The Power of Faith / Exemplified In The Life And Writings Of The Late Mrs. Isabella Graham.

by Isabella Graham

CHAPTER IX.

ORPHAN ASYLUM SOCIETY — FOREIGN MISSIONARIES — LETTERS.

ON the 15th of March, 1806, the female subscribers to proposals for providing an asylum for orphan children met at the City Hotel; Mrs. Graham was called to the chair, a society organized, and a board of direction chosen, Mrs. Hoffman was elected the first directress of the Orphan Asylum Society. Mrs. Graham continued in the office of first directress of the Widows' Society, but took a deep interest in the success of the Orphan Asylum also; she, or one of her family, taught the orphans daily, until the funds of the institution were sufficient to provide a teacher and superintendent. She was a trustee at the time of her decease. The wish to establish this new society was occasioned by the pain which it gave the ladies of the Widows' Society to behold a family of orphans driven, on the decease of a widow, to seek refuge in the almshouse; no melting heart to feel, no redeeming hand to rescue them from a situation so unpromising for mental and moral improvement.

"Among the afflicted of our suffering race," thus speaks the constitution of the society, "none makes a stronger or more impressive appeal to humanity than the destitute orphan. Crime has not been the cause of its misery, and future usefulness may yet be the result of its protection; the reverse is often the case of more aged objects. God himself has marked the fatherless as the peculiar subjects of his divine compassion. 'A

Father of the fatherless is God in his holy habitation,' 'When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.' To be the blessed instrument of, divine Providence in making good the promise of God, is a privilege equally desirable and honorable to the benevolent heart.'"

And truly God has made good his promise towards this benevolent institution. He has crowned the undertaking with his remarkable blessing. It was begun by his disciples in faith, and he has acknowledged them in it. Having for fourteen months occupied a hired house for an asylum, the ladies entertained the bold idea of building an asylum on account of the society. They had then about three hundred and fifty dollars as the commencement of a fund for the building; they purchased four lots of ground in the village of Greenwich, on a healthful, elevated site, possessing a fine prospect. The corner-stone was laid on the 7th of July, 1807. They erected a building fifty feet square; from time to time they proceeded to finish the interior of the building, and to purchase additional ground as their funds would permit; and such was the liberality of the legislature and of the public, that the society soon possessed a handsome building and nearly an acre of ground, all of which must have cost them little short of twenty-five thousand dollars. In that house Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Hoffman spent much of their time; there they trained for eternity the children of those whose widowed dying mothers they had cheered with the hope that when they should be taken away, God would fulfil his gracious promise and preserve their fatherless children alive.

Mrs. Hoffman survived Mrs. Graham seven years. Her end, like that of her friend, was peace. But though God removed those mothers in Israel, their prayers are still before him, and the institution continues to prosper. In 1836, the city having extended to where the asylum was situated, and the property at the same time increased in value, the society became desirous to remove where the children would enjoy purer air, and have greater convenience for a garden and pasture for cows. With the advice of their patrons, they sold the property for about thirty-nine thousand dollars; purchased nearly ten acres of ground at Bloomingdale, and on the 9th of June the same year laid the foundation-stone of their present beautiful building.

In the Thirty-fourth Annual Report of the society for 1840, we find the following record of God's goodness:

"On no former occasion has the board of direction been privileged to make to the friends and patrons of this institution a more favorable report than the present. The orphan's home is completed, and the beautiful building on the banks of the Hudson is alike an ornament to the city and a memorial of the liberality of its inhabitants. Within it are found, not only ample accommodations for a numerous family, but a place for the Lord, a habitation for the orphans' God. On the 19th of November last the chapel was opened for religious worship; the services were performed by reverend clergy of different denominations; and a highly respectable and apparently gratified audience attended. All the children, one hundred and sixty-five in number, were present, from the infant in arms

to the youth who will this day pronounce the valedictory.

"To those who have witnessed the progress of this institution from the small frame-house of 1806 to the noble edifice of 1840, accompanied by the recollection that the door has never been closed against the destitute orphan, how deep must be the conviction of an overruling Providence — the truth of the declaration, that God is the father of the fatherless in his holy habitation, and the fulfilment of his gracious promise, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' Nor is the orphan family merely furnished with sufficient accommodation for dwelling and moral and religious education: the grounds afford ample room for exercise and recreation; the garden supplies them with fruit and vegetables; and there being pasture for several cows, wholesome milk is added to their simple breakfast, while the abounding river invigorates the frame by a saline bath, and by casting a net into it, furnishes an occasional dinner of fresh fish."

The society, ever grateful to the founders, have erected a tablet on the wall of the beautiful chapel, which bears the following inscription:

Sacred to the Memory
OF
ISABELLA GRAHAM,
WHO DIED 27TH JULY, 1814;
AND OF
MRS. SARAH HOFFMAN,
WHO DIED 29TH JULY, 1821.
THEY WERE BOTH FOUNDERS OF THIS INSTITUTION.
TO THEIR PRAYER OF FAITH,
AND WISDOM IN DIRECTING ITS COUNSELS,
THE SOCIETY IS INDEBTED FOR MUCH OF THE SUCCESS THAT HAS ATTENDED IT.
THEY WERE LOVELY IN THEIR LIVES,
AND DURING MANY YEARS THEY TRAVELLED TOGETHER THE WALKS
OF CHARITY.
WHEN THE EAR HEARD THEM IT BLESSED THEM, AND THEY CAUSED THE
WIDOW'S HEART TO SING FOR JOY.
THEY NOW REST FROM THEIR LABORS,
PARTAKERS OF THE BLESSEDNESS OF THOSE
WHO DIE IN THE LORD:
THEIR WORKS DO FOLLOW THEM.

The success which has attended the Orphan Asylum Society, furnishes strong encouragement to attempt great and good objects even with slender means. God in his providence will command a blessing on exertions of this character. It is too common a mistake, and one fatal to the progress of improvement, that great means should be in actual possession before great objects should be attempted. Ah, were our dependence simply on apparent instruments, how small must be our hopes of success. There is a mystery,

yet a certainty, in the manner by which God is pleased in his providence to conduct feeble means to a happy conclusion. Has he not preserved, cherished, and blessed his church through many ages, amidst overwhelming persecutions, and that often by means apparently inadequate to this end? We must work for, as well as pray for the blessing which God has promised to bestow on our sinful race. We must put our shoulder to the wheel, while we look up to heaven for assistance, and God will bless those who are found in the path of duty.

In this asylum, the ladies have set no limits to the number to be received; and it has pleased God also not to set limits to the means necessary for their support. The institution is a great favorite with the public, and is frequently visited by strangers, who are delighted with the cleanliness, health, and cheerful countenances of the orphans.

The Society have received a charter of incorporation from the legislature; they have a handsome seal, with this inscription: "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me."

For several years it was customary with Mrs. Graham to visit the New York hospital; and before the admirable provision since made for the separate care of those mentally deranged, she paid a particular attention to patients of this description.

To the apartments appropriated to sick female convicts in the state prison, she also made many visits; she met with some affecting circumstances among this class.

In the winter of 1807-8, when the suspension of commerce by the embargo rendered the situation of the

poor more destitute than ever, Mrs. Graham adopted a plan best calculated in her view to detect the idle applicant for charity, and at the same time to furnish employment for the more worthy among the female poor. She purchased flax, and lent wheels where applicants had none. Such as were industrious, took the work with thankfulness and were paid for it; those who were beggars by profession never kept their word by returning for the flax or the wheel. The flax thus spun was afterwards wove, bleached, and made into table-cloths and towels for family use.

Mrs. Graham used to remark, that until some institution should be formed to furnish employment for industrious poor women, the work of charity would be incomplete. It was about this time that, deeming the duties too laborious for her health, she resigned the office of first directress of the Widows' Society, and took the place of a manager. She afterwards declined this also, and became a trustee of the Orphan Asylum Society, as more suited to her advanced period of life.

The lady to whom the following letter was addressed was Miss FARQUHARSON, a person of genuine piety and worth, whom Mrs. Graham had educated and prepared to become her assistant in teaching. When Mrs. Graham retired from her school, Miss Farquharson declined to succeed her, preferring to accompany and enjoy the society of her patroness and friend. Until 1804 she proved as efficient an assistant to Mrs. Graham in her charitable labors in the Widows' Society and Sabbath-school, as she had been in her boarding-school.

During the prevalence of the yellow-fever in 1804,

she was called to attend her own dying mother, and underwent so much fatigue, that on her return to Mrs. Graham she broke a bloodvessel, and for four months was confined to her room, during all which time Mrs. Graham attended her night and day. Her medical attendants prescribed a long voyage and residence in a hot climate as the only means of saving her life. About that time Mr. Andrew Smith was preparing to sail for the East Indies with his family, by the way of England. With them she embarked. She sojourned several weeks in Birmingham, and there the circumstances commenced which eventually led Miss Farquharson to become a missionary's wife, and the first American missionary to foreign lands. Her history has been published by Rev. Mr. Knill, in a tract entitled, "The Missionary's Wife."

The London Missionary Society were preparing to establish a mission in the idolatrous city of Surat, but the East India Company would not allow Christian missionaries to sail in their ships. The Society thankfully availed themselves of the privilege of sending Mr. Loveless and Dr. Taylor in the American ship Alleghany. They arrived in Madras, June, 1805.

During the voyage an attachment was formed between Mr. Loveless and Miss Farquharson which death only could sever, and introduced her to scenes of usefulness for more than thirty years, for which she was eminently qualified by early training. As soon as Mrs. Graham heard how her friend was going to be employed, she wrote to her as follows:

"MY DEAR SALLY — Many tears have I shed over your letter. What a changing lot has been that of my family! The Lord's providences to me and mine have

not been of the ordinary kind, and you, as one in it, seem to be a partaker with us. Surely, of all others, we have most reason to say, We are strangers and pilgrims on the earth. Oh that we may drink into the true spirit of that phrase, and enjoy the genuine, firm faith of an everlasting habitation, of living at home with God.

"My dear Sally, take the comfort of this, that it is the Lord who hath led you all the way by which you have gone. Of all persons whom I know, you were, from your temper and disposition, the least likely to travel, still less to continue a traveller. No ordinary means would have led you to leave your friends and religious privileges. And many a pang it has cost me, on reflection, to think how positive I was that you should take the voyage. But it was of the Lord. The physicians urged it as the only chance you had for life, and they had reason; for of all those who were attacked in the same manner, there is not one alive, within my knowledge, at this day.

"The Lord, by wonderful means, called you from your native land, and led you to the very spot where you met Mr. Loveless. The same God, being also his God, led him, by means perhaps equally unforeseen and uncommon, to the same spot, united your hearts to each other, and made you one in his hand, and I trust to his glory. You ask my blessing: I have carried both of you to my God and Saviour, and have prayed, and continue to pray, that the Lord will bless you individually and unitedly, give you much sweet communion with himself, and much social enjoyment with him and with one another. May he bless Mr. Loveless as a missionary, and give him the spirit of

his office, and much fruit among the heathen, as seals to his ministry; and may you be a helper with him, and both be blessed and made a blessing.

"I feel my loss. You were a comfort and a help to us all, especially to me: but I do not mourn; I heartily acquiesce. This is not only agreeable to me, as it is one of God's wise arrangements to you and us all, but I think it will be more to your comfort. Religion and conjugal love will sweeten almost any lot. It is the Lord's appointment and his richest earthly blessing.

"My dear Sally, I have ever considered you as my child. You are very dear to my heart. Tell Mr. Loveless he must ever consider me as his mother.

"Your affectionate mother,

"ISABELLA GRAHAM."

In the month of January, 1807, the London Missionary Society, of which Mr. Bethune was a foreign director, sent to this country the Rev. Messrs. Gordon, Lee, and Morrison; the two first to sail in an American ship for the East Indies, and Mr. Morrison for China. These devoted missionaries shared largely in the hospitalities of Christians in New York, and spent much of their time with Mr. Bethune's family. Mrs. Graham took great delight in conversing and advising with them, and though none of her letters addressed to them have come to hand, it is believed she corresponded with them. The following extract of a letter from Dr. Morrison, indicates the respect and Christian affection with which he regarded her.

"ON BOARD THE TRIDENT, May 24, 1807.

"MY EVER DEAR MOTHER GRAHAM — I think you were led by the special interference of our gracious

Lord, to put into my hands the work which you did, accompanied by the edifying and comforting letter which you wrote me.

"I thank you for telling me what God did for your soul, and join with you in ascribing to the Lord salvation and honor. I had, my mother, from the time of leaving my dear relations and friends, passed through waters deep as the fathomless ocean which I crossed; but with the Lord there is mercy; with him is 'plenteous redemption.' He is ready to forgive. He has restored to me, in some measure, 'the joy of his salvation,' and will not, I trust, take his Holy Spirit from me. This is my prayer. To-day he enabled me, on board of this vessel, to open my lips to teach transgressors his way. O, that sinners may be converted unto him."

To Mr. and Mrs. B——, at Ballston Springs.

"NEW YORK, August, 1807.

"MY BELOVED CHILDREN — A husband, wife, and child, make a family, and God ought to be acknowledged by them as such. I am anxious that you should meet in your room for that purpose some time every morning.

"If it cannot be accomplished at an early hour, redeem that time in a later, and also before going to rest in the evening. The Lord has honored your family worship with genuine fruits, follow it up in all places. Like Abraham of old, wherever you pitch your tent, for a longer or shorter period, there raise an altar to the Lord, to that God who has fed you all your life, carried you as on eagle's wings, and will carry you to old age and gray hairs."

To Mrs. Juliet S——, New York, one of her former pupils.

"BELLEVILLE, September 16, 1808.

"MY DEAR JULIET — Since the hour I received your letter, you have been little out of my mind. You call upon me as mother, friend, counsellor. Shall conscious unworthiness, or weakness, or ignorance, prevent my answering? No; for God often chooses weak instruments to bring to pass great ends, I have been once and again to a throne of grace, for wisdom to direct me, and grace to be faithful. If your desire after spiritual knowledge be sincere, and from the Spirit of God operating on your heart, you will bear searching.

"You are a communicant, my Juliet; this presupposes that a very great and important change has taken place in your mind — that you have been made deeply sensible of what the word of God testifies of every son and daughter of Adam's race. 'As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.' Rom. 3:10. Man is born as the wild ass's colt, going astray from the womb. Job. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; I the Lord search it. Having the understanding darkened, alienated from the life of God, through the ignorance that is in us, because of the blindness of our hearts. Dead in trespasses and sins. Eph. 4:18; 2:1.

"Your profession presupposes that this chapter may be addressed to you, Juliet, by name: 'You hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among whom also we all

had our conversation in times past, in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ; by grace are ye saved, through faith, not of works, lest any man should boast.' Works there are, my Juliet, most assuredly; every quickened soul will live, and bring forth fruits of righteousness; but these works are not attainable but in God's way and order. It follows, 'For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.'

"My Juliet says, 'To you then I look up to teach me.' Let me then bring you to the great Teacher and Prophet of the church, without whose teaching all human instruction will be ineffectual. We read of two amiable characters coming to Christ professedly for instruction. The first you will find in Matthew 19:16. The young man asks him, 'What good thing shall I do, that I may inherit eternal life?' Jesus answers him by referring him to the moral law: the young man, not made acquainted by the Spirit of God, either with the extent or spirituality of that law, or of the depravity of his own nature, answers, as many in like circumstances still do,' All these things have I kept from my youth up.' I do not suppose any one could contradict him. It is added that Jesus loved him, and he was a person of attractive character; but Jesus knew that the true principle was not there — supreme love to God, 'with all the heart, with all the soul, with all the strength, and with all the mind:'

therefore he gave him a test which proved that the world was uppermost in his heart. He went away sorrowful, and we hear no more of him.

"Of the other person we read in that remarkable chapter, the third of John's gospel — Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews, and also a teacher. Well knew he the law, as to the letter of it, both moral and ceremonial; he must also have been acquainted with all the Old Testament scripture types and prophecies, it being his office to expound; and no doubt, among others, was looking for the promised Messiah. Jesus does not send him to either the law or the prophets. This ruler comes with a conviction and an acknowledgment that Jesus himself was a teacher immediately from God; and Jesus immediately takes upon himself his great office, and begins with urging that which is a sinner's first business — 'to know himself,' what he is by nature, and the necessity of the new birth. Nicodemus, with all his learning, was a stranger to this doctrine: 'How can a man be born when he is old?' Jesus repeats his doctrine, 'He must be born of water and the Spirit;' baptized with water and the Holy Ghost. 'That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto you, Ye must be born again.' Humble that proud reason that will believe nothing but what it can understand. 'The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth; so is every one that is born of the Spirit.' A mystery it is; nevertheless it is true.

"Follow out the chapter, my dear: Jesus preaches his own gospel, and brings in that beautiful type, the

serpent, which he had commanded to be raised on a pole, that those who had been bitten with fiery serpents, whose bite was death, should look upon it and be healed. Read it, my dear, in the 21st of Numbers; and in reference to this, he himself says, 'Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth.' Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Quickened, renewed in the spirit, of his mind, old things pass away and all things become new — new principles, new desires, new pleasures, new ends. The work is God's. The whole plan of redemption is his from first to last. It is clearly revealed in Scripture, and there is no dispute among Christians concerning it. The fall of man, his corruption and depravity; his state under the curse of a broken covenant, and his exposure to eternal misery; his helplessness and total inability to gain acceptance with God; his ignorance of himself — 'dead in trespasses and sins,' 'without God and without hope in the world:' this is his situation by nature. But there is good news proclaimed: 'God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son,' to become the surety of lost sinners. He took our nature upon him, our sins upon him, our duties upon him: he was placed in our stead; sustained the penalty of the broken law; fulfilled its utmost demands; redeemed us; gave us a new covenant, of which himself is the surety: and there is 'no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus.'

"The merits of Christ, exclusive of any thing of ours, are the sole foundation of our hope. Christ is set forth, in Scripture, as the atonement, the propitiation for sins, the one sacrifice for sin; Christ is the

end of the law for righteousness; all is made ours by free gift. 1 John, 5:11. All is ready, justice satisfied, God reconciled, peace proclaimed. But what is all this to a thoughtless world, insensible of their situation, danger, and need? It is an awful saying, but it is of the Holy Ghost, If our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost, in whom the god of this world hath blinded their minds, and darkened their understandings, and hardened their hearts, etc. Therefore the application of this grace is also of God; it is all within his plan; he has appointed means, and commanded our diligence in the use of them. We have his Bible in our hands, his ministers in our churches, who are also pastors and teachers if we apply for their aid in private; we have a throne of grace to go to, and many great and precious promises held up in God's word for us to embrace and plead for Christ's sake: we have many prayers in the Scriptures which we may adopt.

"I acknowledge we are all still dependent for the effect; that must be from God himself. But he does honor his own ordinances. He puts forth his power, and convinces of sin; this is his first work. The soul is awakened, aroused, convinced of sin and misery; sins of the heart, sins of the tongue, sins of the life, press upon the conscience which never disturbed us before; misspent time, wasted talents, lost opportunities, neglect of God's word and ordinances, so that the soul cannot rest. O, my Juliet, this is a hopeful case. I hope you have experienced something of this. It is one of the surest marks of the operation of the Spirit of God, and a prelude to the new birth. It never takes place without it, for the whole need not

a physician, but they that are sick. Only the weary and heavy laden will prize rest, and Christ is the rest they need; only a convinced sinner will or can prize the Saviour, and now the Lord opens his mind to understand the Scriptures. He sees the provision which God has made for ruined sinners, by providing a substitute to stand in his room; he perceives how God can be just and justify the sinner who takes shelter in Jesus; he falls in with God's gracious plan: receives the Lord Jesus as God's gift to sinners; trusts entirely in his merits for pardon, peace, reconciliation, and eternal life; resigns his soul into the hands of his Saviour, in the faith that he will save it, and devotes himself unreservedly to his service, in the faith that he will give him grace to live to him in all holy obedience. Now, and not till now, according to God's promise, he receives power to become his child; this is God's order, John 1:12. Now he receives life and begins to live; but there is yet a great work before him. It hath pleased God in his plan to finish at once a justifying righteousness; it is his own work, and was finished in that awful hour when he announced it in his last words on the cross. John 19:30. To this nothing of ours is to be added, with this nothing of ours mixed; it is for ever perfect, it is God's gift made ours in the hour when we first believe, receive it, rest our souls upon it.

"But it hath not pleased God in this plan to deliver the believer at once from indwelling sin. This is the subject of the Christian warfare, the race, the good fight. Now the believer receives life, and is called to work. 'Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God that worketh in you

both to will and to do.' All the promises in this blessed Bible are his, they are yea and amen in Christ; Christ himself is his; his Spirit dwells in him. The believer is united to Jesus by as real a union as the branch to the vine, the members to the head, the building with the foundation. Yet sin dwelleth in him, and is to be expunged by constant applications to Christ in prayer; by means of watching, striving, fighting — fighting under his banner. In his blessed word we are informed where our strength lies, what our weapons, what our armor. But what can I say on those subjects? the whole word of God is on the subject of redemption; to this refer the whole labors of Christ's ministers, and the whole dispensation of God's providence.

"Are these things so? My Juliet, this is not the doctrine of any one church. About these subjects there is no dispute. Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Baptists, Independents, all agree in these great things. And are these things so indeed? O, my Juliet, where is the time to be spared for plays, assemblies, and such numerous idle parties of various descriptions? I must stop; the subject is great, and we have many excellent treatises on the various parts of it, by able, pious men. It would be improper to crowd it thus into a letter, unless to instigate to further investigation.

"Farewell; I ever am, my dear Juliet,

"Yours affectionately,

"I. GRAHAM."

The delicate state of health to which one of her granddaughters was reduced in 1808, made it necessary for her to spend the summer season for five successive

years at Rockaway, Long Island, for the advantage of sea-bathing. Mrs. Graham went with her, it being beneficial to her own health also. In this place she met with many strangers; the company residing there treated her with much affection and respect. She always attended to the worship of God morning and evening in her room, and was usually accompanied by some of the ladies who boarded in the house. Her fund of information, vivacity of manner, and the interest which she felt in the happiness of all around her, made her society highly valued and pleasing. Few of those ladies who stayed with her at Rockaway for any length of time, failed to express, at parting, their esteem for her, and they generally added a pressing invitation for a visit from her, if ever she should travel near where they dwelt.

The following is one of her sweet meditations while at Rockaway:

"ROCKAWAY, August, 1809.

"Sweet health again returns, which, considering the agitation of my mind, surprises me; but it is the Lord's pleasure. I did not wish to recover. I was in hopes the Lord was about to deliver me from 'this body of sin and death.' Lord, reconcile me to thy most holy will. Health is certainly a great blessing. I feel its sweetness. O make me thankful. Great and numerous are my mercies. Every thing pleasant and every thing necessary to life, to godliness, is mine: food and raiment to the utmost desires of nature; the beauties of thy fair creation surround my ordinary dwelling; my dear little room, my Bible, and books of every virtuous kind — by grace, thy chief mercy, I desire no other — and by the kindness of my children,

I possess all as if they were my own personal property. By thy wonderful loving-kindness, thou hast given me, instead of the contempt which I have merited, the love and esteem of thy people, and thou hast made the very stones of the field to be at peace with me, so that wherever I go I meet with kindness."

To Mrs. Marshall.

"NEW YORK, October, 1809.

"I find your letter dated 'Elderslie' — the very name gives a thrill to my old heart; in a moment the various scenes of my youthful days rise before me — the old mansion itself, and all its beloved inmates, every one of whom have now crossed the Jordan of death, leaving me a solitary wanderer in this weary wilderness. Ah, I can at this moment think of spots, by the burnside and the braeside, endeared to my heart by a thousand tender associations. There have I wandered with my beloved, idolized husband, and there has he delighted my heart with professions of love. These were indeed moments of ecstasy; but hush, there are you a widow with very, very different sensations, and here am I a widow with sensations equally different. The Lord has showed us many and sore adversities, but he will bring us up from the deeps below; we are much nearer our Father's house, and I hope proportionably riper for those joys which are at his right hand; and although your letter has brought some pleasing recollections to my mind — days of love and courtship, days, some of solitude, some of disappointment, some of ecstasy — yet I find they were all days of idolatry, therefore to be mourned over, not retasted, reënjoyed with delight. No, no; Father, forgive me."

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