CHAPTER XXI.
A MILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS WITH A ONE DOLLAR CAPITAL.
Soon after my encounter at S—— with the unspeakable W——, I met Major St. A——, who gave a cordial invitation to myself and family to become his guests in his new town of T——, with a view to securing our cooperation in the development of his multitudinous schemes. This invitation we accepted, and very early one beautiful morning in March, my wife, four children and myself, with driver and guide, embarked on a "prairie schooner," drawn by three horses, for the promised land.
It was an ideal drive through many miles of fragrant, towering pine trees, fording beautiful lakes, catching fish, shooting game, camping for refreshment on the banks of crystal clear brooks. The oldest girls would ride on the horses' backs, chase quails, pluck the wayside flowers, occasionally watching the flight of paroquettes flashing like diamonds through the air, listening to the mockingbirds filling the woods with their exquisite songs, and inhaling as it were the ether of the immortal Gods, the matchless, perfumed, life-giving Florida air.
All at once, with little warning, as is usual in semi-tropical lands, the night fell, and our learned guide suddenly found that he had lost the trail. The owls hooted, the wild-cats screamed, likewise the "kids," with overpowering fear. We plunged ahead at random, when we suddenly found the water pouring through the bottom of our "schooner." The horses reared and plunged, snorting in terror probably at the near approach of some water snake or alligator.
We might have been all drowned, had we not discovered a lantern hung in a tree by our expectant friends, towards which we steered our course to dry land. By the aid of the light we found the trail, and at length reached the Major's hotel, hungry and tired. Here we found our embarrassed host haggling and swearing with a bearer of provisions who refused to leave the goods until he received his payment therefor.
Our landlord appeared to be "dead broke," but finally persuaded the reluctant provision-dealer to go away with his pockets filled with "I.O.U.'s" instead of cash, and about midnight on the verge of starvation we fully appreciated an abundant feast. We soon found that our, enthusiastic friend was trying to do a million dollar business on a one dollar capital. He was building two railroads, running a steamboat line, a hotel, a sawmill, building a town and a fifty thousand dollar opera house for a one hundred population town, with not a dollar in his pocket.
[Illustration: Flight of the Governor and Staff.]
The next day we sailed on his steamer to meet the governor of the state, and his staff who were invited to attend a ball in his honor. The crew was mutinous on account of receiving no pay, the antiquated machinery broke down every few minutes, and the Major had a fierce quarrel with a negro minister who had paid first-class fare and refused to take second-class quarters, to which all colored folks were forced at the muzzle of the revolver, and a bloody race battle was only avoided by the fact that the negroes were entirely unarmed.
At length, loading the deck with wild ducks, and fish that fairly jumped into the little boat to avoid their enemies, the ferocious gar-fish, we took the governor and staff on board, and floundered back at a snail's pace to T——. At the landing, we boarded a dilapidated street car drawn by mules, for the hotel.
Soon—crash! bang, a rail gave way, sending the dignified governor,—stove-pipe hat flying in the air, coat-tails covering his head,—into a ditch, his long legs kicking frantically to extricate his head from the mud. We rescued him and staff with difficulty from the filth, looking like a bedraggled pack of half-drowned rats.
Finally we reached the hotel, when the colored orchestra from Jacksonville rushed upon our host demanding their pay in advance, with furious oaths and unclassical imprecations. In some way, the embarrassed diplomat silenced their clamors; then the colored waiters struck for their pay, and "razors were flying in the air." The furious landlord at last quieted their clamor with a shotgun, and at about midnight the grand march was sounded, and a nearly famished crowd made desperate efforts to look cheerful and "trip the light fantastic toe." All earthly horrors have an end, and in the wee small hours a starving multitude was treated to a barbacue by our half-crazed host.
Almost every white man in this town sold chain-lightning whiskey, and in our short walk from dance hall to hotel we were obliged to jump over the prostrate forms of drunken darkies.
As in the lowlands, bordering upon large bodies of water, in all tropical and semi-tropical countries, we found, to our horror and dismay, the mosquitoes in ferocious, bloodthirsty swarms which rendered life not worth the living; so, as soon as we could, without seriously offending our host, we took our flight, at least what little there was left of us, to the delightful highlands of Marion County.
Here, free from the horrors of mosquitoes, we recruited our attenuated bodies at the elegant Ocala House, thence by rail to Jacksonville where we took the steamer for home. Off Hatteras we encountered a wild storm which sent our great boat well-nigh to the stars, then with an almost perpendicular plunge, almost to Davy Jones' locker, until, with the nauseating sea-sickness, we were afraid, first that we should die and later we only feared lest we should not die.
At last the young cyclone subsided, and we sailed over a tranquil sea into Boston harbor, thence by rail to our Bay state home. At Jacksonville, by the way, we had an experience quite characteristic of those ante-free-delivery days of old. I went to the post-office for our mail, having but a few minutes to spare before the departure of the north-bound train. To my disgust, I found a line of negroes nearly half a mile in length waiting their turns for calling for letters. One would step to the window and in an exasperatingly in-no-hurry way, say: "Anything for Andrew Jackson, sah?" After a long delay—"no!"
"Do yer 'spect dere may be soon, sah?"
"Did you expect any?" came the reply.
"No sah, but sumbudy might write, sah."
"Gwan, next!" Then some white man in a hurry would step up to next—"here's a quarter for your place, git aout!" The darky would pocket his money with a broad grin, and but for his ears, the top of his head would be an island.
I could not wait, and would not bribe, so went to the door of the office, and kicked and banged furiously. "G'way fum de doo'! What de hell you do on de doo'?" came from the inside.
"I'm a government officer from Washington," I shouted. "Open the door or I'll knock it down." Out popped the "cullud pusson" profuse in apologies. I grabbed my mail and rushed for the train in the very nick of time.