SCENE 6
(Enter Montanus.)
MONTANUS. How do you do, my dear father-in-law. I am delighted to see you in good health.
JERONIMUS. People of my age can't enjoy remarkable health.
MONTANUS. You look mighty well, however.
JERONIMUS. Do you think so?
MONTANUS. How is Miss Lisbed?
JERONIMUS. Oh, well enough.
MONTANUS. But what is the matter? It seems to me, my dear father-in-law, that you answer me rather coldly.
JERONIMUS. I have no good reason to do otherwise.
MONTANUS. What wrong have I done?
JERONIMUS. I have been told that you have such peculiar opinions that people might really think that you had become mad or deranged, for how can a sane man be foolish enough to say that the earth is round?
MONTANUS. But, profecto, it is round. I must speak the truth.
JERONIMUS. The deuce it is the truth! Such a notion can't possibly come from anywhere but from the devil, who is the father of lies. I am sure there isn't a single man here in the village who would not condemn such an opinion. Just ask the bailiff, who is an intelligent man, if he does not agree with me.
JESPER. It is really all one to me whether it is oblong or round; but I must believe my own eyes, which show me that the earth is as flat as a pancake.
MONTANUS. It is all one to me, too, what the bailiff or the others here in the village think on the subject; for I know that the earth is round.
JERONIMUS. The deuce it is round! You must be crazy. You surely have eyes in your head as well as other men.
MONTANUS. It is known for certain, my dear father-in-law, that people live right under us with their feet turned toward ours.
JESPER. Ha, ha, ha; hi, hi, hi; ha, ha, ha!
JERONIMUS. Yes, you may well laugh, Mr. Bailiff, for he really has a screw loose in his head. Just you try to walk here on the ceiling with your head down, and see then what will happen.
MONTANUS. That is an entirely different thing, father-in-law, because—
JERONIMUS. I will never in the world be your father-in-law. I love my daughter too well to throw her away like that.
MONTANUS. I love your daughter as my own soul, but that I should give up my philosophy for her sake and drive my reason into exile,—that is more than you can demand.
JERONIMUS. Ha, ha! I see you have another lady-love in mind. You can keep your Lucy or your Sophy. I certainly shall not force my daughter on you.
MONTANUS. You mistake me. Philosophy is nothing other than a science, which has opened my eyes, in this respect as in others.
JERONIMUS. It has rather blinded both your eyes and your understanding. How can you believe such a thing is good?
MONTANUS. That is something which is beyond proof. No learned man doubts that any longer.
JESPER. I warrant you will never get Peer the deacon to agree with you.
MONTANUS. Peer the deacon! Yes, he is a great fellow. I am a fool to stand here and talk about philosophy with you. But in order to please Monsieur Jeronimus, I will nevertheless present one or two proofs. First, we learn it from travellers, who, when they go a few thousand miles from here, have day while we have night: they see other heavens, other stars.
JERONIMUS. Are you crazy? Is there more than one heaven and one earth?
JESPER. Yes, indeed, Monsieur Jeronimus, there are twelve heavens, one above the other, until the crystal heaven is reached. So far he is right.
MONTANUS. Ah! Quantae tenebrae!
JERONIMUS. In my youth I went sixteen times to the neighborhood of Kiel, but as sure as I am an honorable man, I never saw a different heaven from what we have here.
MONTANUS. You must travel sixteen times as far, Domine Jeronime, before you can notice such a thing, because—
JERONIMUS. Stop talking such nonsense; it is neither here nor there.
Let's hear your other proof.
MONTANUS. The other proof is taken from the eclipse of the sun and moon.
JESPER. Just hear that! Now, he is stark mad.
MONTANUS. What do you really suppose an eclipse to be?
JESPER. Eclipses are certain signs which are placed upon the sun and moon when some misfortune is going to happen on the earth,—a thing I can prove from my own experience: when my wife had a miscarriage three years ago, and when my daughter Gertrude died, both times there were eclipses just before.
MONTANUS. Oh, such nonsense will drive me mad.
JERONIMUS, The bailiff is right, for an eclipse never occurs unless it is a warning of something. When the last eclipse happened, everything seemed to be well, but that didn't last long; for a fortnight afterwards we got news from Copenhagen that six candidates for degrees were rejected at one time, all persons belonging to the gentry, and two of them the sons of deacons. If a man doesn't hear of misfortune at one place after such an eclipse, he hears of it at another.
MONTANUS. That is true enough, for no day passes that some misfortune does not happen somewhere in the world. But as far as these persons you mentioned are concerned, they have no need to blame the eclipse, for if they had studied more, they would have passed.
JERONIMUS. What is an eclipse of the moon, then?
MONTANUS. It is nothing other than the earth's shadow, which deprives the moon of the sunlight, and since the shadow is round, we thereby see that the earth is round, too. It all happens in a natural way, for eclipses can be predicted, and therefore it is folly to say that such are prophetic warnings of misfortune.
JERONIMUS. Oh, Mr. Bailiff, I feel ill. Unlucky was the far on which your parents allowed you to become a scholar.
JESPER. Yes, he comes mighty near to being an atheist. I must bring him and Peer the deacon together again. There is a man who speaks with force. He will persuade you yet, in either Latin or Greek, that the earth, thank God, is as flat as my hand. But here comes Madame Jeronimus with her daughter.