THREE DAYS CO-PARTNERSHIP WITH A SIDE SHOW.—PAGE 483.
I accompanied him down town at noon, and on our way asked what he had to show. He answered:
"The Fat Woman, the Dwarf, the Albino and the Circassian Girl."
When we came to his hotel he asked me in and introduced me to his wife, two sons and a daughter.
I asked him where the show people were.
"I have introduced you to all of them."
"But where is your Fat Woman?"
He pointed to his wife.
"Why, Great Heavens," I shouted, "she is not fat; she is as thin as a match and as long as a wagon track; how are you going to make her fat? And the Circassian Girl—where is she?"
He pointed to his daughter, whose hair was all done up in tins, and said to me:
"Never mind about the show. Every thing will be all right. You get there by one o'clock, and we'll be there ready for business."
Sure enough, they were there. The Fat Woman in her long silk robe, and as big as a hogshead.
The Dwarf in his swallow-tailed coat and wearing a plug hat, and his face deeply furrowed with wrinkles.
The Albino boy with his white hair, but lacking the pink eyes.
The Circassian Girl with her dark bushy hair standing out in all directions from her head.
The Albino played the fife, the Dwarf the snare drum, the Circassian lady the cymbals, and the Fat Woman the base-drum.
The first thing to be done was to erect a small stage on the outside, and the entire party came out, and after stationing themselves in proper order, opened up with music.
While this unique band was thus engaged, my new partner mounted the box and began talking at lightning speed. Crowds of people gathered, and after viewing the pictures of the living wonders on the canvas, and listening to the glowing description given of the "Greatest of living curiosities," they began pouring in and kept it up till the tent was packed full. Then the music ceased and the performers went inside, and the Professor singled them out and delivered a lecture on each one, telling their age, nationality, etc., after which he immediately announced the conclusion of the performance and motioned every one out.
As soon as the tent was cleared the band again made its appearance on the outside, and after attracting a crowd and filling the tent again, would step inside to be exhibited, and this was repeated with immense success till the last day and last hour of the Fair.
It was amusing to see the people gather around and stare at the band of musicians while they were playing on the outside, and then step up and buy tickets to go inside and take another look at them; and, as there was no fault-finding, I suppose they were all satisfied.
I drove my auction wagon as close to the tent as possible, and as fast as I could work the crowd with my goods I would turn them over to my side-show partner, recommending it as absolutely the most singular and remarkable show I had ever seen.
I took the precaution to hire a man to take the tickets, so I had no occasion to interfere with the show; but the last day, in the afternoon, the Professor became almost exhausted; and leaving my wagon I took the blower's stand and relieved him, and through the excitement, soon discovered myself talking Curiosities with as much earnestness as if Barnum's whole menagerie had been inside the tent.
When we figured up and had deducted all expenses, we found ourselves six hundred dollars ahead, which was divided between us; but I had talked so much that I couldn't speak above a whisper.
I wrote home to my wife narrating my success in the show business exhibiting another man's wife and children, and suggested that she get herself and the little boy ready to start at a moment's notice, as I was liable to send for them very soon and start a circus of our own.
As I had no particular taste for that sort of business, however, I thought it best to quit while I was ahead. Consequently I stuck to auctioneering.
My business increased so rapidly as to render me unable to do any thing more with the polish, for which I was very glad. I made several horse and wagon trades, paying boot whenever it was necessary, as I made it a practice of always trading for something better, till at last a nice pair of horses and carriage became my property, with two trunks of goods.
I then worked north through Michigan, and began making regular street parades prior to opening my sale. I would drive around town ringing an auction bell and crying:
"Auction, auction! Everybody turn out upon the streets to-night! Bargains, bargains and no impositions!"
My success was almost invariably splendid.
