CHAPTER VII.
BENEVOLENT LABORS — MRS. HOFFMAN — CORRESPONDENCE.
THE "Society for the relief of Poor Widows with small Children," having received a charter of incorporation, and some pecuniary aid from the Legislature of the state, the ladies who constituted the board of direction were engaged in plans for extending their usefulness: Mrs. Graham took an active part in executing these plans. The Society purchased a small house, where they received work of various kinds for the employment of their widows. They opened a school for the instruction of their orphans, and many of Mrs. Graham's former pupils volunteered their services, taking upon themselves, by rotation, the part of instructors. Besides establishing this school, Mrs. Graham selected some of the widows best qualified for the task, and engaged them, for a small compensation, to open day schools for the instruction of the children of widows in distant parts of the city: she also established two Sabbath-schools, one of which she superintended herself, and the other she placed under the care of her daughter. Wherever she met with Christians sick and in poverty, she visited and comforted them; and in some instances, opened small subscription lists to provide for their support.
She attended occasionally for some years at the almshouse, for the instruction of the children there in religious knowledge: in this work she was much assisted by an humble and pious female friend, who
was seldom absent from it on the Lord's day. In short, her whole time was occupied in searching out the distresses of the poor, and devising measures to comfort and establish them to the extent of her influence and means. At the same time, far from arrogating any merit to herself, she seemed always to feel how much she was deficient in following fully the precepts and the footsteps of her beloved Lord and Saviour, who "went about doing good."
It was often her custom to leave home after breakfast, taking with her a few rolls of bread, and return in the evening about eight o'clock. Her only dinner on such days was her bread, and perhaps some soup at the soup-house, established by the Humane Society for the poor, over which one of her widows had been, at her recommendation, appointed. She and her venerable companion, Mrs. Sarah Hoffman, second directress of the Widows' Society, travelled many a day and many a step together in the walks of charity. Mrs. Graham was a Presbyterian, Mrs. Hoffman an Episcopalian. Those barriers, of which such an unhappy use has been made by sectarians to separate the children of God, fell down between these two friends at the cry of affliction, and were consumed on the altar of Christian love. Arm in arm, and heart to heart, they visited the abodes of distress, dispensing temporal aid from the purse of charity, and spiritual comfort from the word of life.
At each annual meeting, Mrs. Graham usually gave an address to the Society, with a report of the proceedings of the managers through the preceding year.
In April, 1800, she stated that "again the pestilence had emptied the city; again every source of industry
was dried up; even the streams of benevolence from the country failed. Those storehouses, from which relief was issued to thousands in former calamities, now disappointed their hopes; and those spared by the pestilence were ready to perish by the famine. Such widows as had no friends in the country, under whose roof they might for a time seek shelter, were shut up to the only relief within their power, even to that society which had formerly saved them in many a strait. They came, were received with tenderness, assisted with, food, advice, and medicine.
"Four of the society's board, at the risk of their lives, remained in the city, steady in the exercise of their office. One hundred and forty-two widows, with four hundred and six children, under twelve years of age, by far the greater part under six, have, from time to time, during the winter, been visited and relieved. Widow is a word of sorrow in the best of circumstances; but a widow left poor, destitute, friendless, surrounded with a number of small children, shivering with cold, pale with want, looking in her face with eyes pleading for bread which she has not to give, nor any probable prospect of procuring — her situation is neither to be described nor conceived. Many such scenes were witnessed during the last winter; and though none could restore the father and the husband, the hearts of the mourners were soothed by the managers, while they dispensed the relief provided for them by their Father and their Husband, God."
In the summer of 1800, Mrs. Graham again visited her friends in Boston, whence she wrote her daughter Mrs. B—— as follows:
"BOSTON, August, 1800.
"I yesterday received my dear J——'s letter, which gives fresh cause for thankfulness. The more my absence is lengthened, the less I am able to support the want of intelligence. Let us all bless God together for all his mercies: among those which are temporal, health is the chief; and I believe to most mothers it is more valued in their children than in their own persons. I rejoice with you over our restored J——y. O that our covenant God may give the more important blessing of divine life. You had need to be importunate for this, after the importunity exercised for natural life. I thank God also for the alleviation of your own distress, for our dear D——'s restoration from complaints less alarming so far as they existed, but which might have been the seeds of serious affliction.
"I could go on enumerating, for causes of thankfulness crowd into my mind; but all are swallowed up in the grand mercy, the distinguishing mercy of redeeming love to our souls. Salvation, not only to me, but to my house. Oh, all words fail here. Read over with me, sing with me, in your heart, the 103d Psalm. O my God, dare I even sigh in thy presence, under any temporal pain, or hurt of body or mind, with such a Father, such a Christ, such a Comforter, such a richly-furnished well-ordered covenant, such a constitution of grace and providence — O, such an all in all, even 'all the fulness of God.' My God and the God of my seed, the God of my house; yea, and the God of my prodigal, who shall in heaven, if never on earth, join the song, 'To him that loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood, be glory,
honor, dominion, power, and praise, for ever and ever. Amen.' O shall a murmur ever pass these lips, shall this unthankful heart indulge even a sigh over any object but sin; shall I shrink from any cross with such a crown? Father, glorify thy name.
"I have been to church; the subject, 'be not weary in well-doing.' Many arguments were adduced for exertion; but the gospel was wanting. O that my friends could hear our shepherd; he would sound his Master's voice more in unison with their own hearts' experience, and views of new covenant provision and gospel motives: except in the Baptist congregations, the gospel is much mutilated here, and kept out of sight even by the few who are supposed to build upon it.
"Sabbath next brings round your — I will add, my gospel feast. I will endeavor to meet you to-morrow evening, and to have you all on my heart, then and on the Sabbath, in that one Lord, one faith, one Spirit, one God and Father of all, who is above all, through all, and in all redeemed to himself by Jesus Christ, and sanctified by that one Spirit uniting all. What subjects! I cannot attain to the comprehension, but I experience the truth and enjoy the comfort of them."
The two following letters, addressed to a young lady whose acquaintance Mrs. Graham made while at Boston, show how tenderly she sympathized with the feelings of the young, and how earnestly she sought their good.
To Miss M——, Boston.
"There was, my dear Miss M——, something in your countenance and manner, at our last interview,
which has dwelt on my mind ever since. Your former attentions, which I also marked, I attributed to the natural benevolence of your heart; but your following a stranger, an old woman, of whom you know so little, and whom you were likely never to see again, to solicit her friendship and an interest in her prayers, spoke a language beyond nature. Either my sweet friend has already chosen God in Christ to be her portion, and his love in her heart powerfully draws her to every one in whom she thinks she discerns his image, or she conceives that this world cannot give her happiness even in this life; and impressed with the importance of that which is to come, she wishes to cast in her lot among God's people, that she may know the good of his chosen and rejoice in their joy, and become a partaker of that peace which the Saviour bequeathed to his disciples when about to leave them: 'Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you; let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.'
"Let me congratulate my friend, which ever of these be the case. If the first, you have, or will soon have, a peace which the world can neither give nor take away; if the last, the Saviour stands at the door of your heart and knocks, soliciting that heart which has too long been hunting shadows and vanity. If your soul is dissatisfied with the things of the world, and tired with disappointment, cast a longing eye to the fountain of happiness. This is the claim of that God whose name is love: 'My son, give me thy heart.' 'Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' 'In the world ye shall have
tribulation, but in me ye shall have peace.' Be assured, my dear friend, if you could obtain all of this world that your heart could wish for, you would find vanity written on the possession. Nothing short of God himself can give happiness to the soul; and exactly in proportion as man becomes weaned from the world, and his affections centre in God, is he in possession of happiness.
"But how is this to be attained? By God's own plan, and no other. As many weary themselves in vain, hunting the shadows of time; so, many great philosophers, sensible of this great truth, that God alone can satisfy the rational soul, also weary themselves in vain, because they will not seek the blessing in God's own way. 'When the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased him by the foolishness of preaching' — what was esteemed so — 'to save them that believe.' 'I thank thee, O Father, that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.'
"The Saviour said, 'Ye will not come to me, that ye might have life. No man can come to the Father but by me. I am the way, the truth, and the life.' 'Search the Scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life, and they are they which testify of me.' The Scripture testifies what our own hearts must assent to, that human nature is depraved and corrupt; broken off from God; at a distance from him by sin; enmity against him in his true character; opposed to his holy law, in its extent and spirituality: we are also helpless, dead in trespasses and sins. 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself' — blessed be God for what follows — 'but in me is thy help.'
"The same Scripture which testifies the misery of man, reveals also his remedy — a remedy of God's own providing, by which man may be restored to the image and favor of God, and to that communion with him which is life and bliss. 'God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him might not perish, but have everlasting life: for God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved. And this is life eternal, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.' When man becomes convinced that he is lost, helpless, wretched, lying at mercy, and submits to the method of God's own providing; casts himself on the mercy of God in Christ, and coming to him, rests on his free promise, 'Him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast-out;' disclaiming all confidence in himself, or in his own works, he accepts of God's offered grace, in God's own way, a free and finished salvation. This is the record of God, that he giveth unto us eternal life, and this life is in his Son; who, of God, is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and complete redemption. Believing this, according to his faith it shall be. Christ shall be in him, 'a well of water springing up to everlasting life.' He will shed abroad his love in his heart, and according to his promise, give him power to become a child of God. The Holy Ghost, the Comforter, shall be given unto him, to teach him the knowledge of the Scriptures, and to become a principle of holiness in his heart. Then shall he find that wisdom's ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths peace; then shall he experience the blessedness of that man whose God is the Lord; then is the way open for communion
and converse with God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
"If, my dear Miss M——, I have made myself understood, you have my view of God's method of making his creatures happy; and I believe he will make us to know that he is a sovereign God, and that there is no other name, or method, by which men can be saved, but the name of Christ Jesus. But, take nothing on my word, nor the word of any creature; search the Scriptures; read the first eight chapters of the Romans, the whole of the Ephesians: stumble not at mysteries — pass them over, and take the milk for babes; pray for the teaching of the Spirit; and let me recommend to you the advice of Mr. Newton, in his Omicron's Letters, a book well worth your reading. 'Lay not too much stress on detached texts, but seek for the sense which is most agreeable to the general strain of Scripture.'
"My dear Miss M——, I am now old, and I hope have done with the world; but I have been young and drunk deeply of youth's choicest pleasures. I was blest with the best and most indulgent of parents; I was the wife of a man of sense, sentiment, and sensibility, who was my very first love and lover; and that love ripened and improved with years. My children were good and healthy; love, health, peace, and competency blessed our dwelling. I had also, in early life, taken hold of God's covenant, and tasted his covenant love; and devoted myself to his service, which was in my mind a principle of moderation, compared with mere worldlings; but very far was I from that non-conformity to the world which the precept of the gospel requires. Had I kept close to my covenant
God, enjoyed his bounty with thankfulness, occupied my talents, devoted my time to usefulness and communion with him; had I prayed against corruption within and temptation without, the Lord would have directed my steps and held up my goings, and I should have continued to inherit the earth, and should not have been diminished. But this was very far from being my conduct; the bent of the natural, unrenewed heart, is still opposed to God; and the best are sanctified only in part, while in this life; the law in the members still wars against the law of the Spirit of life in the mind. The goodness of God, which ought to have been a powerful motive to gratitude, love, and diligence, was misimproved; I enjoyed the gifts, and forgot the giver; 'hugged my comforts to death.' Many, many light chastisements, my dear, my kind, my indulgent heavenly Father exercised me with; I had many repenting seasons under his strokes, many manifestations of pardon I received, and many fresh and solemn dedications of my heart, life, and substance did I make; but no sooner was ease and comfort restored, than my heart turned aside like a deceitful bow: my whole life, from fifteen till the thirtieth year of my age, was one continued succession of departure and backsliding on my part — of chastening, forgiving, restoring, and comforting on the part of my God.
"He did not cast me off, but dealt with me according to the constitution of his well-ordered covenant: 'If his children,' Christ's, 'forsake my law and walk not in my judgments, if they break my statutes and keep not my commandments, then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.
Nevertheless, my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail; my covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.' Psalm 89:30. This is the covenant — made with Christ as the head of all who believe — of which I took hold in early life; my God kept me to my choice, and manifested his own faithfulness and the stability of his covenant. When lighter afflictions proved ineffectual, he at last, at one blow, took from me all that made life dear, the very kernel of all my earthly joys, my idol, my beloved husband. Then I no longer halted between two opinions; my God became my all. I leave it as my testimony, that he has been a father to the fatherless, a husband to the widow, the stranger's shield and orphan's stay. Even to hoar hairs and to old age he has carried me, and not one good word has failed of all that he has promised. 'He has done all things well,' and at this day I am richer and happier than ever I was in my life. Not that I am yet made free from sin, that is still my burden — want of love and gratitude, indolence in commanded duty, self-will, and nestling in the creature. But my heart's wish and earnest desire is conformity to the divine will. The bent of my will is for God; and if my heart deceive me not, my God is the centre of my best affections. It is by grace that I am what I am, and the same grace engages to perfect the work begun.
"This God is my God; he will guide me even unto death, through death, and be my portion to eternity. This God I recommend to my friend; and this well-ordered covenant, this all-sufficient Saviour, for your acceptance: the Bible for your guide, pray to God
for his Holy Spirit to lead you to the knowledge of the very truth as it is in Jesus. Accept this as a testimony of friendship, and believe me
"Yours, in love,
"I. GRAHAM."
To the same.
"NOVEMBER 2, 1800.
"You have, I find, been the child of affliction: she is a stern, rugged nurse; but blessed often are the lessons she teaches. I have, says God, chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. It is God's ordinary way of drawing sinners to himself, either to dry up or imbitter the streams of worldly comfort, that he may shut them up to seek that comfort that depends not on any transitory source.
"I have no doubt but you shall yet sing with the royal Psalmist, 'It is good for me that I have been afflicted; for before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I have kept thy word. Blessed is the man thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law.' Many are the texts to the same purport; take them for your consolation as a part of God's well-ordered covenant.
"You have met with a late bereavement, which has entered deep into your soul. We are not called to stoicism, but to tenderness of heart and spirit. Jesus wept with the two sisters over a brother's grave. But still, the Christian's spirit must be resigned, and say, and try to say with cheerfulness, 'Not my will, but thine be done.' And Oh, my friend, great will be the wisdom and happy the acquisition, if every new bereavement enlarge the room for divine love in the heart, and be filled up with that most noble, most
blessed of principles. Seek not, my friend, to replace friendship with any mere worldling; beg of God to fill up the vacuum, then will you be a great gainer.
"Why hesitate to join the church? Let not a sense of unworthiness keep you back — a deep sense of unworthiness is one grand part of due preparation; and no worthiness of yours can give you any title to that new testament in Christ's blood, which was shed for the remission of sins. Worthless, vile, empty, helpless is every son and daughter of Adam's race: but it was for the ungodly that Christ died; it was while we were without strength; his name was called Jesus, because he should save his people from their sins. In that day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood among a mixed multitude, and cried, 'If any man thirst, let him come to me and drink — whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.'
"If conscious at the time it is the supreme desire of your soul to be washed in his blood, clothed with his righteousness, sanctified by his Spirit, go and take this water of life freely; go as a sinner to a Saviour; go at his command, put honor on his appointment, and repeat the dedication of all that you are, have, or can have, over the symbols of his body broken for you, his blood shed for you; go, trusting in his mercy, and leave all to his management, believing that he will shed abroad his love in your heart, order your footsteps in his ways, and in due time perfect his image in your soul. Keep close to him in the use of means, but look beyond the means for life and power. I commit you to our God and Saviour, and pray that
he may be to you 'wisdom, righteousness, sanctification,' and complete 'redemption.'
"I am, my dear Miss M——,
"Your ever affectionate,
"I.G."
In March, 1801, the health of her daughter Mrs. B——, requiring a sea-voyage and absence from care, Mr. and Mrs. B—— sailed for Britain, and the following letters were addressed to them during their absence:
"MARCH 23, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — This is mortifying to us all that you should be anchored half a mile from us, and there lie for hours; but even this, trifling as it may appear, has its end to answer in His scheme, without whom 'not a sparrow falls.' I have retired with my Bible, to commit you, and all my cares and concerns, afresh to that God whose goodness and mercy have followed us through life; who is my God, your God, and the God of our children; who answered my prayers in opposition to my inconsistent conduct; took you out of my idolatrous management into his own more merciful guidance. He has done all things well, and he will perfect his own work.
"Now, may the Angel that redeemed you, be with you, keep you in the hollow of his hand, and as the apple of his eye; be with you on his own ocean, and command the billows not to touch you; carry you to the bosom of your dear native country, where a large proportion of his body live in him and by him; bless you, and make you a blessing wherever his providence shall carry you, and restore you with blessings to us, in his own time. Amen."
"SABBATH, after morning service, March 29.
"This, my dear children, is a day of storm, wind, and rain. O that the prayer of our dear pastor, and I hope of many present, may be with you, and be answered to and for you: Lord, be with that family, who now, on the mighty ocean, desire an interest in our prayers. May he whom winds and waves obey, preserve them in this tempestuous season; may they see and improve his wonders in the great deep; may the blessings of the everlasting gospel preserve their souls in peace, conduct them in safety to their destined port, and restore them to us, enriched with the blessings of thy well-ordered covenant.
"I sent two notes for the Dutch churches, enclosed to Mr. B——; one for Wall-street, to Mr. A——, and one for the Brick church, to Mr. M——. I watered all with my tears.
"FIVE O'CLOCK."
"O, how it blows and rains. O my children, how my poor heart aches for you; if not in danger, yet sick, and in much discomfort. I gave a note in the old church in the afternoon, supposing the congregation on this dreadful day to be different. Mr. M—— prayed: "The Angel of thy presence be with them; give them much of the consolations of thy Spirit. Conduct them in safety to the place of their destination, and restore them, enriched with thy blessing, to worship with us again in this thy house of prayer.' I write on this day merely to record, for your perusal, the prayers of your church. I think you ought, if the Lord conduct you safe, to propose public thanks to that God who heard and answered, if agreeable to Mr. M——. Write me how it was with you on this day. Now I will go
to a throne of grace for you and all of us. O keep close to the Lord; may he save you from a dissipated, trifling, carnal spirit; may he sanctify all your comforts, and give you a just estimation of all you see and hear: may the Christian's portion rise more and more; and the world and its vanities sink in your view."
"APRIL 10.
"What the Lord is going to do with his and my children I know not; but the Samuel Elam has returned to port with a leak, after being out nineteen days. On the day of storm, she had seven feet of water in her hold. I hope the Lord, in mercy to you, to his church, and to me his unworthy servant, has guided you in safety, and that the prayers of his church were answered in your behalf. O, my children, what would be the situation of my heart had I not confidence of your being within the ark. I desire to rejoice over all my fears, for this unspeakable consolation, that nothing can hurt you. I experience for you what I did in my own case, when darkness and tempest added to the horrors of many, while our vessel kept dashing on the rock: I, too, expected her to go to pieces every moment; but the idea was ever with me, 'in the bosom of God's ocean, I shall find the bosom of my Saviour.' On the night of the 29th of March I dreamt my dear J——y fell overboard, and I saw her floating on the billows, supporting herself by her little chair: this is the state of my mind; yet I am thankful, and enjoy much peace. The Lord has given me what I have asked — the salvation of your souls. In a little time we shall all be gathered around his throne. Well may I leave to him all intervening
circumstances, as well as who goes first, and how. O how he blesses my latter end, how he soothes and comforts my old age; far other things have I merited, that my soul knows; but he has not only pardoned, but comforts, and draws a veil over my transgressions, covering them from the world's observation. What can I say? He is God, a God of mercy."
"APRIL 17.
"I have brought the reality near me, that mine eyes may never behold you again on earth. I can say, even of that, it is well; but the idea of the horrors of tempest, a leaky vessel racked by the storm, and sinking by inches; sickness, nervous timidity, and the sufferings to be undergone before the entrance to the haven of rest be attained, is my chief disquietude, I will not even say distress, because when these horrors — horrors they are to mere nature — dart across my mind, filling my soul with momentary anguish, Satan too seeking to distract my mind, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a standard against him, and comforts me with his own word, the everlasting promises suited to every possible circumstance in the believer's lot. Thousands of times have I grasped that promise, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' I pleaded it for the life of their souls; He answered my prayers; he has given them life, and they live to him. Yes, I see the fruit, and though iniquities still prevail against them, he still purges away their transgressions; kindles their repentance; humbles their souls; lays them prostrate in penitential confession; washes them afresh in the open fountain; restores to them the joys of his salvation; seals their pardon by
shedding abroad his love in their hearts, and making them walk in the path of righteousness for his own name's sake.
"Thus he carries them on from strength to strength by various means of his own appointing, and some terrible things in righteousness, in the course of his providence; in all which he is sovereign, but ever consistent with his new covenant name, as proclaimed to Moses on the mount, as manifested in the character of God dwelling with us in our own nature, in whom mercy shone prominent; by which mercy they shall appear in Zion, before God, in due time.
"Is it so? Is this God my God, and the God of my seed? Is he himself become our salvation? Are we heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ? Is our life hid with Christ in God? When he appears, shall we, I and the children which he hath given me, in very deed appear with him in glory? Is all this so, and shall I tremble at the approach of any of his providences? Shall I not say when it has taken place, 'The will of the Lord be done,' especially when clothed with love? I trust that as my day, so shall my strength be, and in the interim I have the same confidence for you; for 'he giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.'"
"APRIL 25.
"The wind roars and howls in my windows, though not facing the storm, and the white waves in the river picture in my mind the foaming billows of the ocean. The name of our God is my consolation: 'though the waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof, there is a river the
streams whereof shall make glad the city of God. God shall help her, and that right early.' When I walk about Zion, and go round about her, when I tell the towers thereof, mark her bulwarks, and consider her palaces, my heart rejoices that 'this God is our God; he will be our guide even unto death; and O the joy that my children are the citizens of this Zion, and the heirs of all the promises by virtue of the new testament in Christ's blood. A covenant of works it was to our Surety, and his heart's blood finished the requisites of it. It is now a testament to you, sealed by the same blood. Wherever in his word I meet the character, the providence, the work of God, I read my own and my children's interest. I hope your experience shall be in Psalm 107:28. If not wholly, it shall terminate in Psalm 23:4. Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall fear no evil, for this God, who is your guide even unto death, shall be with you, his rod and staff shall comfort you; and our darling Jessy he shall carry as a lamb in his arms, and hide her from the horrors, in his bosom. I dwell much on these subjects, and I feel comforted, whatever be the event.
"If the Lord has carried you safe through, and you live to read this in the body, know that our God continues to bless us abundantly in health, peace, and plenty, as to temporals; we also experience the peace of his covenant, and have tastes of the bread and of the water of life. Thanks, all thanks to our new covenant Head for the stability of the covenant; we change, but he changeth not. He himself is the covenant given to the people, and because he lives, his people shall live also, in spite of Satan and his
colleague sin in our hearts: sin may, and does bring his people into captivity, but it shall not keep them in bondage for ever. The time of deliverance shall come, when they shall revive as the corn. Oh, is it not a well-ordered covenant, and sure?"
Her next letter gives an illustration of fidelity in a difficult, and, it is to be feared, much-neglected duty.
"MAY 10, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — Last evening was preparation sermon. Mr. Y—— preached a very excellent sermon from the Song of Solomon, 'Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?' First the wilderness of this world, next the church coming up, then the attitude leaning, and on whom; I thought the simile well supported, and practical, as he went on. His application was rich on the Christian's support, where he brought into view many of the names of Christ.
"After sermon we witnessed a most affecting scene; two female members rebuked and restored to the communion of the church. Never, never did our dear Mr. M—— shine so bright in my eyes; many tears were shed. I knew nothing of it, and wondered to what he was leading, when he addressed the congregation, after sermon, upon Christian walk, watchfulness, and temptation, and the distress occasioned in Christian society when any of the members were left to fall into open and aggravated sin. Such was the case in our own congregation: two, naming the offenders, had been so far left; but while deeply wounded by the sin and scandal, he was consoled by their
penitence: he assured the congregation that they had given great evidence of deep contrition; and were now come forward to acknowledge their crime before their offended and grieved brethren, and to give all the satisfaction in their power, by submitting to the censure of the church in this public manner, which, although painful to him, he must pronounce according to God's appointment. 'Them who sin before all, rebuke before all.' He then asked them to rise; scarce an individual turned to look; many were weeping while he laid before them their guilt in strong, yet tender terms; and finished by expressing his approbation of their thus submitting to the rod, and exhorting them to humility and redoubled watchfulness. Then again he addressed the members, requesting them to receive into their Christian love and affection their repenting, returning sisters; that they would treat them with tenderness, and restore them in the spirit of meekness, considering themselves as also in the body and subject to temptation. 'Let no one put them in remembrance of the sin which the Father of mercies has blotted out, nor open those wounds which he has closed,' 'He doth not chide continually, nor retain his anger for ever.'
"May the Lord bless the discipline of his church; may he meet us to-morrow with multiplied pardons: may he melt our hearts to contrition, heal our backslidings, and manifest himself as married unto us; may he bring us into his banqueting house and his banner over us be love; may his grace be magnified and his name glorified; and may he send a portion to my dear children — yea, a Benjamin's portion; may he open wide the leaves of that new testament, and let
them read their rich inheritance and rejoice in their portion.
"Farewell, my dear children. The Lord bless you, keep you, guide you, and cause his face to shine on you, prays your affectionate mother."
The following to the same, was written while on a visit to a worldly friend:
"MAY 21, 1801.
"I would fain begin to hope that my children are now on, or near the green fields of Albion. Many a severe gale has agitated them, and tried their faith and confidence before this day. But as He who sitteth on the clouds, commanding and governing the elements, is their own God in covenant, who loves them, careth for them, and perfects what concerns them, I hope they have had much of his presence: I hope they have found, even on the boisterous ocean, amidst the horrors of the swelling deep, agitated with winds and tempests, all things necessary to life and godliness in these great and precious promises, accompanied by divine power, by which they are made partakers of divine life, and escape the pollution that is in the world through lust. I hope they are enriched in experience, and advanced in the divine life, by all they have suffered, and all they have tasted of divine support in their sufferings; that Christ is still more precious, his word more tried, and their confidence in him more established: if so, great is their gain. And our darling J——, being a sharer in the suffering, shall, at her God's hand, be also a gainer, though it be not evident to our perception. O how rich is the Christian, how inexhaustible his portion!
his table is ever furnished, his cup ever full; all is blessing, no curse mingled — that our Surety took to himself; prosperity and adversity, sickness and health, light and darkness, all, all shall bless us, work for our good, turn to our profit, and end in the glory of God and our unspeakable, inconceivable happiness.
"I have been here a week yesterday; all vegetable nature glows and shines in the perfection of beauty; flowers, shrubs, trees, grain, grass, falling waters turning the busy mill, the brook murmuring on its way to the ocean, fit emblem of eternity, all glorify their Creator; and although no such birds as in Britain charm the listening ear, we have some sweet chirpers of his praise; and what is wanting to the ear, is made up to the eye, for in beauty they excel.
"These I may enjoy; with these hold communion; for Oh, spiritual death holds all within these walls in dismal bondage; not one symptom of life appears, but death, as the dry bones in the valley of vision. Why do I not wrestle more for the Spirit to breathe on them? I do pray: but Oh, formal, formal."
To the same.
"JUNE 17, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN — Difficult it is for me to exercise patience: the 23d, of this month will make three months since you waved the handkerchief on board the Mars, off the Battery. I had made up my mind not to give way to expectation short of three months; they are nearly past: how many events take place in that space of time; how many duties ought to be performed; how many sins are really committed; how guilty to wish to annihilate the time that a
certain event may come round. For every moment of time we must account, and not one moment of it can we recall. Much you have seen; much you have suffered; much, perhaps, also enjoyed: for the Lord can give songs in the night, and in a dungeon. 'Surely his salvation is nigh them that fear him;' to them there is no want. The Lord is their shepherd, he feedeth them in green pastures beside the gently flowing waters; if they wander, he restoreth them, perhaps with the rod, but it is the rod of love; they need not be afraid to enter even the valley of the shadow of death; their Shepherd is with them, and his rod, rod of support, and staff shall comfort them.
"I hope this has been a profitable time to you both; that you have seen more of the evil of sin, and of your own hearts, their deceitful double turnings and windings to cover and conceal the enemy of God and your own souls; more of the extent and spirituality of the divine law, fulfilled indeed in every jot and tittle by your Surety; but still doubly binding on you as a rule of life in the hand of your Redeemer, who hath bought you to himself, and taken you into his own hands, that you might be a holy people to himself, delivered not merely from the penalty and curse, but from the power and indwelling of sin. I hope you have seen more of the unsearchable riches of Christ in all he has done and is now doing for your and his church's happiness, and of those exceeding great and precious promises by which you are made partakers of the-divine life, and privileged to escape the pollution that is in the world through lust; more of the faithfulness of God, as a God in Christ, pardoning sin and reconciling you to himself;
and day by day, teaching you by his word, Spirit, and providences.
"I am but just beginning to see that I am blind; my own character opening upon me as a sinner, in heart and tongue and conduct, against my God, my neighbor, and my own soul: how comes it then that I am at ease in God's world; in health, in peace, in comfort, all in an extraordinary degree as to temporals; and as to spirituals, though grieved with self, my joy in Christ also abounds. Can I believe it? What can I say; what can I render to the Lord for all his gifts to me? Nothing can I do, but just take the cup of salvation, calling upon the name of the Lord, and remain an eternal debtor to his grace for spirituals and temporals."
"JUNE 26.
"By this time you are already in port, on earth or in heaven. Blessed alternative. Ought I to be sad, who can say, 'or in heaven?' O no, I trust grace will be given to acquiesce in his most blessed will; a most gracious will it has been to me and mine.
"I wrote you in my last, that our dear Mr. M—— leaves us next month for Britain; his errand is to state the situation of this country, as greatly in want of ministers and the means of educating ministers. Many of his people are dissatisfied, as he has two congregations to supply, and a large family of his own. Why should he be the man? For my own part, I think he is the very man; and I am thankful to feel a degree of disinterestedness. Though I love my minister, value his ministry and his person, I hope the general interest of Christ's body is more dear to me, and of infinitely more importance than my private comfort, which, after
all, I do not believe can suffer by parting cheerfully with its apparent food to Christ, who himself is the sum and substance of all that any minister can be instrumental in conveying. All means are alike to him, or no means. I therefore rejoice in his will, and pray that the Lord may prosper him, give him a double portion of his Spirit, and favor in the eyes of all whose influence is necessary to advance the Redeemer's kingdom in America.
"Our friend Mrs. K—— is gone; she died suddenly: both Mr. and Mrs. T—— died at their country-seat; he first. She fancied she was getting better. The physician advised her not to ride, as she could not stand the fatigue; she had more faith in air and exercise: the last day she went out she fainted getting into the carriage, and again coming out; and died in the afternoon. She lived near us, yet I never saw her, nor offered one kind office towards the salvation of her soul, which, if lost, leaves me not innocent of her blood, and if saved, as I hope it may be, my sinful neglect is not the less. What a picture in them of the vanity of all under the sun; and in me of the evil of procrastination, for I meant to visit her. O my Saviour, is this the return I make for the millions of pardons which thou hast passed on my account; sparing even the rod, and blessing me with health, restored limbs, and mercy on mercy, comfort on comfort? I want words to paint my abominable ingratitude, indolence, and cruelty; and yet, Oh yet I am spared, and my mercies are spared, as far as I know — but trial may be at hand. Perhaps I write what my children may never read. Well, even then, mercy, mercy shall be my song; for I sing the song on earth which they sing in heaven. I am just
going to town to attend preparation sermon. Our feast is on Sabbath."
"JULY 17, 1801.
"What shall I render to the Lord for all his mercies — mercies temporal, mercies spiritual, mercies eternal, multiplied mercies? The one thing that I asked of the Lord has been answered in full, and Oh, how much added. God himself become my salvation, and the salvation of my house; how unspeakable the blessing. Although chastisement and affliction were the means of correction and sanctification, or even the vengeance taken on my inventions, yet, as a God, he at the same time pardoneth. For Oh, my character is ever the same with backsliding Judah and treacherous Israel. Glory to that name which is ever the same, and changeth not. 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' This was his name among a stiff-necked people, an idolatrous, ungrateful people; this is his name to me alike in character. O how he has magnified this name to me, a backslider in heart and life; multiplying pardons while I have multiplied transgressions: still he has been last with me, healing my backsliding; restoring my soul; leading me to the open fountain; giving faith to wash, and joy and peace in believing; not only so, but in this land of drought, this waste howling wilderness, this vale of tears, where 'man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards,' my cup with temporal comfort is full and running over; all his creatures minister to my comfort; and as days and nights roll on, his daily providence adds, and diminishes not.
"I had hardly hoped to see the faces of my children
again; for he commanded, and raised the stormy winds and lifted up the waves of the sea; they mounted to heaven and sunk again to the deep; death with all its natural horrors surrounded them; the deep yawned to devour them; but God, their own God, was at hand, their anchor of hope, their ark of safety, their hiding-place till the calamity was past: they cried to him, and he saved them out of their distresses; he made the storm a calm, and the waves thereof still, and brought them to the desired haven. This trouble was not unto death, but for the glory of God and the exercising of your faith, for the manifestation of his power and goodness, and the enriching of your experience.
"O then let us praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men. Let us exalt him in the congregation of his people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders."
"OCTOBER 23, 1801.
"Surely, surely my heart feels grateful for the time, though this, like every other good motion, will, like the morning dew, soon pass away.
"My children not only preserved through the tempestuous storms that threatened death with circumstances shocking to nature, but my poor sick child preserved during a long and fatiguing journey; that journey made comfortable, yea, delightful, by the warm reception of many kind friends, dear to nature, and many doubly endeared by grace: among the last, the mother and sisters of the kindest and best of husbands; they receiving her as their own flesh and blood, as well as their fellow-member in Christ; blest with a measure of health to enjoy all, and a measure of grace
to profit by all; eyeing by faith the dear invisible hand of a covenant God, preserving, leading, guiding through every step — his love the marrow of the whole, and their charter for safety, even amidst the dangers of prosperity.
"Is not godliness gain? profitable for this life as well as that which is to come? What is the portion of the worldling? even in this life 'shadowy joy or solid woe,' without a balance to the first, or consolation in the last; no sure footing in the one, nor support in the other; distanced from the fountain of happiness by nature, prosperity incrusts their hearts and increases their carnality; nestling in their worldly comforts, they forget they are the creatures of a day, that an endless eternity lies before them, and only the feeble uncertain thread of life between them and that curse under which they were born. Not so the child of God; all things work together for his good — all things; his standing is not in himself; his footsteps are directed by infinite wisdom: he is kept by the power of God, through faith, unto salvation. Nothing can separate him from the love of God. His life is hid with Christ in God: there is cause to rejoice always; his privileges are boundless, infinite, for God himself is become his salvation.
"Have we then any cause for fear? Yes, my children, yes; though nothing can rob us of our charter, there is another side to be beheld. In Christ we have all things richly to enjoy, but we have not all in possession: what we have is by faith; all is secured by our Surety for eternity. We shall overcome by the blood of the Lamb; but by the constitution of the covenant we must enter into that rest, that perfect
rest, through great tribulation. While our eternal salvation is secured by our Surety, it hath pleased infinite Wisdom to appoint another connection, which shall exist while we remain on earth: even the connection between our steadfastness, consequently our comfort, and the means of grace which he hath appointed, making the first to depend in a great measure on our diligent use of the last, insomuch that a great number of the promises are proposed conditionally. Many exhortations are given in this view, and also many threatenings. 'They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,' etc. 'Seek, and ye shall find; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.' 'Abide in me; as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, no more can ye, except ye abide in me.'
"Close, intimate, near communion with God, is to be sought by means of prayer, meditation, and reading. If the Christian be careful to husband time, and set apart a portion for God, and set about these duties, he will not always miss communion; and this prepares him for other duties, and arms him against temptation; as the promise is concerned to keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. 'If ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give his Holy Spirit to them that ask him.' 'So shall ye know the Lord, if ye follow on to-know him.' 'Delight thyself in God, he will give thee the desire of thy heart.' 'Nevertheless, I will be inquired of by the house of Israel,' etc. 'If his children forsake my laws, and go astray, I will visit their faults,' etc. 'Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.' 'But thou, when
thou prayest, enter into thy closet,' etc. 'Thy Father, who seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.' All is laid before us in the Scriptures, in the view of comfort during our pilgrimage, as well as the certainty of our inheritance in the end; the ground whereon we stand, our danger, and the means of safety. See Eph. 6:11.
"There is provision made in the covenant for great comfort, consistent with human frailty and imperfection, but not with carelessness and negligence. While, therefore, we rejoice in the Lord, we have good reason to join trembling with our exultation; while standing high in comfort, to take heed lest we fall, through the deceitfulness of sin. We carry about with us 'a body of sin and death;' 'the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.' We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities and powers,' etc. We live in a world lying in wickedness; the captives of sin and Satan exerting every faculty to banish all thoughts of God, death, and eternity; contriving, with unwearied industry and amazing ingenuity, new gratifications for body and mind in endless variety, suited to all constitutions, all tempers and dispositions, and to those in all circumstances. Of these, the most rational are the most subtle, and, in the hand of the enemy, the most calculated to keep men ignorant of themselves, their misery, and of the great salvation; and alas, by these he often spoils unwary Christians, who, though heirs of heaven, heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ, are, during their minority, subject to like passions with themselves, and ever in danger of being spoiled of their comforts when off their guard.
"With the people of the world Christians have much to do: they are fellow-members of society with them; they have many duties to perform to them, with them, and by them; many of the things of the world are necessary to them, many of its pleasures lawful; for 'the earth is the Lord's and the fulness thereof,' and he gives them of it as his wisdom sees good for them. That which he gives them they gather in the same manner as and in society with the world, by industry and diligence in their lawful calling and business. Keeping near the Captain of salvation, and armed in his whole armor, they are safe. When off their guard, the vigilant enemy gains some advantage, and they get into trouble. O how many gracious names our dear Redeemer has assumed in his word, for our comfort, our meditation, our spiritual exercise; how pleasant and delightful in the light of his countenance to analyze them! Besides the names peculiar to himself as God-man, how many has he condescended to take from among men, and the natural comforts and safeguards of men — our Shepherd, our Rock, our Ark, all the relations in life — and ends with our All in all. But I must have done, that I may tell you that goodness and mercy follow us in this family also."
"July 28, 1801.
"My dear pastor, Mr. M——, sailed for Britain. I thank thee, good and kind Shepherd of Israel, for all those providences, which seemed small things at the time, that hedged me into that congregation; for all the benefits and comforts I enjoyed under the ministry of thy aged servant now before thy throne, and that thou preparedst thy young servant to fill his place when the time of his departure came.
"I thank thee for all the endowments of our young pastor, of nature and grace. I thank thee, that thou hast kept him faithful to Him who has called him, and for the precious treasure thou hast put in that earthen vessel.
"Now, Lord, that thou hast called him to leave his family and his flock, to travel to a foreign land in the service which thou requirest, go with him, prosper him, overrule all his concerns for thy glory, the good of his soul, of the church in general, and his own little flock in particular. Amen. Glorify thy name"