FOOTNOTES:
[109] Apprehendens ipsum, revolvit super ejus genua; erat enim valdè fortis. Elevatis itaque pannis, quia ille Minister contrà sanctum Dei tabernaculum locutus fuerat, cœpit cum palmis percutere super quadrata tabernacula, quæ erant nuda, non enim habebat femoralia vel antiphonam; & quia ipse infamare voluerat beatam Virginem, allegando forsitan Aristotelem in Libro Priorum, iste Prædicator illum confutavit legendo in libro ejus Posteriorum: de hoc autem omnes qui aderant, gaudebant. Tunc exclamavit quædam devota mulier, dicens, Domine Prædicator, detis ei alias quatuor palmatas pro me; & alia postmodum dixit, detis ei etiam quatuor; sicque multæ aliæ rogabant; ità quòd si illarum petitionibus satisfacere voluisset, per totum diem aliud facere non potuisset.——In Opere Mariali, Serm. viii. de Conceptione Beatæ Virginis, circ. fin.
[110] There prevails, as may have been perceived, a kind of competition between the Abbé Boileau and me, who shall find out the best story, which is extremely for the benefit of the Reader. However, the story above quoted from Bernardinus de Bustis, with which we are supplied by the Abbé’s book, is so good in itself, so full of Attic salt, so well in the true Monkish style, that I despair of producing any thing that can match it. I will try, therefore, to make up in number what I may want in point of intrinsic merit; and, instead of one story, I will relate two; which, that I may keep as near to my model as may be (for here it inspires me with uncommon emulation) will both have Friars for their object, and be of the same turn with the above.
The first is contained in the book of the Apologie pour Hérodote, the Author of which says he heard it from a Gentlewoman of Lorrain, who had been an eye-witness to it. A Monk, one day, preached in a Country Church, upon the subject of Hell. He took much pains to inspire his Congregation with a great aversion for the place, and made as frightful a description of it as he could; but now and then, pretending that proper expressions failed him, he stopped suddenly, and then exclaimed,—In short, Hell is as horrid as the breech of the Bell-ringer of the Parish; which saying, he uncovered the posteriors of the latter, who had placed himself there for that purpose, and had agreed with the Friar to act that farce with him.
The second story I propose to relate, which I do not remember where I have read, perhaps in the same book above quoted, is that of another jolly Predicant Friar, who laid a wager he would make one half of his Congregation laugh, and the other cry. As for making his hearers cry, it was what he had often succeeded in doing, being a very good preacher. On the appointed day, he accordingly came to Church, provided with an excellent Sermon, with that, of his stock, which he knew was most likely to produce the desired effect, and he presently after began reciting it; for they never read their Sermons. But, before I proceed farther, I must inform the Reader that the pulpit in which he preached, stood in the middle of the Church; and, besides leaving the door behind him open, he had found means to adjust his gown and breeches in such a manner, that he might let the latter fall down whenever he pleased. When he had gone through the greater part of his preaching, and his hearers were very near being in the necessary disposition to make him win one half of the wager, he, on a sudden, let his breeches drop upon his heels, and exhibited, to use the expression of Bernardinus de Bustis, his square tabernacles to the full view of that part of the Congregation who were seated behind the pulpit. With respect to him, however, pretending to perceive nothing of the matter, and to be wholly taken up with his Sermon, he went on with it as before: and as he had now reached the latter part of it, consequently that which contained his most interesting descriptions as well as strongest arguments, he exerted so much eloquence in it, and such a power of declamation, that that part of the Congregation who were placed in front of the pulpit, were really melting in tears, while those who sat behind, minding less what they heard than what they saw, were in a situation of mind quite different; and it is needless to say that the Friar won the wager.
To the above stories a number of others of the same kind might be added; which, though it might be a hard matter to vouch for their truth, yet are related by different Authors in a very serious manner, and such as shews that they hoped their accounts would be believed. Thus, the Author of the Apologie pour Hérodote, says he had heard the story he mentions, from a person who had been an eye-witness to it. And Bernardinus de Bustis, not only pretends he greatly approves the fact he relates, which he represents as having been peculiarly agreeable to the Virgin, but has moreover inserted it in a Sermon which he published, and dedicated to a Pope.
From the above stories, as well as from many others related in the same manner, we are therefore at least to conclude, that they bear great resemblance to a number of facts which commonly happened in the times of the Authors who relate them; and we may thence admire the singular licence of manners which prevailed among Monks and the Clergy in general, during a certain period of time: a licence which we find to have especially obtained when, being the dominant, or rather the sole Christian Church that existed, they were without rivals or competitors; and it may really be said, that the event of the Reformation proved, in several respects, as much a reformation for them, as for those who expressly adopted it.