Reminders.
1. When asked a question to be answered by Yes or No it is considered more polite to say “Yes, Mrs. A.” than “Yes, ma’am.” “Yes, sir” and “No, sir” are allowable, but “Yes, Mr. A.” is better. When something is said, and the one to whom it is said does not hear or understand, the following questions are proper: “Sir?” “I beg pardon,” “What did you say, Mrs. A.?” When a person’s name is spoken before a question is asked, the response should be “Sir?” or “Yes, Mrs. A.?”
2. When entering a private house gentlemen should remove their hats. Any one should remove rubbers. Umbrella, hat, overcoat, or waterproof should be left in the hall.
3. In entering a parlor, host and hostess should be first sought out and spoken to. If the family only be present, the one entering may properly shake hands with all. This is partly a matter of choice, but if it is either a formal or an informal call (not a business call) it is highly proper. When the company is large, it is unnecessary. The same direction applies in leaving.
4. When in company or when making a call, lounging or rocking should not be indulged in. Sitting with the chair tipped in any way, or with the feet on the rounds of the chair, is not allowable. Ladies should not sit with the feet or knees crossed. Gentlemen should not sit with the feet elevated. The feet should remain on the floor, and should be as inconspicuous as possible. No one should sit with the feet far apart.
5. Fumbling or fussing with the watch-chain or with a ribbon or anything else should be avoided; also drumming with the fingers or twirling things. When the hands are not necessarily occupied they should be kept quiet. The same may be said of the feet. Swinging the feet or keeping them in motion or prominently in sight is not proper. Constant and unnecessary motion of hands or feet gives one an appearance of restlessness which is not at all conducive to elegance of manner. Repose of manner should be cultivated.
6. Avoid passing directly in front of people when possible. It is better, however, to pass in front of others with a “Pardon me,” or “Excuse me,” than to crowd behind them. A gentleman should allow a lady to pass through a door before him, holding it open for her, if necessary. Gentlemen should go up-stairs before a lady, and behind her in coming down.
7. It is rude to stare at people in company, especially if they are peculiar in any way. Seem not to notice any deformity or any peculiarity of dress or manner. Remember the Golden Rule.
8. Demonstrations of affection are out of place in company or anywhere else in public. Girls should not sit or walk with their arms about each other, or clasp hands, or lean against each other. A gushing manner is silly and impolite.
9. Reading to one’s self in company is not excusable. Reading aloud is still worse, unless by special request.
10. When strangers are to be presented to each other, the directions are as follows: Gentlemen should be presented to ladies (as, Miss B., allow me to present Mr. C.), young men to elderly men, young women to elderly women. People who have been introduced should make some conversation with each other, and not turn rudely away without a word.
11. When people make calls they should inquire at the door for those whom they wish to see. They should also send in their names if unknown to the one who comes to the door. When callers enter a room, persons in the room not inquired for should soon leave. No member of the family should enter the room when one is receiving calls unless it is very necessary, and then an apology should be offered.