No. VI. UNSELFISHNESS
Unselfishness is the giving up personal gain or advantage. It is the desire to do the will of another rather than our own. It is making a sacrifice to please some one else.
Truth, Purity, and Courage are called the heroic virtues; Unselfishness is greater than any of them. It is like the Christian virtue of Charity or Love; it makes people forget their own interests for the sake of others. Unselfishness is the great lesson we learn from studying the life of Jesus; He is the great example to the world of absolute self-forgetfulness. We admire notable examples of this virtue. One of the members of the Light Brigade tells us that in that terrible charge he was wounded in the knee, and also in the shin. He could not possibly get back from the scene of the fight. Another soldier passing by said: "Get on my back, chum." He did so, and then discovered from the flowing blood that his rescuer had been shot through the back of the head. When told of it, he said: "Oh, never mind that; it's not much, I don't think." But he died of that wound a few days later. The brave fellow thought not of his own wound, but only how he might help another, though he belonged to a different squadron and was unknown to him.
Unselfishness is one of the hardest things to learn. A boy may be naturally brave and even generous, but no one is naturally unselfish. We are apt to confuse generosity with unselfishness; really they are quite different. A generous person gives out of his abundance, liberally; an unselfish person of what seems necessary to his happiness. A generous boy shares his weekly purchases with his friends; an unselfish boy, out of pity at some distressful case, gives away all his allowance for that week, and cheerfully goes without. The selfish boy spends his money upon himself alone. It is hard to neglect Self.
Even the selfish make sacrifices occasionally. But there is not much virtue in being unselfish now and then, if, in the meantime, we think of nothing but gratifying our own desires. Real Unselfishness is a habit, and needs to be acquired as does any other habit. We have to begin practising it, and to go on practising it, in the little things of life as well as the great, for a long time before we are finally able to forget self and think of others first. It is perhaps impossible to forget self altogether; but Unselfishness aims to that.
A boy is going down town for some amusement. His sister asks him to take a parcel for her to the house of a friend, who lives considerably out of the way. He says he can't be bothered, or that he will miss some of his fun; he is selfish. Another boy is next at bat, and the "Pro." is going to bowl. A friend asks him to exchange places on the list, as he has to meet his father at the train later on, and he is near the foot of the list. The first boy consents, though he knows he will not get nearly so good a practice; he is unselfish. The unselfish person is constantly trying to lighten the burdens of others.
If you wish to tell a thoroughly selfish person, watch his conversation. He talks constantly of himself, of what he has done, or will do, or can do. His belongings are better than those of another, merely because they are his. He loves himself more than any one else; and it is natural to talk of what we love best. Lord Bacon said: "It is a poor centre of a man's actions, himself. It is right earth." He also said: "The referring of all to a man's self is a desperate evil in a citizen of a republic." "Wisdom for a man's self is, in many branches thereof, a depraved thing. It is the wisdom of rats, that will be sure to leave a house before it fall. It is the wisdom of the fox, that thrusts out the badger who digged and made room him. It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour."
An old proverb says: "Love thyself, and many will hate thee."
Unselfishness is hard to practise, because it brings no reward in this life. The unselfish man, indeed, is often imposed on by the self-seeking, and more often still simply because he is unselfish, and never ceases to think of others. A Christian man in the city of Toronto, widely known for his charities, subscribed $500 to a deserving object. The committee in charge of the matter appointed collectors to go about and ask help from the public. A lady called upon this gentleman, not knowing that he had already given largely. He was about to tell her of his first subscription, when he noticed her face fall at the expected refusal. He immediately took her little book and put down his name for a second amount. He could not bear to send her empty away. His first subscription was generosity; his second, Unselfishness. There is a reward here for Unselfishness—the approval of one's own Conscience, and, after all, that is of greater permanent value than the praise of men.
In an age when there is so much grasping after personal gain, it is refreshing to read of great instances of forgetfulness of self. When the Victoria, after her collision with the Camperdown, was found to be sinking, Admiral Sir George Tryon ordered the sick and the prisoners to be brought up from below, and then gave the usual order, always the last to be given on a ship: "All hands for themselves." Not a man broke ranks until that order was given. Even then the chaplain stayed to help the sick, and so lost his life. The Admiral himself went down, standing on the bridge; and, most notable of all, young Lanyon, a junior midshipman, refused to leave the Admiral's side, though told to jump, and they went down together.
"He that loseth his life shall find it."