SCENE
A STREET. Mrs. Carr, with a small basket in her hand in which are two oranges and two lemons, is walking along the street to her house, holding her little daughter Kitty by the hand. They are supposed to have just arrived at her house door.
Mrs. C. There now, here we are at home again, and I'll take these in and make a nice pot of jam with them. I got them very cheap.
Kitty. How much were they?
Mrs. C. Twopence each orange, and twopence and three farthings each lemon.
[Handbells heard ringing.
Kitty. Mother, why are the bells ringing?
Mrs. C. Because it is Bellringers' Day, when everyone who likes may ring a bell in the streets if he calls out the name of his parish and puts a penny into the parish poor box.
Kitty. Oh, I should like to do that. What's our parish?
Mrs. C. St. Clement's.
Kitty. And I could ring my little bell that I got off the Christmas tree.
Mrs. C. But have you a penny for the poor box?
Kitty [coaxingly]. You give me one, mammy darling.
Mrs. C. [smiling]. I'm afraid I haven't one to spare. I spent my pennies on these.
Kitty [looking at the oranges and lemons in basket]. Do let me sell them again and have some pennies!
Mrs. C. What about the jam then?
Kitty. Oh, I'd much rather have the pennies for the poor box, so that I could ring my bell too.
Mrs. C. Well, you may try to sell them if you like.
Kitty. Oh, mammy darling, you are kind. I'll run in and get my bell.
[Rushes in to get it. While she is inside Mrs. Carr arranges the oranges and lemons in the basket, etc. Kitty comes out with the bell.
Mrs. C. [giving her the basket, smiling]. I'm spoiling you, mind.
Kitty. It is nice to be spoilt. Now you go indoors, mother, and I'll be a real person all by myself.
[Mrs. C. smiles, kisses her, and goes in. Kitty, alone, walks up and down calling "St Clement's! St. Clement's! St. Clement's!" Enter St. Martin's Boy, ringing his bell.
St. M. St. Martin's! St. Martin's!
[Looks at Kitty's basket.
Kitty [sings to tune, ringing bell]. Oranges and lemons, says the Bells of St. Clement's!
St. M. Jolly good they look.
Kitty. Buy one?
St. M. Yes, if they're not too dear. How much are they?
Kitty. Two pennies for each orange, and two pennies and three farthings for each lemon.
St. M. All right, I'll have one of each. Now, twopence for this, you say, and twopence three farthings for this. Can you reckon up how much that is?
Kitty. No—you must.
St. M. Girls are silly. That makes fourpence three-farthings. Now, here's a sixpence, and you must give me five farthings change.
[Sings] "You owe me five farthings, says the bells of St. Martin's."
Kitty. Oh dear, I've got no farthings, no change, no nothing.
St. M. Then you'll have no sixpence as well, that's all. And I'll have no oranges and lemons—and no nothing.
Kitty. Oh dear, what a pity!
[Enter Shoreditch Boy, ringing bell.
Shoreditch. Shoreditch! Shoreditch! Hallo, those look good. Look here, little girl, sell me one. [Feels in his pocket.] No, my pocket's empty.
[Enter Old Bailey Boy, ringing bell.
Old Bailey. Old Bailey! Old Bailey! Jolly things you've got there, young person.
Kitty. Do buy one.
Shoreditch. I want to buy one if someone will lend me the money.
Old Bailey. Here, I've got some money. How much do you want?
Shoreditch. Twopence.
Old Bailey. Here you are then.
Shoreditch. Hooray! [Takes orange.] There, little girl.
[Gives her two pennies.
Kitty. Oh, that is nice!
Old Bailey [to Shoreditch]. But when will you pay me?
[Sings] "When will you pay me? says the bell of Old Bailey."
Shoreditch [sings, smiling]. "When I grow rich, says the bell of Shoreditch."
Old Bailey. That's all very well, but it's a long time to wait. You put back that orange and give me back the pennies.
[They begin fighting, their bells making a noise as they do so. Enter Stepney and Bow, ringing bells, Stepney in front.
Stepney. Stepney!
Bow. And Bow!
Stepney. Stepney!
Bow. And Bow!
[They look at the boys fighting.
Bow. What's all this about?
Old Bailey. I've lent this Shoreditch boy twopence, and he says he'll pay me when he grows rich.
Stepney [to Shoreditch, sings]. "When will that be? says the bell of Stepney."
[Shoreditch shakes his head and laughs.
Bow [in a deep voice, sings]. "I'm sure I don't know, says the big bell of Bow."
Old Bailey. Don't know, indeed!
Bow. Well, don't quarrel on Bellringers' Day. Let's make a great noise and disturb the neighbours, that's much more amusing. Come on now, let's each shout something.
[Each one sings a line, ringing the bell on the first beat of the bar.
Kitty. Oranges and lemons, says the bell of St. Clement's.
St. M. You owe me five farthings, says the bell of St. Martin's.
Old Bailey. When will you pay me? says the bell of Old Bailey.
Shoreditch. When I grow rich, says the bell of Shoreditch.
Stepney. When will that be? says the bell of Stepney.
Bow. I'm sure I don't know, says the big bell of Bow. Capital. Now, all together, about the chopper.
[All sing very loud.
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
And here comes a chopper to chop off your head.
Neighbours. Oh, what a noise!
Bow. It's Bellringers' Day, ma'am. We may make as much noise as we like. Now then, all together.
[They stand in a row and sing the song straight through. Then they either march round in single file without singing, but ringing their bells, while the tune is played on the piano, or else dance. In either case the neighbours may join in.