THE TWO SHERIDANS.
Sheridan made his appearance one day in a pair of new boots; these attracting the notice of some of his friends: “Now guess,” said he, “how I came by these boots?” Many probable guesses were then ventured, but in vain. “No,” said Sheridan, “no, you have not hit it, nor ever will. I bought them, and paid for them!” Sheridan was very desirous that his son Tom should marry a young lady of large fortune, but knew that Miss Callander had won his son’s heart. Sheridan, expatiating once on the folly of his son, at length broke out: “Tom, if you marry Caroline Callander, I’ll cut you off with a shilling!” Tom, looking maliciously at his father, said, “Then, sir, you must borrow it.” In a large party one evening, the conversation turned upon young men’s allowances at college. Tom deplored the ill-judging parsimony of many parents in that respect. “I am sure, Tom,” said his father, “you have no reason to complain; I always allowed you £800 a-year.” “Yes, father, I confess you allowed it; but then—it was never paid!”