MY ADVENTURES REHEARSED TO JACK RANDOLPH.—"MY DEAR FELLOW, YOU DON'T SAY SO!"—"'PON MY LIFE, YES."—"BY JOVE! OLD CHAP, HOW CLOSE YOU'VE BEEN! YOU JUST HAVE NO END OF SECRETS. AND WHAT'S BECOME OF THE LADY? WHO IS SHE?"
Who is she? Ay. Who, indeed? Hadn't I been torturing my brain for seventy-nine hours, sleeping as well as waking, with that one unanswered and apparently unanswerable question?
"Who is she?" repeated Jack.
"Well," said I, "that's the very thing that I wish to find out, and I want you to help me in it. I told you that she didn't leave any message—"
"But, didn't you find out her name?"
"No."
"By Jove! You're a queer lot. Why, I'd have found out her name the first thing."
"But I didn't—and now I want your help to find out not only her name, but herself."
At this Jack rose, loaded his pipe solemnly, and, with the air of one who is making preparations for a work of no common kind, lighted it, flung himself back in the easy-chair, and sent forth vast volumes of smoke, which might have been considered as admirably symbolical of the state of our minds.
"Well, Macrorie," said he, at last, "I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd go round to all the hotels, and examine the lists."
"Pooh!"
"Well, then, take the directory and hunt up all the names."
"Nonsense!"
"Why 'nonsense?'"
"Because I don't know her name. Didn't I impress that upon your mind?"
"By Jove!" cried Jack Randolph, after which he again relapsed into silence.
"See here, Macrorie," said he, at length.
"I have it."
"What?"
"Go round next Sunday to all the churches."
"What's the use of that?"
"Go round to the churches," repeated Jack, "scan every bonnet—and then, if you don't see her, why then, why—go to the photographic saloons. You'll be sure to find her picture there. By Jove! Why, Macrorie, the game's all in your own hands. These photographic saloons are better than a whole force of detective police. There's your chance, old man. You'll find her. Do that, and you're all right. Oh, yes—you'll find her, as sure as my name's Jack Randolph."
"No go, Jack," said I. "You see I couldn't recognize her even if I were to see her."
"Couldn't what?"
"Couldn't recognize her."
"You surely would know her if you saw her."
"I don't think I should."
"Well, of all the confounded fixes that ever I met with, this is the greatest!"
"That's the peculiarity of my present situation."
Jack relapsed into smoky silence.
"The fact is," said Jack, after a brief pause, "we've got to go to work systematically. Now, first of all, I want to know what she looks like."
"Well, that's the very thing I don't know."
"Nonsense! You must know something about it. Is she a blonde or a brunette? You can answer that, at least."
"I'm not sure that I can."
"What! don't you know even the color of her complexion?"
"When I saw her, she was as white as a sheet. Even her lips were bloodless. You see, she was frightened out of her wits."
"Well, then, her hair—her hair, man! Was that dark or light?"
"I didn't see it."
"Didn't see it?"
"No. You see it was covered by her hood. Think of that driving sleet. She had to cover herself up as much as she could from the terrible pelting of the storm."
"Well, then, I'll ask only one question more," said Jack, dryly. "I hope you'll be able to answer it. A great deal depends upon it. In fact, upon a true answer to this question the whole thing rests. Gather up all your faculties now, old chap, and try to answer me correctly. No shirking now—no humbug, for I won't stand it. On your life, Macrorie, and, by all your future hopes, answer me this—was your friend—a woman or a man?"
At the beginning of this solemn question, I had roused myself and sat upright, but at its close I flung myself down in disgust.
"Well," said Jack, "why don't you answer?"
"Jack," said I, severely, "I'm not in the humor for chaff."
"Chaff! my dear fellow, I only want to get a basis of action—a base of operations. Are you sure your friend was a woman? I'm in earnest—really."
"That's all rubbish—of course she was a woman—a lady—young— beautiful—but the anguish which she felt made her face seem like that of Niobe, or—or—well like some marble statue representing woe or despair, and all that sort of thing. What's the use of humbugging a fellow? Why not talk sense, or at least hold your tongue?"
"Don't row, old boy. You were so utterly in the dark about your friend that I wanted to see how far your knowledge extended. I consider now that a great point is settled, and we have something to start from. Very well. She was really a woman!"
"A lady," said I.
"And a lady," repeated Jack.
"Young?"
"Young."
"And beautiful as an angel," I interposed, enthusiastically.
"And beautiful as an angel," chimed in Jack. "By-the-by, Macrorie, do you think you would know her by her voice?"
"Well, n—no, I don't think I would. You see, she didn't say much, and what she did say was wrung out of her by terror or despair. The tones of that voice might be very different if she were talking about—well, the weather, for instance. The voice of a woman in a storm, and in the face of death, is not exactly the same in tone or modulation as it is when she is quietly speaking the commonplaces of the drawing-room."
"There's an immense amount of truth in that," said Jack, "and I begin to understand and appreciate your position."
"Never, while I live," said I, earnestly, "will I forget the face of that woman as I held her fainting form in my arms, and cheered her, and dragged her back to life; never will I forget the thrilling tones of her voice, as she implored me to leave her and save myself; but yet, as I live, I don't think that I could recognize her face or her voice if I were to encounter her now, under ordinary circumstances, in any drawing-room. Do you understand?"
"Dimly," said Jack; "yes, in fact, I may say thoroughly. You have an uncommonly forcible way of putting it too. I say, Macrorie, you talk just like our chaplain."
"Oh, bother the chaplain!"
"That's the very thing I intend to do before long."
"Well, it'll be the best thing for you. Married and done for, you know."
"Nonsense! I don't mean that. It's something else—the opposite of matrimony."
"What is it?"
"Oh, never mind, I'll let you know when the time comes. It's a little idea of my own to countermine the widow. But come—don't let's wander off. Your business is the thing to be considered now—not mine. Now listen to me."
"Well."
"Let's put your case in a plain, simple, matter-of-fact way. You want to find a person whose name you don't know, whose face you can't recognize, and whose voice even is equally unknown. You can't give any clew to her at all. You don't know whether she lives in Quebec or in New York. You only know she is a woman?"
"A lady," said I.
"Oh, of course—a lady."
"And an English lady," I added. "I could tell that by the tone of her voice."
"She may have been Canadian."
"Yes. Many of the Canadian ladies have the English tone."
"Well, that may be all very true," said Jack, after some moments' thought; "but at the same time it isn't any guide at all. Macrorie, my boy, it's evident that in this instance all the ordinary modes of investigation are no good. Streets, churches, drawing-rooms, photographic saloons, hotel registers, directories, and all that sort of thing are utterly useless. We must try some other plan."
"That's a fact," said I, "but what other plan can be thought of?"
Jack said nothing for some time.
He sat blowing and puffing, and puffing and blowing, apparently bringing all the resources of his intellect to bear upon this great problem. At last he seemed to hit upon an idea.
"I have it!" he exclaimed. "I have it. It's the only thing left."
"What's that?"
"Macrorie, my boy," said Jack, with an indescribable solemnity, "I'll tell you what we must do. Let's try—