SCENE II
The grounds—a grassy hillock—some trees. Enter the Spider, prowling mysteriously.
The Spider should have eight legs, made of thick wire, bent and covered with black. Two curving from his feet, two from his hands, two from his head (fastened on to a round frame), two from his shoulders.
Spider. Ha, none of those horrid two-legged creatures about, I am glad to say. I should be ashamed to have so few legs. Now, let me see. Where shall I start my spinning? [Sits on tuffet and looks round.] That bough, I think, would be best ... it's just the right kind of day—not too shiny, nor too damp. Just the sort of day for a fly not to see a web. [Looks round.] Perhaps I'd better look round and see if there's a better place. Dear me, now there's a bluebottle gone swaggering past. If I'd had the web ready he'd have blundered straight into it. Fat blue thing! These winged creatures are so stupid sometimes. Well, I mustn't lose any more time.
[Enter Nurse, pushing pram in which the baby is supposed to be; Muffet following, carrying a bowl very carefully and a spoon.
Nurse. Now, Miss Muffet, you had better sit down and eat your curds and whey or you'll be splashing it down your frock. Suppose you sit on that tuffet and eat it while I walk the baby about.
Muffet. Is that called a tuffet? What a nice name!
Nurse. Yes, it's called a tuffet because that's where people sit to eat curds and whey.
Muffet. Oh, I'll sit there then. [Establishes herself carefully.] Now I'll pretend I'm on a desert island, Nurse, and you go away.
Nurse [smiling]. Very well. I leave you to the savages. Good-bye.
Muffet [calls after her]. Nurse!
Nurse. Well?
Muffet. You won't really go away, will you? You'll only pretend?
Nurse. Of course.
Muffet. And they won't be real savages?
Nurse. Certainly not.
Muffet. I always think it's so much nicer to pretend.
[Nurse goes off R. Muffet goes on eating her curds and whey. Spider comes in L. with coil of string. Spider, before seeing Muffet, looks up at bough.
Spider. No, this is the best place, I'm sure.
[Sees Muffet, who has nearly eaten her curds. She looks up and sees him, and cries out.
Muffet. Oh! Oh! Oh! Nurse! Nurse! Here's an enormous spider!
Spider. You are very rude—that's worse than being enormous.
Muffet [looking frightened]. I'm very sorry—I didn't mean to be rude.
Spider [mollified]. And I didn't mean to be enormous. But I was born so.
Muffet. Nurse! Nurse!
Spider. What's the matter, little Two-legs?
[Sits down by her on the tuffet. Miss Muffet puts down the curds and whey and rushes in to meet Nurse coming in L. with baby.
Nurse. What is it, darling? What's the matter?
Muffet. Oh, Nursie, it's a spider—the biggest you ever saw, and he came and sat down beside me and frightened me away.
Nurse [seeing Spider]. Oh! he is a monster.
Spider. Really, the manners of these two-legged persons!
Nurse. I'll soon chase it away. Shoo! Shoo! I'll stamp upon him if I get a chance. That will teach him to be a spider.
[Spider gets down off the tuffet and runs rapidly round the tree. Nurse pokes at it with her umbrella. Prolong chase ad libitum. Then Spider hides behind tree, looking out at intervals.
Nurse. There now, he's gone.
Muffet. Oh dear, Nursie, I want to go home. I'm so frightened.
Nurse. Well, come along home then. [Takes up bowl and pushes the pram.] Poor little Miss Muffet!
Muffet. I sat on a tuffet eating my curds and whey and there came that big spider ...
[Buries her face against her nurse.
Nurse. And sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away! Well, never mind, darling, he's gone into his hole, and you will never see him again.
[They go out L. Spider puts his head round the tree.
Spider. Hole, indeed! [Comes out.] No hole for me, but a nice big web where I can see what is going on. Now, where shall I begin it? [Looks round.] Ah, there, I think! But I'll just have a dance first—it's a great thing having so many legs for these new dances. [Dances round. At end of dance.] And now to work!
[Throws rope over bough.
QUICK CURTAIN
