CHAPTER VI.
The man who can invent a good working substitute for honesty has yet to be invented himself.—Eastern Proverb.
Great were the rejoicings in Ubikwi when the news was announced that the young Prince Muley was about to wed the daughter of the mighty King of Nhulpar, becoming thereby prospective heir not only to the Pachalik of Ubikwi, but also to a great Sultanship and a vastly greater Kingdom. The people rejoiced with great joy, not reflecting that, perchance, the cost of sustaining the triple dignities might fall heavy on their own shoulders. But it hath ever been the way of the populace to take delight in increased burdens, provided the packages only be gaudily decorated; wherein they differ from the camel and the ass and other brute beasts, which have no appreciation of æsthetics.
The merchants, especially, who everywhere boast of being a conservative class, that would rather pay ten piastres of tribute than one for the suppression of brigandage, hastened to lay their loyal congratulations before the Pasha. Shacabac received them affably, and in reply to their address delivered a discourse fraught with practical wisdom, of which unhappily only a few fragments have been preserved to this day; but these are not without their value to traders of another and a foreign generation. He said:—
“We have all more or less to do with Commerce. We buy goods, and sometimes pay for them. We sell the precious products of our hands or brains at the best price we can get. If the buyer pays up, we are sorry that we did not charge him more. If he fails, we are glad that he did not decide to pay less on the piastre. When we have grown very rich, we speculate; and that keeps us from being purse-proud and haughty.
“Be diligent in keeping your accounts. It is better to charge an item twice than to forget to charge it once. That is the true principle of Double Entry.
“Pay as you go, but not if you intend going for good.
“Boast not of your wealth; but let humility curb your tongues when the Assessor cometh around.
“Buy when the market is rising: sell when it is going to fall. If you be not a prophet, any friend on the Street will notify you of each impending change. Were it not for this unfailing, beautiful trust in human nature, few of us would be able to make money.
“In selling goods by sample, let the samples be at least as good as the bulk of the merchandise.
“Do not put all the best figs at the top of the crate. Have just as good a layer on the bottom also; for there are sometimes evil-minded persons who open the package at that end.
“Concerning truth: Do not believe all that you hear or see,—not even in the newspapers. Advertisers are human and liable to err.
“It is a great mistake to suppose that all men are rogues. If there were not a large majority of fools in the world, who would buy stocks?
“The essence of Free Trade is embodied in the axiom: Buy in the cheapest and sell in the dearest market. This is absolutely correct. I myself have bought shares for ‘half nothing,’ and doubled my money inside of a week.
“Time is money. Every second saved at your mid-day lunch means so many sequins by and by for your family physician.
“Be not angry with your creditors, if they importune you. It is nobler to forgive and forget them.
“‘Three removes are as bad as a fire,’ but that depends largely on how you stand with the underwriters.
“Do not judge a customer by the clothes he wears: he may not have paid for them. Be courteous to all men. The humblest of your neighbors may sit upon your jury one day.
“A business man who finds it necessary to attend a daily noon prayer-meeting is either abnormally virtuous or his piety is of a kind that needs a good deal of stimulus to keep it going.”
A young man who had listened with attention to this discourse came at the close to Shacabac and asked, “How shall I become rich without too much trouble?”
“List to me,” replied the wise man, “and I will teach thee in six easy consecutive lessons, at one sequin per lesson.”
The young man, joyfully complying, paid the money, and sat at the feet of the Sage. But, when the course was over, he cried out, “Bismillah! thou hast taught me naught.”
“Nay,” returned the Sage. “I have taught thee how to make six sequins. Go to, ungrateful one.”
And the ungrateful one, abashed at the reproof, immediately opened a Commercial College where every branch of Business could be learned “while you wait.”
But the envious Badeg, looking on, scoffed aloud, saying, “I know how to make a fortune without waiting at all!”