SCENE 2
Enter Montanus.
NILLE. Welcome home, my dear son. Our kind friend Jeronimus was no doubt very glad to see our honored son in good health after so long an absence.
MONTANUS. I have spoken neither to Jeronimus nor to his daughter, on account of that fellow with whom I got into a dispute.
NILLE. What kind of a man was he? Perhaps it was the schoolmaster.
MONTANUS. No, it was a stranger, who is going away to-day. I know him, although I have not associated with him in Copenhagen. I am annoyed almost to death by these people who imagine they have absorbed all wisdom, and still are idiots. I'll tell you, mother, how it is: This fellow has been ordinarius opponens once or twice; therein lies his sole achievement. But how did he perform his Partes? Misere et haesitanter absque methodo. Once when Praeses wished to distinguish inter rem et modum rei, he asked, Quid hoc est?—Wretch, you should have known that antequam in arenam descendis. Quid hoc est? Quae bruta! A fellow who ignores the distinctiones cardinales, and then wants to dispute publice!
NILLE. Oh, my respected son, you mustn't take such things as that to heart. I can see from what you say that he must be a fool.
MONTANUS. An ignoramus.
NILLE. Nothing could be plainer.
MONTANUS. An idiot.
NILLE. I can't see that he is anything else.
MONTANUS. Et quidem plane hospes in philosophia. Let the dog turn away from what he committed in the presence of so many worthy people.
NILLE. Is that what he did? By that you may know a swine.
MONTANUS. No, little mother, he did something worse than that; he openly confounded materiam cum forma.
NILLE. Plague take him!
MONTANUS. Does the fellow imagine that he can dispute?
NILLE. The devil he can!
MONTANUS. Not to mention the mistake he made in his Proemio, when he said "Lectissimi et doctissimi auditores."
NILLE. What a fool he must be!
MONTANUS. For putting "lectissimi" in front of "doctissimi," when "lectissimi" is a predicate, one can give a Deposituro.
NILLE. But didn't you get a chance to talk with Jeronimus, my son?
MONTANUS. No, just as I was about to go into the house, I saw the fellow passing by the gate, and as we knew each other, I went out to speak to him, whereupon we immediately began to talk of learned matters, and finally to dispute, so that I had to postpone my visit.
NILLE. I am very much afraid that Monsieur Jeronimus will be offended when he hears that my son has been in his yard, but went away without talking with him.
MONTANUS. Well, I can't help that. When any one attacks philosophy, he attacks my honor. I am fond of Mademoiselle Lisbed, but my Metaphysica and my Logica have priority.
NILLE. Oh, my dear son, what did I hear? Are you engaged to two other girls in Copenhagen? That will be a bad business in the matrimonial courts.
MONTANURS. You don't understand me; I didn't mean it in that way.
They are not two girls, but two sciences.
NILLE. Oh, that is another matter. But here comes the bailiff. Don't be angry any more.
MONTANUS. I can't be angry with him, for he is a simple, ignorant man, with whom I cannot get into a dispute.