2
There was motherliness in her voice, but she did not seem a mother as she reclined, girlishly slight, on the sofa, with behind her the soft glow of the lace flower of light on its stem of onyx. She was still in the black of her mourning. Here and there the light at her back touched her flaxen hair with a frail golden halo; the loose crape tea-gown accentuated the maidenly slimness of her figure, with the gently curving lines of her long neck and somewhat narrow shoulders; her arms hung with a certain weariness as her hands lay in her lap; gently curving, too, were the lines of her girlish youth of bust and slender waist, slender as a vase is slender, so that she seemed a still expectant flower of maidenhood, scarcely more than adolescent, not nearly old enough to be the mother of her children, her two boys of six and seven.
Her features were lost in the shadow—the lamplight touching her hair with gold—and Dolf could not at first see into her eyes; but presently, as he grew accustomed to the shade, these shone softly out from the dusk of her features. She spoke in her low-toned voice, a little faint and soft, like a subdued whisper; she spoke again of Christie, of his god-child Dolf and then asked for news of Amélie, her sister.
“We are all well, thank you,” he replied. “You may well ask how we are: we hardly ever see you.”
“I go out so little,” she said, as an excuse.
“That is just where you make a mistake: you do not get half enough air, not half enough society. Amélie was saying so only at dinner to-day; and that’s why I’ve looked in to ask you to come round to us to-morrow evening.”
“Is it a party?”
“No; nobody.”
“Very well, I will come. I shall be very pleased.”
“Yes, but why do you never come of your own accord?”
“I can’t summon up the energy.”
“Then how do you spend your evenings?”
“I read, I write, or I do nothing at all. The last is really the most delightful: I only feel myself alive when I am doing nothing.”
He shook his head:
“You’re a funny girl. You really don’t deserve that we should like you as much as we do.”
“How?” she asked, archly.
“Of course, it makes no difference to you. You can get on just as well without us.”
“You mustn’t say that; it’s not true. Your affection means a great deal to me, but it takes so much to induce me to go out. When I am once in my chair, I sit thinking, or not thinking; and then I find it difficult to stir.”
“What a horribly lazy mode of life!”
“Well, there it is!... You like me so much: can’t you forgive me my laziness? Especially when I have promised you to come round to-morrow.”
He was captivated:
“Very well,” he said, laughing. “Of course you are free to live as you choose. We like you just the same, in spite of your neglect of us.”
She laughed, reproached him with using ugly words and rose slowly to pour him out a cup of tea. He felt a caressing softness creep over him, as if he would have liked to stay there a long time, talking and sipping tea in that violet-scented atmosphere of subdued refinement: he, the man of action, the politician, member of the Second Chamber, every hour of whose day was filled up with committees here and committees there.
“You were saying that you read and wrote a good deal: what do you write?” he asked.
“Letters.”
“Nothing but letters?”
“I love writing letters. I write to my brother and sister in India.”
“But that is not the only thing?”
“Oh, no!”
“What else do you write then?”
“You’re growing a bit indiscreet, you know.”
“Nonsense!” he laughed back, as if he were quite within his right. “What is it? Literature?”
“Of course not! My diary.”
He laughed loudly and gaily:
“You keep a diary! What do you want with a diary? Your days are all exactly alike!”
“Indeed they are not.”
He shrugged his shoulders, quite non-plussed. She had always been a riddle to him. She knew this and loved to mystify him:
“Sometimes my days are very nice and sometimes very horrid.”
“Really?” he said, smiling, looking at her out of his kind little eyes.
But still he did not understand.
“And so sometimes I have a great deal to write in my diary,” she continued.
“Let me see some of it.”
“By all means ... after I’m dead.”
A mock shiver ran through his broad shoulders:
“Brr! How gloomy!”
“Dead! What is there gloomy about that?” she asked, almost merrily.
But he rose to go:
“You frighten me,” he said, jestingly. “I must be going home; I have a lot to do still. So we see you to-morrow?”
“Thanks, yes: to-morrow.”
He took her hand; and she struck a little silver gong, for him to be let out. He stood looking at her a moment longer, with a smile in his beard:
“Yes, you’re a funny girl, and yet ... and yet we all like you!” he repeated, as if he wished to excuse himself in his own eyes for this affection.
And he stooped and kissed her on the forehead: he was so much older than she.
“I am very glad that you all like me,” she said. “Till to-morrow, then. Good-bye.”