XI.
“It is a lesson in the evolution of towns, these incidents of the pushing out of the frontiers of a great country,” said Irving. “I dare say Denver began its career as a mining-camp.”
“It did; and only a few years ago.”
“And now they tell me it is a beautiful and well-ordered city, with the finest opera-house in all America.”
“That is so; and one day you ought to play there.”
“I hope I may; I would like it very much. By the way, your bill about ‘The Bazoo’ excursion reminds me of two curious placards which the manager of Haverly’s gave me. They tell the story of the fate of a new play that was once produced at his theatre. It was called ‘Hix’s Fix,’ and was a terrible failure. The theatre had been engaged for a short season for ‘Hix’s Fix,’ and the proprietors of it were at their wits’ ends to know what to do. They were not prepared to play any other piece; so they hit upon the expedient of ‘pushing the failure.’ They printed half a million handbills, and circulated them diligently. This is one of them; it reads as follows:—
HAVERLY’S THEATRE.
In obedience to the Unanimous Opinion of the Daily Press
Mestayer & Barton
Seriously think of Changing the name of their Play,
HIX’S FIX, to ROT.
In sober truth, this is about the right thing
☞BUT☜
It is the funniest rot you have ever seen, and stands preeminent
and alone the
Worst Play of the Age.
OPINIONS OP THE PRESS:
Hix’s Fix is bad enough, but think of the poor audience.—News.
All that is not idiotic is vile.—Tribune.
piece is sheer nonsense, to speak mildly.—Times.
The most painful dramatic infliction we have suffered this season.—Evening News.
EVERYBODY’S JUDGMENT WANTED.
TURN OUT and JOIN the MOURNERS.
Every Night this Week and Wednesday and Saturday Matinées.
“Under the influence of this extraordinary announcement, the business improved, stimulated by which cheering result the managers issued a new proclamation, to this effect:—
HAVERLY’S THEATRE.
Every Night this Week and usual Matinées.
HIX’S FIX
Is unquestionably the worst Play ever produced.
It is so much worse that no one should miss it!
THIS IS CONFIDENTIAL (?)
To illustrate how good people will sometimes go wrong, read
the list of talent engaged in playing this vile trash.
William A. Mestayer,
The heaviest of heavy Tragedians.
Rob’t E. Graham,
Unequalled in Character Impersonations.
Harry Bloodgood, Fred. Turner, Chas. A. Stedman,
H. A. Cripps.
Miss Kate Foley,
As bright as a sunbeam,
Sophie Hummell, Helen Lowel, Lisle Riddell, with
James Barton, as Manager.
Here you have the novelty of a very Good Company in an
unpardonably Bad Play.
AND THEY KNOW IT!
You must admire their Candor, if you will condemn the Play.
“Many curious people were drawn to the theatre in this way; but the attraction of failure only lasted a few nights. The invitation to turn out and join the mourners strikes one as funny. ‘It helped them to pay expenses,’ said the manager; ‘but it is the most novel effort to “turn diseases to commodities,” as Falstaff says, that ever came under my notice.’”