JEWELRY ASSOCIATIONS OR UNIONS.
A recent publication contains the following clever description of the way in which these associations are managed.
No doubt these enterprises are of the purest benevolence—at least such is the impression their projectors seek to convey. That everybody who wants a gold watch for a dollar may know how to get it, we copy the following extract from the advertisement—without charge, on this occasion:
'One million certificates, bearing upon their face the names of the articles as above enumerated, are each inclosed in plain envelopes, and sealed, undistinguishable one from another, mixed and placed in a repository, without choice, and they are drawn as ordered. The sealed envelopes, containing certificates marked with the name of the article, description, and marked price it entitles the holder to, will be sent by mail to any address at twenty-five cents each; on receipt of the certificates, the purchaser ascertains the exact article he is entitled to, which he can obtain upon the return of the certificate and one dollar to the office of the Association.'
Not wishing, however, to encourage too sanguine hopes, we would add an account of the success of an experiment made last year by an incredulous individual, who was so curious as to find out how it was these people made money by selling gold watches for a dollar. He spent a hundred dollars for the 'certificates' above referred to, and found himself the lucky possessor of a lot of paper tickets purporting to represent property to the value of two thousand one hundred and fifty- three dollars, and this property he was entitled to receive on the further payment of four hundred and fifty-eight dollars. Not wishing, however, to impoverish these rashly-benevolent Samaritans, and reflecting, perhaps, that he had already spent one hundred dollars, for which he had as yet received nothing but 'certificates,' he selected a hundred of those that promised the most valuable articles, and sent them for redemption—paying another one hundred dollars for the articles. He received a lot of watches, jewelry, gold pens, etc., of which the nominal value was five hundred and ninety-nine dollars.
Very good investment of two hundred dollars, was it not? But stop a minute. We said nominal value. As the articles were all gold and silver—at any rate, professed to be—it was easy to ascertain their actual value; so they were sent to the United States Assay Office, melted up, and a certificate of the net proceeds returned. And how much does the ingenious reader suppose this five hundred and ninety-nine dollars of gold and silver proved to be worth? Just nine dollars and sixty-two cents ($9.62)! That was what our friend got for the two hundred dollars cash he had invested. And that is about what anybody will get who chooses to invest money in enterprises of this kind.
The certificate jewelry business is, in fact, under whatever name carried on, nothing but a gigantic fraud, extending far and wide over the country, and causing many innocent but rather green people losses they can ill afford. During the war, the soldiers were cheated enormously by it. Millions of dollars have been paid for utterly worthless stuff.
But it is not only in bogus jewelry that prizes are warranted. Gold pens are held out as an inducement. What village poetaster or scribbler for the weekly journal—enjoying a reputation among his acquaintances for 'smart writing'—imagining himself a second Byron or another Sylvanus Cobb, Jr., but what likes to sport a gold pen with 'silver case' before the admiring eyes of friends or the envious glances of rivals, as the instrument with which the flow of melody or pathetic romance in the 'Trumpetown Blower' is produced. By such the circular of the '——-Gold Pen Co.' sent through the post-office, is warmly welcomed. A careful perusal, a comparison of the different styles and prices, and then, of course, a remittance. The pen arrives in a handsome velvet-lined box. A glance and the possessor is entranced; he tries it, it writes smoothly, and forthwith it is cleaned, placed in the pocket and carelessly shown by accident' to friends. Another trial—alas! the ink sticks; the pen corrodes; the gold comes off; the silver holder turns black; polishing fails to produce a shine, and eventually it is apparent that a swindle has been perpetrated and that the 'cheap gold pen' is, after all, but copper or brass; thousands of these pens are sent in a week by express to all parts of the country and as many dupes made to pay fifty times their value to the adroit swindlers who manufacture them.
"The postmaster at Wakeman, Huron county, Ohio, having heard of this— Pen Co., sent for a circular, which was at once forwarded. Selecting a certain pen he remitted the money for it; in reply he received an old copper pen not worth three cents; he immediately remonstrated in a second letter, and a third, of which no notice was taken, and the unfortunate United States official was obliged to consider himself swindled. This is but an instance of many."
Remember, dear reader, there is no royal road to fortune. Keep your money, or invest it more sensibly, for there is not one single gift association in the world in which you will meet with anything but the vilest deceit and dishonesty. You will be robbed in any and all of them.