Pickle,Mrs. Jordan.Miss De Camp.
Old Pickle,Mr. Suett.Mr. Suett.
Tagg,Mr. R. Palmer.Mr. Palmer.
John,Mr. Burton.Mr. Purser.
Thomas,Mr. Lyons.Mr. Evans.
Miss Pickle,Mrs. Hopkins.Mrs. Sparks.
Maria,Miss Heard.Mrs. Sharp.
Margery,Mrs. Booth.Mrs. Maddocks.
Susan,Mrs. Edwards.Miss Tidswell.

SCENE—Old Pickle’s Country House.

TIME—That of Representation.