FOOLISH JACK.
Mother.—(Alone.) Jack! Jack! Where is the boy? He can never stay in the house. He must always be running round to all the neighbours. Ah, there he is at last!
Enter Jack.
J.—Well, mother, how are you?
M.—I was getting anxious about you. Where have you been all this time?
J.—Oh, I've been seeing the neighbours.
M.—I thought as much. Which neighbours?
J.—First I went to see Father Clumpylump.
M.—Indeed! Father Clumpylump! Honest man! And what did he say to you?
J.—He gave me a needle for a present.
M.—A most useful present! Where is it?
J.—I stuck it into a bundle of hay that was standing in a cart, and then I could not find it again.
M.—I should think not, indeed! You ought to have stuck it into your sleeve.
J.—That's just what Father Clumpylump said.
M.—And he was quite right. And then?
J.—Then I went to call on Goody Grumbles.
M.—Indeed! Goody Grumbles, dear, old soul! And what had she to say?
J.—Not much; but she gave me a knife.
M.—A knife! Another most useful present! Where is it, then?
J.—I stuck it into my sleeve, and it fell out on the way.
M.—Of course it did. You ought to have put it into your pocket.
J.—That's just what Goody Grumbles said.
M.—And she was quite right. And then?
J.—And then I went to see Uncle Crabstick.
M.—Uncle Crabstick! Did he give you anything?
J.—Yes, he gave me a lamb.
M.—A lamb! How delightful! Where is it, then?
J.—I crammed it into my pocket, and it was stifled.
M.—I should think it was! Into your pocket! Good heavens! Whoever thought of putting a lamb into his pocket! You should have tied a rope round its neck and led it carefully along.
J.—That's just what Uncle Crabstick said.
M.—I should think he did! And then?
J.—Then I went to see Auntie Jumblewig.
M.—That was quite right. Did she give you anything?
J.—She gave me a splendid ham.
M.—A ham! I am glad. That will come in useful. Where is it?
J.—I tied a rope to it, and led it carefully along the road, but some dogs ate it up while I was not looking.
M.—Of course they did, you foolish boy! You should have carried it on your head.
J.—That's just what Auntie Jumblewig said when she saw me start.
M.—Of course she did! and then?
J.—I went to see Cousin Peter.
M.—Cousin Peter! And what did the good man say to you?
J.—Not much; but he gave me a calf.
M.—A calf! How generous! Where is the calf then?
J.—I tried to carry it on my head, but he kicked my face, so I let him go.
M.—Serve you right! How could you be so foolish as to carry a calf on your head? You should have taken him to the cow-house and settled him in a nice warm corner, with plenty of straw.
J.—That is just what Cousin Peter advised me to do.
M.—He was quite right. And then?
J.—I went to see Rose.
M.—I am glad you went there. Rose is a charming girl. Was she well disposed towards you?
J.—Very. Indeed, she came here with me.
M.—Where is she, then?
J.—I took her to the cow-house, and settled her in a nice, warm corner, with plenty of straw.
M.—In the cow-house! Rose! Wretched boy! You should have brought her into the best parlour, and asked her to marry you.
J.—That's just what she said.
M.—And she was quite right. Quick! Quick! Let us fetch her.
J.—I should like that very much.
M.—Come, then, at once! Oh, you foolish Jack!
(Exeunt.)
[QUITE BY OURSELVES.]
| CHARACTERS. | ||
|---|---|---|
| MRS. VERNON. | JANET. | RALPH. |