CHAPTER XI.
Whence this enchanted skin comes.—I owe to it my life and the crown.—In what manner I govern.—I learn the fate of the English station.
Crawling on their bellies after the manner of serpents, these new reptiles came towards me. Karabouffi crawled at their head. Overwhelmed by fear, his enormous head had disappeared between his shoulders; his quickened breath swept over the ground; his body, far more considerable in its natural state than that of a tall man, was now nothing but a flattened and trembling trunk pressed against the earth. When he had reached my feet he licked them for more than a quarter of an hour; and this act of abasement over, he moved a little on one side to make room for others, who in their turn licked my feet as he had done. Not one of them was bold enough to render a similar act of homage to my hands. These abject proceedings of theirs confounded me with astonishment.
But what did it all mean? For surely this singular homage of which I had been the object must be open to some kind of explanation.
The explanation was this: that with my mandrill’s skin, my mandrill’s head, my mandrill’s breast, my mandrill’s hands and legs, I was taken—now you will guess it all—for the gigantic mandrill whom Vice-Admiral Campbell had suspected to be, and not, as we see, without reason, an old sovereign of Kouparou. Yes, I was taken for that same great mandrill who would have disembowelled Karabouffi had not Admiral Campbell knocked the monster over with a ball from his fowling-piece.
This fanatic veneration of theirs, instead of diminishing, only increased. It became a universal sentiment. An Indian god is not more adored by his superstitious worshippers than I was by these grovelling apes. I might have walked, stamping on this living carpet, without even a skin daring to move.
I was, then, saved? Without doubt; but I was also become an ape. More than that! I was unquestionably recognised as king by all the apes of Kouparou. And how had all this been brought about? Why, in precisely the same way that other sovereigns had raised themselves to power—by firing a few guns, by losing my head, and by disguising myself in the garments of an illustrious predecessor.
Since it was so, and since it was necessary either to “perish or reign,” as they say, I believe, in tragedies, and in actual life as well, I resigned myself to reign, although my people appeared very ugly-looking in my eyes. But I had no choice.
This resolution being taken, I generously extended my paw to my predecessor Karabouffi, whom I raised by this dignified movement, easily comprehended, to the high rank of prime minister.
This first act of authority exercised by me prodigiously astonished all around; but I perceived that on the whole it gave great satisfaction. My good sense, then, had not deceived me. I had always said to myself, and that long before a nation of apes had placed the sceptre in my hands, that it was bad policy on the part of a minister to torment, abase, and punish those whom he was called upon to aid in governing, since if he should act thus, if he should listen to the inspirations of hate, or to counsels bewildered by fear, he is certain to create for himself secret and implacable enemies, critics ever ready to condemn all his actions, who are so much the more to be feared since they foment discontent among the people, who, while regretting the loss of that liberty which they no longer possess, will indulge in the hope that one day it may again be theirs.
And how very difficult, if not impossible, is rendered the return to power of those who have been overthrown if they are only left where they have fallen! An open tolerance which will only lower them still more is preferable to raising them up by a marked display of aversion, or by a colouring of persecution, no matter how faint.
I exercised, then, no severity against Karabouffi, who, it must be remembered, had had the generosity, when I was entirely in his power, not to flay me alive from head to foot.
Nevertheless, whatever forbearance I may have been disposed to exercise towards Karabouffi, I could not avoid the performance of one act which I knew would be very mortifying to his self-love and passions. But by the side of that prudence which I had just shown it was necessary that I should show a like degree of energy and equity. Moreover, in what I proposed doing I was only about to extend the principle in accordance with which I had spared Karabouffi himself. All the vervets, all the old followers of the mandrill whose place I occupied, were brought from exile and disgrace. Some old ourang-outangs, some baboons of the late reign, some old Dianas, wearing cocked hats crowned with big plumes stolen from Vice-Admiral Campbell’s station, murmured behind their beards. But I took no notice of their suppressed disgust. I knew the step that I was taking was a politic one, for it conciliated the others. One is always strong when one is in the right. The consequence was that the grand dignitaries of all kinds, those who held the rank of judges, generals, and grand officers of the palace, smiled at the proposition, and welcomed the outlaws with open arms. Vervets and baboons embraced one another weeping. Was the reconciliation sincere? It is very doubtful. Those who have an interest in keeping parties divided say that it is perilous to society to bring them together; but to continue my story—for these reflections are out of place.
The most cruel trial to which I was obliged to expose my predecessor, in spite of my well-known character for humanity, was this. Followed by all my subjects and the members of my court, and having my prime minister Karabouffi on my right hand, I directed my steps towards the prison of the unfortunate Mococo. The cortège was a most imposing one. We arrived at length in front of the horrible iron cage, on the floor of which lay the poor captive pining away through grief and love. The faithful Saïmira, who was at this moment consoling him through the bars, started back at the appearance of this crowd. She believed that we had come to seek her lover to drag him to the scaffold. How was I to undeceive her without betraying myself?
The event soon reassured her. After setting Mococo free, I placed his trembling hand in that of the gentle Saïmira, and made the two lovers understand, by keeping them for some minutes locked as it were in this soft pressure, that I united them in the face of this huge assembly, which had no doubt often seen among themselves infinitely worse assorted unions. At the sight of this happiness, which I had been the means of procuring for my two poor chimpanzees, Karabouffi rent the air with a cry of despair and rage. I pitied his position, and to spare him the slow agony of witnessing day by day the love which existed between this happy couple, I sent the two chimpanzees away for a time. They went under my protection to spend their honeymoon in an isolated spot which I had selected for them in a corner of the island, a charming retreat surrounded by clear and limpid waters, by pink and yellow convolvuli, and mysterious flowers which, opening only during the night, would not yield their perfume to the sun. The lady-monkeys, I am happy to say, appeared highly satisfied with my conduct.
They went to spend their honeymoon in an isolated spot which I had selected for them.—[Page 130.]
This commencement of a reign in appearance so easy did not leave me altogether without inquietude, although I hasten to declare after experience that nothing is more easy than to govern, and to govern well. When I was a bird-fancier at Macao, I have often found it more difficult to sell a parrot than it proved to become master of the wills of one hundred thousand subjects of by no means pliable natures who had fallen to my care.
But I must here mention the grave inquietude which troubled me in the early days of my reign. How could I feel perfectly tranquil so long as the mandrill’s skeleton remained suspended to the tree in the mimosa forest? The first one among my new subjects who might perceive it would not fail to divulge the fact to the others; and then what would become of me? How could I be at the same time both living and dead—hung and yet reigning? It would be indeed vexatious for a sovereign to have his own skeleton brought against him as a witness.
It was necessary, then, at all risks to put an end to this embarrassment. The simplest way, the reader will think, would be to get rid of this confounded skeleton; the simplest way—yes, but not for me, since I was constantly surrounded by thousands of courtiers. Notwithstanding this, during one of those stormy nights which are rarely known in other countries of the world—one of those nights, in fact, of brimstone and electricity which make tigers and elephants fall asleep on their knees, the air is so heavy to their eyes and brains—I sallied forth. My body-guards, chamberlains, and valets-de-chambre slept too soundly to have been aroused even by the trumpet of the last judgment. The wind drove the clouds so rapidly through the sky, that the moon appeared to leave its orbit and fall with all its weight to the horizon, to remount as rapidly to the zenith. Trees a hundred and forty feet high were snapped like reeds, and after having been blown down, and then into the air again, twirled round me like whirlwinds of straw; a single dry leaf—it is true some are half a yard long—catching me a blow would have cut me in two with the cleanness of a razor. I saw this hurricane mow down portions of the forests in the space of three minutes, and clear the ground bare to the solid rock. One would not understand how it was that I was not carried away like an atom, if one were ignorant of the fact that these hurricanes proceed by currents, which vary but little in extent. There are bands—kinds of lines almost as regular as if drawn to scale. Well, two paces from the tempest one can see it pass without being touched by it in the slightest degree. Such was the night chosen by me for my expedition.
No one saw me leave the verandah. I stole away in the shade, and, hidden by the contortions of the tempest, gained the wood of mimosas where I knew that my skeleton was hanging up. I say my skeleton, since henceforth I considered myself in all respects as neither more nor less than the mandrill discovered by Admiral Campbell. In due course I arrived at the tree, suspended to which were my poor bones rattling in the wind, when, after having dug a trench seven feet long, I interred myself with all possible precautions. I covered myself over at first with vegetable earth, then with sand, then with turf, and lastly with a layer of dry leaves. At this strange and solemn moment I believed myself a far more extraordinary personage than the Emperor Charles V. He only assisted at his own funeral procession at the Convent of Saint-Just, whereas I, Polydorus Marasquin, performed my own obsequies, and was my own undertaker, gravedigger, and mourner. Surely it will not be disputed that I was the first example of a sovereign or even of a man who had buried himself with his own hands.
After having dug a trench seven feet long, I interred myself with all possible precautions.—[Page 132.]
So soon as I was fairly under the turf I turned my thoughts to the future, and occupied myself with studying how to reign well. Subjects generally render this task easy enough to their rulers. They are determined at every hazard to believe the successor infinitely superior in all things to his predecessor. Let him do what he may, he is always more intelligent, energetic, and generous. This is the first stage of forced popularity. Even Nero, Louis XI. of France, and George IV. of England, have not escaped it. The second stage of popularity often to a new sovereign is for him to be always doing exactly the reverse of his predecessor. If the latter was fond of talking, then it should be your aim to be silent; if he was silent, you should be fond of talking; if he always went out on foot, you should never go out except on horseback; if he went out on horseback, you should only go out on foot; if he was proud, you should be familiar; if he was familiar, you should be proud; if he was peaceful, you should be warlike; if he was warlike, you should be peaceful; if he loved the arts, you should despise them; if he despised them, you ought to pretend to love them; if he adored his children, you should remain a bachelor; if he practised celibacy, you ought in this case to marry; if he scattered gold about, your plan would be to be saving; if he was miserly, then you should scatter your gold with an open hand. I have said sufficient for the reader to perceive the value of my theory. Let us pass now, so far as the matter concerns me, to the application of it.
It will be readily understood that not having really to govern men, but creatures vastly inferior to them, who bore, however, at the same time, a grim resemblance to mankind in general, I did not have occasion to apply my theory in all its rigour. I simply set myself to work to see how I could twist it so as to turn to my own purposes minds which were alike inconsistent, frivolous, and, as we all know, imitative to a degree.
My predecessor, Karabouffi, had urged on his subjects, now my subjects, to destroy my comfortable verandah. I could not imagine anything more agreeable to them than to decree its immediate reconstruction. I therefore took some of the stones detached by the force of their projectiles, and in their presence placed them one upon another in the symmetrical order which they had occupied before their overthrow. Immediately, as if by a fairy’s command, the stones were placed in a most workmanlike manner. I filled up the interstices with plaster which I had mixed with water to serve as a kind of mortar; at the same moment all my subjects, seized with a rage for building, pounded plaster, broke up freestone, carried water, mixed, stirred, and made me mortar sufficient to rebuild the Tower of Babel. They presented a curious sight, whitened all over as they were with plaster, even to their moustaches, elbows, and knees.
Karabouffi, on seeing the part which I took with his old subjects, looked as if he were thinking how easy it would have been for him to have followed the same course, and to have arrived at the same end. He was right, no doubt, but he had not done so.
However, warned as he now was by experience, should he ever regain his sceptre, all he would then have to do to render himself popular would be to demolish my work.
The verandah raised from its ruins, I traced through the neighbouring woods four splendid roads, several leagues in length, all radiating from a given point, and all leading to the sea. These magnificent openings were completed in a few days, and by the same simple means as those I had had recourse to when engaged in the reconstruction of my palace. I commenced by felling three trees to the right and three trees to the left of the four lines representing the four routes to be opened in the thicknesses of the forest. Immediately hands and hatchets were hard at work felling trees. It was like a renewal of the hurricane with which I was assailed on the night of my funeral. My object in opening these four roads was to catch sight from as far off as possible of any vessel that might touch at the island, and be the means of setting me free.
The reader will easily understand that when once I had secured for myself something like liberty in my movements, I did not rest without searching for any vestiges which might be scattered about the island, and which might give a clue to the fatal lot which had, in all probability, befallen the brave sailors of the naval station. My investigations were attended with the following result:—While examining the land-locked bay which Admiral Campbell’s journal indicated as the anchorage of the Halcyon, I was struck by a circumstance which clearly proved that this fine frigate had not left the bay in accordance with the ordinary rules of navigation. Had she done so she would have raised her anchor and the buoys which marked the spot where they had been dropped. Instead of this the buoys were in their places, and I had only to slip my hand under one of them to assure myself that the anchors had never been weighed. In their thievish haste the pirates had cut the cables above the buoys, and had thus set the frigate free in order to carry her off, Heaven only knows where.
I was, then, irrevocably condemned to endure my present lot; my original deductions had proved to be correct. The entire naval station had become the prey of the Malay scum of the archipelago of Sooloo.
While speaking of the expedition undertaken by me to the Halcyon’s anchorage, I ought not to omit mentioning that I was accompanied on this occasion by the various dignitaries of my household. Their zeal carried them so far as to induce them to throw themselves into the water with me when I swam to the place where the buoys were floating, through want of a boat or canoe to take me there. The reader will see that if the affection of my subjects for my royal person was all that could be desired, my marine was nevertheless in a very inefficient state.
I returned to my dominions, after this short absence, amid the acclamations of my subjects, who evidently grew more and more fond of me. I must mention here that the one thing which made me more popular than ever among them, and which marvellously proved the efficacy of my governmental theory, was being in respect of the matter of dress the exact opposite of my predecessor, who was accustomed, even up to the moment of his unmerited fall, to dress himself out in a most ridiculous style, whereas I went totally naked. One can scarcely believe how much this contrast helped to keep me in favour. “What simplicity!” murmured they; “how natural and charming! He shows his bare back as we do, and is just as ugly as we are.”
This proves that it is not necessary always to wear a theatrical-shaped hat in order to be regarded as a great king. I am, however, bound to acknowledge that this habit of reigning quite naked was productive to me of more bitter distress than it is possible to imagine; it made me, moreover, incur the most serious dangers, considering the exceptional position in which I was placed. When I think of the matter a cold shiver runs through me, my hair stands on end, my heart fails me, and I feel as though I am on the point of fainting.
