SCENE 2
(Enter Montanus.)
LIEUTENANT. Welcome to the village.
MONTANUS. I humbly thank you.
LIEUTENANT. I have taken the liberty of addressing you, because there aren't many educated people hereabouts for a man to talk to.
MONTANUS. I am delighted that you have been a scholar. When did you graduate, if I may inquire?
LIEUTENANT. Oh, ten years ago.
MONTANUS. Then you are an old academicus. What was your specialty when you were a student?
LIEUTENANT. I read mostly the old Latin authors, and studied natural law and moral problems, as in fact I do still.
MONTANUS. That is mere trumpery, not academicum. Did you lay no stress on Philosophiam instrumentalem?
LIEUTENANT. Not especially.
MONTANUS. Then you have never done any disputation?
LIEUTENANT. No.
MONTANUS. Well, is that studying? Philosophia instrumentalis is the only solid studium; the rest are all very fine, but they are not learned. One who is well drilled in Logica and Metaphysica can get himself out of any difficulty and dispute on all subjects, even if he is unfamiliar with them. I know of nothing which I should take upon myself to defend and not get out of it very well. There was never any disputation at the university in which I did not take part. A philosophus instrumentalis can pass for a polyhistor.
LIEUTENANT. Who is the best disputer nowadays?
MONTANUS. A student called Peer Iverson. When he has refuted his opponent so that he hasn't a word to say for himself, he says, "Now, if you will take my proposition, I will defend yours." In all that sort of thing his Philosophia instrumentalis is the greatest help. It is a shame that the lad did not become a lawyer; he could have made a mighty good living. Next to him, I am the strongest, for the last time I disputed, he whispered in my ear, "Jam sumus ergo pares." Yet I will always yield him the palm.
LIEUTENANT. But I have heard it said that Monsieur can prove that it is the duty of a child to beat his parents. That seems to be absurd.
MONTANUS. If I said it, I am the man to defend it.
LIEUTENANT. I dare wager a ducat that you are not clever enough for that.
MONTANUS. I will risk a ducat on it.
LIEUTENANT. Good. It is agreed. Now, let's hear you.
MONTANUS. He whom one loves most, he beats most. One ought to love nobody more than his parents, ergo there is nobody whom one ought to beat more. Now, in another syllogism: what one has received he ought, according to his ability, to return. In my youth I received blows from my parents. Ergo I ought to give them blows in return.
LIEUTENANT. Enough, enough, I have lost. Faith, you shall have your ducat.
MONTANUS. Oh, you were not in earnest; I will profecto take no money.
LIEUTENANT. Upon my word, you shall take it. I swear you shall.
MONTANUS. Then I will take it to keep you from breaking an oath.
LIEUTENANT. But may I not also try to turn you into something? Par exemple, I will turn you into a soldier.
MONTANUS. Oh, that is very easy, for all students are soldiers of the intellect.
LIEUTENANT. No, I shall prove that you are a soldier in body. Whoever has taken press-money is an enlisted soldier. You have done so, ergo—
MONTANUS. Nego minorem.
LIEUTENANT. Et ego probo minorem by the two rix-dollars you took into your hand.
MONTANUS. Distinguendum est inter nummos.
LIEUTENANT. No distinction! You are a soldier.
MONTANUS. Distinguendum est inter the two: simpliciter and relative accipere.
LIEUTENANT. No nonsense! The contract is closed, and you have taken the money.
MONTANUS. Distinguendum est inter contractum verum et apparentem.
LIEUTENANT. Can you deny that you have received a ducat from me?
MONTANUS. Distinguendum est inter rem et modum rei.
LIEUTENANT. Come, follow me straight, comrade! You must get your uniform.
MONTANUS. There are your two rix-dollars back. You have no witnesses to my taking the money.