Progress and Achievements of the Colored People / Containing the Story of the Wonderful Advancement of the Colored Americans—the Most Marvelous in the History of Nations—Their Past Accomplishments, Together With Their Present-day Opportunities and a Glimpse Into the Future for Further Developments—the Dawn of a Triumphant Era. A Handbook for Self-improvement Which Leads to Greater Success

by Kelly Miller; Joseph R. Gay

BE EVERY MAN’S FRIEND

Every man with a grain of common sense prefers a friend to an enemy.

Not that a man need to have enemies, for if you make yourself a friend to every man, every man will be your friend and you will have no enemies.

There is much comfort and peace of mind, besides greater opportunities for succeeding in any occupation, if you possess that charming trait known as “friendship.”

Friendship is a valuable asset in character. There are always times during life when you need a friend, and you can always have one ready at hand if you are a friend to others.

We all know that a friend in need is a friend indeed, but do not bank upon what you are to gain by being a friend and persuading others to be your friend. That is mercenary, and not provocative of good feeling or self-satisfaction.

It is very proper to be friendly with every one from the standpoint of business, for then you gain friendship in a variety of pleasant ways.

There is always social intercourse to be considered. You want friends for that; indeed, if you have none, you are in a bad way, and apt to wander off into by-paths that are shady and disreputable. With a friend by your side you have a guide and adviser.

Help Your Fellow Man

You are not put here on earth for your own sole benefit. There are others with the same rights and privileges to enjoy the things of life as well as yourself. This is important to remember.

Now, if you help your fellow man to maintain his rights, do you not see that you are laying the foundation for help to maintain your own?

If you trample on any person you must expect to be trampled upon in your turn, and then away go your rights, and trouble ensues.

If you help your friends and neighbors in their need, you are opening the way to be a success in whatever you may undertake. Under such circumstances, men will swear by you, and if you cannot be helped by them—there being some things that are too deep to be aided, sorrow for instance—you will at least have their sympathy, good will and countenance in your undertakings.

Let all your dealings and intercourse with your fellow men be based upon mutuality. There is a proverb which may not be inappropriate, which says, “Molasses catches more flies than vinegar.” Of course, helping your neighbor out of his difficulties or even sympathizing with him in his sorrows or grief, is a sweetness to him and to you.

Every kind, every good act, has a reciprocal effect. It may not be done out of whole heartedness, and there may be a grain of selfishness in it, but the principle is there, and often repeated, it becomes a second nature to act like the Good Samaritan without hope of reward.

Nevertheless there is always a reward more or less substantial.

Take Counsel of Your Best Friends

It is as old as the hills that “Two heads are better than one.”

It is true that every man has two feet, two hands, two eyes, two ears, and so on, but only one head. Things do not seem to balance with only one thing, so to complete the balance it is the height of policy to have two heads. Why not?

But one of the two heads is that of your best friend who can advise you when your one head is apt to go astray in some important step or undertaking.

You may not follow the advice of your friend, but he may give you an idea that will save you from making mistakes leading to failure.

Solomon says: “Without counsel purposes are disappointed.”

But you must take counsel of your friends; not of the ungodly, or those who may take advantage of you to counsel you wrong for their own purpose.

It is to be hoped that you have friends, if not make some immediately, because you will always need them. Now, when you have a friend go to him and counsel with him, and stick to him closer than to a brother. You should not give all your ideas away or consult with everybody about your affairs. You should keep close mouthed about them, but when you are in doubt consult a friend. We repeat: consult a FRIEND, not one who calls himself your friend, and wants to borrow money, or use you for a purpose, but a real friend upon whom you can rely.

Such a counselor will not betray you, but will be your other head and study your needs and help you in your troubles.

The word “friend” is a high and noble word and possesses a meaning not common to other relations between man and man. Thus, Abraham was the “Friend of God.”