"AS YE SOW SO SHALL YE REAP."—PAGE 140.
After he had set the stakes and drawn the line across the field, we were ready for a start. I was to hold the "machine," and he to drive the horse. As we were about to start he suggested that I had better take off my coat, vest, boots and stockings, and roll up my pants. I did so.
The wisdom of this move will be seen later. The old mare started on a gait equal to that of the "deaf drover" over the rough roads. I held tight to the handles, making lofty jumps from one step to another, sinking into the plowed ground almost to my knees each time. Before we were half through the field I was in a profuse perspiration, and had succeeded in knocking one of my great toe-nails entirely off, which afterwards laid me up for two weeks. When we reached the other end he looked solemnly at me and said: "By gosh! you can run like a racehorse can't you?"
"Yes," I replied, almost out of breath, "and you are no slouch yourself."
I then took a comfortable seat on a fence-rail and asked him if that was the fastest horse he owned. He answered: "No, by gosh, I own one that can out-trot this one."
"Yes," I said, "but trotters won't do here. We must have a running horse to do this right."
After skimming over a couple of acres which took but a few minutes, we concluded to make an investigation to see how evenly the kernels were being distributed.
Although it seemed to us that we were using up a large quantity of corn we found but few hills containing more than the average number of kernels.
Of course we only examined along the line opposite each check, having no thought of finding any corn between them.
I then suggested that he finish it alone, as I must return to town to attend to important business.
This he agreed to and I left at once. In about ten days he drove up in front of the office and beckoned me out, when he said:
"Get in here young man, I want to show you something."
I climbed in the wagon and he started for home.
On the way he asked me how long I had been in that business, adding that he "didn't suppose I had ever worked in a shop where they made corn-planters."
I assured him that my time had always been too valuable for that.
He said he "supposed so."
When we arrived at the corn-field he drew a long breath and said:
"Now sir, you have done a deal of blowing about your old check-row corn-planters. As you see, this corn is high enough to judge, and if you can find a single row in this whole field, I'll buy you out."
I admitted that there were no rows, and said to him in a confidential way: "My dear sir, I supposed you understood that this machine was intended to sow broadcast."
"Broadcast the d——l!" he replied, and flew into a rage, declaring he would sue me for damages. I then said to him as I motioned towards the house: "Come inside, I want to show you something."
He followed me in, and I took an old slipper and a woolen sock off my foot, and without unwrapping the toe, said, pointing to it: "Sir, if I have that toe taken off, I shall be obliged to compel you to pay for it."
His wife, a silly-looking mortal, stared vacantly for a moment and then said: "I can't see what use he would have for the toe, if you did have it taken off."
We then compromised, he agreeing to stand the results of the corn crop, and I the consequences of the sore toe. As soon as a new nail grew out, I made a trip through the country, and brought up one Saturday evening at Bronson, where "my girl" lived.
I couldn't give up the idea of getting married, and as my prospective mother-in-law quite agreed with me that it would be the best thing to do, we lost no time in arranging matters. The marriage took place the following week, and I immediately returned to Three Rivers with my bride.
We remained but a short time, until my uncle expressed a desire to become interested in the business. I then turned it all over to him, as I felt it was too slow to suit me. I had been there six months, and left with about that many hundred dollars.
We proceeded to Ohio, and explained to my folks "just how it all happened." My mother said "she couldn't see how I had managed to live so long without a wife." Mr. Keefer said "he'd bet it was the best thing that ever happened to me."
My mother wanted to know what next, and how I expected to support a wife and pay my debts, when I had never yet shown enough ability to support myself?
I frankly confessed that during my courtship I absolutely forgot that I owed any one, and that it seemed to have been a secondary consideration with me.
However, I called on all my creditors, and, after showing them a nice roll of money as evidence that I had been "hus'ling," I received their sanction to my investing the money in jewelry, and going on the road as a wholesaler. I then opened correspondence with a firm in Chicago who had been recommended to me as headquarters on jewelry, arranging to call on them in a few days. They informed me that five hundred dollars would buy a fair stock, to start with.
We returned to the home of my wife's parents; and the day before I was to start for Chicago, her father, who was engaged in the grocery business, called me one side and explained that he had become involved, and that the money I had would bridge him over; and if I would put it in his business and help him run it he would give me half the profits and board myself and wife.
This I consented to do, and had no sooner settled down to business than his creditors began crowding him, and in a very short time the business "collapsed." The only thing I had from the wreck was an old billiard-table which he turned over to me. As I had had quite a sad experience in the billiard business only a year before, I now thought I saw my only chance to get even. I therefore rented a room and opened a billiard hall.
This was a regular bonanza, for about three weeks. Indeed, too much so, for then, to my regret, the "City dads" passed an ordinance prohibiting the running of billiard rooms. As I had commenced housekeeping about the time I opened the billiard room, and had gone in debt for my furniture, I found myself in a sad plight. The sale of the outfit enabled me to pay but a small portion of my indebtedness.
I was now stranded, and ready for something else, but was completely non-plussed to know what to do next. Of course I realized by this time that I had a wife, and a "mother-in-law," and it began to look as though there must be some genuine "hus'ling" done.
About this time the whole country thereabouts was thrown into the wildest excitement over the supposed mysterious murder of Almeda Davis, for which a young man named Bunnell was arrested, tried and acquitted. Deputy-sheriff Dennis, who made the arrest, came to me the next day after the young lady's death, and asked me to write it up for some of the leading City Dailies. I agreed to do so, and to always give him a good "send off," if he would furnish me with the minutest facts during the whole case. He did so, and I guess would be surprised to learn that I made more money out of that trial than he did, if it was a new business to me. But it made us a comfortable living until about the middle of winter, when I decided to move back to Ohio. Before arranging to leave, I called on my creditors at Bronson—there were five of them—and explained my position. They each agreed that I could do nothing there, and might better make a change, and that they would gladly wait till I could make a raise before asking or expecting me to pay.
We then proceeded to Ohio, arriving home "broke," where I explained to my folks "just how it all happened."
My mother said she thought I had done splendidly "for a married man."
Mr. Keefer said "It did beat the d——l!"
CHAPTER XII.
MORE HELP FROM MR. KEEFER—SIX WEEKS AS A HORSE-TRAINER—A MYSTERIOUS PARTNER—COLLAPSED—HOW I MADE A RAISE—HOME AGAIN—FATHER TO A BOUNCING BOY.
Soon after my arrival home I received a letter from a horse-trainer then located at Springfield, Ohio, saying I had been recommended to him as a splendid horse-back rider, a general "hus'ler" in business, and possibly a good advertiser. As these were the requirements needed in his business, he would give me a half interest in the same if I would join him. He then went on to state the marvelous works he could do.
When I read this letter to my folks, my mother said she thought it a splendid chance to get my neck broke, and leave a young widow.
Mr. Keefer said he'd bet I could ride any horse the fellow had.
I then gave Mr. Keefer the wink, and he followed me to the barn, when I began negotiations for a small loan to take me to Springfield. He then explained to me for the first time, that his affairs had become somewhat embarrassed, through a bad investment, and it was almost impossible for him to make both ends meet; "but," he added, "I have never yet refused you, because I have always had faith in you; and I believe in your ability to some day make lots of money, and I will see what I can do to help you once more."
That day he called on a friend who loaned him the few dollars I needed, and as he handed it to me he said: "I know it will all come right some day."
I now began to realize what a pleasure it would be could I embark in a well-paying business, just at the time when Mr. Keefer was in adverse circumstances.
As there was no other opening for me, I immediately started for Springfield, where I met the young horse-trainer, Prof. De Voe, with whom I at once proceeded to form a co-partnership. He was a conundrum to me, from the very outset. A short, thick-set young man, not over eighteen years of age, with bushy, black hair, and dark eyes, a large Roman nose, and extremely small hands and feet.
DEVOE, JOHNSTON & CO., HORSE TRAINERS.—PAGE 153.
He was thoroughly posted in the science of Horse-training, first-class in giving instructions, but poor in execution. I immediately wrote some advertising matter, and after having it printed we started on our trip.
Our plan was to break unruly horses, and teach the method of doing it. We would select one of the handsomest horses in the town where we were operating, and I would first break him to ride under the saddle without a bridle; then we would teach him to drive to the carriage without reins, by the motion of the whip.
We had a splendid trade for about two weeks, and worked into the State of Kentucky. We very soon learned that the people there knew more about horses than we ever knew.
My partner and myself were frequently compelled to occupy the same room at the hotels, and he would often frighten me half out of my wits, in the middle of the night, by breaking out with a beautiful song, in a sweet soprano voice; and at other times would get up in his sleep and, after taking his position on a foot-stool, would strike out in a splendid lecture on either the anatomy of the horse, or the art of training him.
I would frequently wait and let him close his speech; after thanking his supposed audience, he would again retire, without ever waking, or realizing what he had done. There was no time when I ever heard him do half so well in his lectures as when asleep.
He wore a boot three sizes too large, and gave as a reason for this, that if a horse happened to step on his feet it wouldn't hurt his toes.
I often laughed at this foolish whim, and failed to quite understand him. We remained together until we "collapsed," at Bowling Green, when we decided to dissolve partnership.
He pawned a small lady's gold watch, which he said his deceased wife had left him, and with the money bought a ticket for Cincinnati. I was undecided whether to continue horse-training, or try and strike something else.
After Prof. De Voe left, I remained at the hotel but a few days, when a gentleman arrived there from the East, selling County rights for a patent gate.
I remembered having had a conversation with a gentleman the day before, who said he wanted to invest a hundred dollars in a good paying business.
I asked the patent-right man what commission he would allow if I would find a customer. He said twenty-five per cent. In less than two hours I had sold a county for one hundred dollars. I received the twenty-five dollars, and after settling my board bill, started for home.
On my way I stopped off a day in Cincinnati. While passing by a cheap second-class hotel, a voice came from an upper window: "Halloo, Johnston!" I halted, looked up and "hallooed" back. A lady, with her head projecting out of the window, said: "Come up in the sitting-room." I did as requested.
As I opened the door, she stepped forward and extended her hand, with the remark: "How are you, Prof. Johnston? Where did you leave Prof. De Voe?" I answered the question, adding: "Madam, you know me, but I can't place you, although your countenance looks familiar."
She then stepped to a door leading into a bedroom, and asked me to look inside and see if I saw anything that looked natural.
The very first article my eyes fell upon was a familiar-looking valise, with the name, "Prof. De Voe," printed on it, and the same one that I had frequently carried and had checked, on our recent horse-training trip.
I then turned to the lady, and at once saw every expression of the Professor's face in hers, and realized for the first time how I had been deceived. Standing there before me, with the form and countenance of Prof. De Voe, was one of the handsomest and most graceful young ladies I had ever met. Instantly there came to mind the small feet, and the flimsy excuse for wearing large boots. I also called to mind the sweet soprano voice while singing, the lady's gold watch that was pawned, the fact of the Professor having always persisted in looking under the bed before retiring, and the timidity shown at the sudden appearance of a mouse in the room; and one time in particular, when the landlord where we stopped asked if we would occupy the same room and bed, I objected seriously, telling him that I didn't like to sleep with any man.
The incident just related is very unusual, and far from the range of most people's experience.
The old adage, "Truth is stranger than fiction" is ably illustrated here. And to prove its authenticity, I will say that I have letters in my possession from Prof. De Voe, who is living with her second husband, in Cincinnati, in which mention is made of our experience.
I of course felt humiliated that I had traveled six weeks with a lady as partner without discovering the fact, but felt nevertheless that it was not due to my stupidity, as I could readily see how perfect her disguise was.
She explained to me that her husband—Prof. De Voe—had skipped to Canada, through having financial trouble, and had left her with but little money, several suits of clothes which fitted her nicely, and a fair knowledge of horse-training, in which she felt certain to succeed. I will here add that since my residence in Chicago I purchased a very handsome balky horse for ninety dollars, which I succeeded in breaking within ten days by Prof. De Voe's method, and afterwards sold him for five hundred dollars.
While at Cincinnati I received a message summoning me home, where I arrived the following morning, and two days later became the father of a bouncing eleven-pound boy.
On my arrival home I explained to my folks "just how it all happened."
My mother said it showed just how bright I was, to travel six weeks with a man and not know he was a woman.
Mr. Keefer said he guessed there was no harm done.
CHAPTER XIII.
ENGAGED IN THE PATENT-RIGHT BUSINESS—MY TRADE WITH BROTHER LONG—THE COMPROMISE—MY SECOND TRADE WITH A DEACON—HIS SUNDAY HONESTY AND WEEK-DAY ECONOMY—A NEW PARTNER—THE LANDLORD AND HIS CREAM BISCUITS—HOW WE HEADED HIM OFF—A TRADE FOR A BALKY HORSE—HOW WE PERSUADED HIM TO GO—OUR FINAL SETTLEMENT WITH THE LANDLORD.
The next day I received a letter from an old gentleman living at Bronson, Mich., who had just patented a dropper for a reaping-machine, and wanted me to sell County rights for him, and establish agencies. As a drowning man clutches at a straw, so did I embrace this opportunity, and instructed him to send on his papers at once, with the model. He did so. On the day I received it my mother and myself were walking down street, when I noticed her bowing to an elderly gentleman driving a handsome pair of bay horses. I asked his name. She said it was Brother Long.
"Brother Long," said I; "and who is Brother Long?"
"Why, he is a deacon in our church."
"Oh, I see. I wonder if he wouldn't like to trade those horses for patent rights?" I ventured to remark.
She sarcastically observed that she would like to see me trade him out of those beautiful horses.
That afternoon I called at his house with my model, and as I stepped in, said: "How-do-you-do, Brother Long?" He smiled pleasantly, and extending his hand inquired my name. "Why," said I, "I am a son of your sister Keefer. Johnston is my name. Mr. Keefer is my step-father." "O, I understand. Take a chair; lay off your hat. Aren't you the young man who led in prayer the other evening?"
I told him I didn't remember just what evening I did attend prayer-meeting last, but didn't think I was the one he alluded to.
I then said: "Brother Long, I am representing Warner's patent dropper for a reaping-machine, and am desirous of making you agent for this County. I don't ask you to invest anything, nor to give your signature; neither do I give you mine. I simply leave you a model, and you are to sell as many as possible, on which we allow you a regular commission of twenty-five per cent. Or, if you see fit to buy a few counties, you can then make fifty per cent. on all you sell in your own territory; and should you sell any County rights for us we would allow you all over one hundred dollars that you got for them." He said he wouldn't care to invest the cash, although he would like to own enough County rights to make him a nice business.
I then told him I would trade for a good team of horses. He said he owned a first-class team, which he held at six hundred dollars.
I at once saw that he wasn't very slow himself in dealing, as I had been informed that he had offered his team for three hundred dollars. He said he didn't think he would care to let the team go and take it all in County rights; but he would take two counties and four hundred dollars in cash.
I looked the horses over, and liked them first rate; and thought they would make a fine pair on the road. I then said: "Brother Long, I am anxious to get you interested in this invention, and I'll make you an offer, although I may not be able to carry out my part of the contract; but if I don't, you will be one county ahead anyway."
He asked what my proposition would be. I told him I would give him Sandusky County and four hundred dollars, provided I could induce Mr. Warner, the inventor, to advance that amount. And as evidence of my good faith and to bind the bargain, I would deed him the County then and there, and he was to keep the team till the fifteenth of the next month, when, if I didn't take them and pay over the four hundred dollars, we would forfeit the County. He said that was perfectly satisfactory. Before leaving him I remarked that I felt certain that just as soon as he saw what a good thing he had, he would gladly take County rights for the balance due on the horses.
He said: "Possibly."
He commenced operations at once. In a very few days he came rushing up to Mr. Keefer's house, and with much excitement demanded a deed for four more counties. I made it out for him, and asked if he wanted to pay currency or give a check for it.
"O, no," he said; "Neither. I want to sell them to a customer of mine, and then I'll bring you the money."
I informed him that such a proceeding would be contrary to my orders and custom of doing business.
He then suggested that I take the horses and give him the deed, as I had bargained for them anyhow.
I agreed to this, and he delivered them to me on presentation of the deed.
As he left the house he smiled triumphantly, and holding up the deed, said: "I'll clear just five hundred dollars on this!"
I enjoyed a few rides, and was about to trade for a carriage and harness, when one evening a day or two after our deal, I came into the dining room from the back door of Mr. Keefer's house, and heard the sound of a familiar voice issuing from the sitting-room. It said: "Sister Keefer, I have made a great mistake. Will you induce your son to trade back?"
I stepped inside, and Brother Long came forward in his usual solemn, prayerful manner, and taking me by the hand, said: "Brother Johnston, may the Lord have mercy upon us."
I said: "Amen, Brother Long; what can I do for you? How many counties do you want this time?"
"My dear young brother, I have more counties than I need, more than I can use."
"But," I said, "you haven't any more than you bargained for."
"Indeed, Brother Johnston, I can never sell it all. Will you please trade back? This is my first experience in the patent-right business, and pray to the Lord it shall be the last."
I asked what had become of his customer, and inquired his name.
Brother Long went on then to explain how an Irishman, living neighbor to him, had called at his house and, after seeing the model, went half crazy over it, and wanted to buy ten counties. He agreed to pay in the neighborhood of a thousand dollars, and in his enthusiasm made a deposit of "tin dollars, as ividence of me good faith." On the strength of that sale he had made the trade.
"Well, Great Heavens!" said I, "aren't you satisfied with five or six hundred dollars profit, on a little deal like that?"
"Yes," he answered; "had I sold the counties the profits would have suited all right."
"But you just told me you had sold them, and the Irishman had deposited ten dollars to bind the bargain."
"True, he did," said Brother Long, "but he came back the next day after I had traded, and said: 'A divil a bit of a county can I take at all, at all. Me old wife threatens to scald me, if I bring even one county into the house!'"
"Well, but you kept his ten dollars, didn't you?"
"Of course I did," he yelled out.
"Well, then, you ought to be satisfied," I ventured to remark.
"What! Satisfied with ten dollars?"
"Yes; with all these County rights besides."
"Brother Johnston," said he, "will you trade back, and give me the team for the counties?"
I answered: "I am not trading for territory, Brother Long. I am selling it."
About this time the greater portion of Brother Long's family appeared on the scene, and were re-inforced by my mother in their entreaties to me to trade back. She said it was too bad for Brother Long, and I must do it.
Mr. Keefer said: "It did beat the d——l!"
I then told Brother Long that I was like him in this respect, that I wasn't doing business exclusively for glory; and that a few dollars, just at that stage of the game, would be a matter of great consideration with me.
He then offered me two dollars if I would trade back.
"Well, Brother Long," said I, "you begin to talk now as I want to hear you, except that your figures are a little below my idea of a fair compensation for my trouble."
He then anxiously inquired what my ideas were of what would be right.
"About one hundred and fifty dollars," I answered.
"O, Heavens! what shall I do? Sister Keefer, what shall I do? Shall we engage in prayer? What shall I do? What shall I do?"
Then they surrounded me, and made a general clamor for a compromise.
I dropped to a hundred dollars.
He offered twenty-five.
I fell to seventy-five.
He offered to split the difference, and he to return all the territory except one county.
After thinking the matter all over, and considering that he was a nice old gentleman and a Methodist brother, I concluded to trade back.
A few days later Brother Long and I met in the Post-office just when the mail was being distributed, and the place crowded. We were the center of attraction.
He smiled grimly at me, and while passing by said: "The fools are not all dead yet, are they, Johnston?"
"No, Brother Long," I answered; "and there is no fool like an old fool."
About three weeks later I started on a tour through Ohio, making several agents and selling a few Township and County rights.
Another little experience with a Methodist deacon will come in here, and I will tell it. He was a farmer, living a few miles south of Marion, Ohio.
I had hired a rig, in the above town, to drive into the country to meet a gentleman with whom I had previously made an engagement. When our business was finished and I was about to leave, he bantered me to call on his neighbor, Deacon ——, who had a notorious reputation for his hatred of agents and peddlers.
As I always considered it good practice to meet such men, I was glad of the chance to make this particular visit. I reached the house just as the deacon and his sons came in for dinner.
I hitched my horse, and when about to pass through the gate the front door opened, and the man's voice, at its highest pitch, shouted out: "Stop right where you are sir. Stop; stop, I tell you. Stop!"
I put my hand to my ear, as if hard of hearing, and imitating as nearly as I could the tone peculiar to deaf persons, said: "No, no, thank you; I don't care to put my horse out. I can feed her after I get to Marion. No, no; never mind; just as much obliged." By this time I had reached the door, and passed directly inside.
I had the floor.
And I did all the talking for the first half hour.
The old gentleman concluded that I was an exception to the general run of agents. He then began talking religion, as soon as I quit talking Patent rights. He said I ought to make my peace with God; and when I replied that God and I had always been on splendid terms, he became almost frantic, and said that I was worse than any lightning-rod agent, and added that there never was an agent of any kind who ever pretended to tell the truth, and he wouldn't believe any of them under oath. I then said I wouldn't expect him to believe my statements, so would leave the question entirely with him and his sons whether they would deal or not. They soon began talking business to the point.
I figured on paper, and showed how one son could make more money in a single year, with one County right, than they could all make on the farm in two years.
My price for the County was one hundred dollars.
They proposed to give fifty, and I offered to split the difference and take seventy-five.
This was satisfactory, provided I would take half cash, and a note for the balance payable in one year. I agreed to it, if the old gentleman would go to Marion with me and help negotiate the note.
He said he had got to go to town anyhow, and would ride with me; and the boys could drive over after him that evening.
After making out the necessary papers and receiving my cash, we started on the turn-pike road towards Marion.
While riding along, the old gentleman gave me some very wholesome advice, saying he didn't do it because he really thought me to be a very bad fellow, but he wanted to see every young man grow up to be truthful, moral, honorable and upright. I thanked him, and told him I believed he was a mighty nice man. He said that was the reputation he bore thereabouts.
While driving leisurely along, conversing on different topics, we came to a blacksmith's shop on a three-corners, and the old gentleman remarked that when we came to the toll-gate, if I would tell the old lady gate-keeper that I came in at that shop, I could save some toll; adding, that she needn't know but I picked him up somewhere on the road.
"Yes, that's so," I answered. "That's a mighty good scheme."
He seemed to feel highly elated at suggesting such a brilliant idea.
As we were approaching the toll-gate, I said: "I wish you would pay my toll, and when we get to town I will get some change and hand it back to you."
When we stopped at the gate he asked: "How much?"
The old lady says: "How far have you come on the pike?"
He turned to me as if expecting me to answer; but I was suddenly taken with a severe fit of coughing.
The deacon said: "This gentleman came in at the blacksmith shop."
"Four cents," said the gate-keeper. We drove on, and when I began to laugh he asked what was up.
"Well, I'll tell you; I was just laughing to think how much more I am like Jim Fisk than you are."
"How so?"
"Well, sir, I might possibly tell eight lies for a dollar, but I wouldn't tell one for a shilling."
He seemed much chagrined, when I put the matter before him as I did. He said, in explanation, that he never believed in toll-gates, anyhow, had always advocated free turn-pikes, and thought it little harm to economize at their expense.
After discounting his note at the bank, I returned home to see how "the boy" was getting on.
A few days later I took the agency for another Patent, and gave up the dropper, which was too hard to sell. An acquaintance joined me, when we started on what proved to be a red-hot Patent-right campaign, and with the usual results of all Patent-right schemes.
When ready for a start, we had just about money enough to pay our expenses to Napoleon, Ohio, where we had decided to go. On arriving there we took quarters at a first-class hotel, and began "hus'ling" to find a customer. When we had been there about ten days, the landlord, a very pleasant little gentleman, called my partner one side, and said he guessed he would have to ask us for a little money.
"Well," said Frank, "all right, sir; all right, sir. Make out your cussed old bill. I am not in the habit of being asked for money before I am ready to leave. However, you can make out your bill, and receipt it in full, sir!"
"Oh, no, no!" he remonstrated; "I'll do nothing of the kind, sir. It was not my intention to insult you, Let it go. Let it go. It's all right. I meant nothing out of the way."
Frank cooled down; and as he passed by me said, sotto voce; "I guess we can stay all summer now, if we want to."
While at Napoleon, we had been in correspondence with several parties in different towns, who were known to me as traders. After spending two weeks there, we received a letter requesting us to visit a neighboring town, where there was a prospect for a good trade. We had succeeded in selling one Township right, which brought us cash enough for incidental expenses.
Hence we were unable to pay our hotel bill, and as the landlord was not in the office when we were ready to go, we simply left a note saying we would return later.
We were gone two weeks, barely paying expenses, and returned to Napoleon. Rushing into the hotel office, we grasped the landlord by both hands, saying: "Did you think we had jumped our board bill, landlord?"
"Well, by golly, I didn't know what to think of it."
"Oh, pshaw! You ought to know us by this time. How are the nice cream biscuit? Suppose you've got some for tea, haven't you? Guess we'll wash. Put us down for a good room, landlord. How are the folks, landlord?"
He said he had thought all the time we would turn up again, some day. We then explained the nature of our business, and told him he needn't be surprised if we left suddenly at any time; but he could always look for us back, sooner or later. We remained two weeks longer, with about the same success that had attended us before.
One day the landlord pulled a chair up by me, in the office, and said very mildly and pleasantly,
"Mr. Johnston, I have never yet asked you for money, and——"
"No," I quickly interrupted, "you never have, and I certainly respect you for it. If there is anything on this earth I dislike, it is a penurious, suspicious, narrow-minded landlord—always dunning his guests, and treating them like tramps. And I'd leave a man's house as soon as I could settle up and get out, if I was ever dunned by him."
"Well, I going to say, I never make a practice of dunning gentlemen who stop with me, and——"
"Well, that's right, landlord, that's right, and you'll make friends, in the long run, by not doing so. When I get ready to quit a hotel for good, I've got sense enough to ask for my bill, and then settle in full—and that is all anyone can ask for. How about the cream biscuit for supper, landlord?"
He said he guessed they were going to have some; and then asked how business was, anyway.
I told him our business had almost frightened us.
He said that was good.
Frank, who was sitting behind the stove listening to the conversation, said, as I passed by him a moment later: "I guess he'll lay still now."
About this time we received a letter from a sewing-machine agent at Hicksville, saying he would trade a machine for a County right. We left forthwith, without even bidding the landlord good-bye.
It took us four days to trade for the machine, and money enough to pay our expenses for that time.
We shipped the machine to Napoleon, and returned there ourselves on the first train. When we entered the hotel, we both rushed for the proprietor, saying, as we grasped his hands:
"How are you, landlord? How is everything? Did you think we had left for good, landlord? Hope you didn't think we had jumped our board-bill? Guess we'll take a wash. Put us down for a good room, landlord. How are the cream biscuit? Suppose we'll have some for supper. How are all the folks?"
He looked a little woe-begone, and said he was glad to see us back; and he knew we would turn up soon.
The next morning we had the sewing-machine set up in the hotel office. This seemed to console the landlord somewhat, as it was a brand new machine.
However, he appeared crest-fallen, a day or two later, when we sold it for forty dollars cash, and pocketed the money, saying nothing.
In a couple of days we took another sudden departure, for Bryan, Ohio, where we traded for an old horse, harness and wagon.
The horse proved to be an obstreperous, balky thing, and as contrary as a mule. I used all of my knowledge of horse-training, with no effect. One day, just when he had balked, we met some boys near a corn-crib, on their way home from fishing. One of them had a long fishing-rod and a stout line, I gave him twenty-five cents for it and asked him to bring an ear of corn from the field. He did so, and after tying the corn to the end of the line, I held the pole over the horse's head, and let the corn hang about two feet from his nose. He started right off, and we had no further difficulty in persuading him to go.
