CHAPTER XII
MAX ERRINGTON'S RETURN
It was the evening of Adrienne's reception, and Diana was adding a few last touches to her toilette for the occasion. Bunty had been playing the part of lady's maid, and now they both stood back to observe the result of their labours.
"You do look nice!" remarked Miss Bunting, in a tone of satisfaction.
Diana glanced half-shyly into the long glass panel of the wardrobe door. There was something vivid and arresting about her to-night, as though she were tremulously aware that she was about to take the first step along her road as a public singer. A touch of excitement had added an unwonted brilliance to her eyes, while a faint flush came and went swiftly in her cheeks.
Bunty, without knowing quite what it was that appealed, was suddenly conscious of the sheer physical charm of her.
"You are rather wonderful," she said consideringly.
A sense of the sharp contrast between them smote Diana almost painfully—she herself, young and radiant, holding in her slender throat a key that would unlock the doors of the whole world, and beside her the little boarding-house help, equally young, and with all youth's big demands pent up within her, yet ahead of her only a drab vista of other boarding-houses—some better, some worse, mayhap—but always eating the bread of servitude, her only possible way of escape by means of matrimony with some little underpaid clerk.
And what had Bunty done to deserve so poor a lot? Hers was unquestionably by far the finer character of the two, as Diana frankly admitted to herself. In truth, the apparent injustices of fate made a riddle hard to read.
"And you,"—Diana spoke impulsively—"you are the dearest thing imaginable. I wish you were coming with me."
"I should like to hear you sing in those big rooms," acknowledged
Bunty, a little wistfully.
"When I give my recital you shall have a seat in the front row," Diana promised, as she picked up her gloves and music-case.
A tap sounded at the door.
"Are you ready?" inquired Olga Lermontof a voice from outside.
Bunty opened the door.
"Oh, come in, Miss Lermontof. Yes, Miss Quentin is quite ready, and I must run away now."
Olga came in and stood for a moment looking at Diana. Then she deliberately stepped close to her, so that their reflections showed side by side in the big mirror.
"Black and white angels—quite symbolical," she observed, with a short laugh.
She was dressed entirely in black, and her sable figure made a startling foil to Diana's slender whiteness.
"Nervous?" she asked laconically, noticing the restless tapping of the other's foot.
"I believe I am," replied Diana, smiling a little.
"You needn't be."
"I should be terrified if anyone else were accompanying me. But, somehow, I think you always give me confidence when I'm singing."
"Probably because I'm always firmly convinced of your ultimate success."
"No, no. It isn't that. It's because you're the most perfect accompanist any one could have."
Miss Lermontof swept her a mocking curtsey.
"Mille remercîments!" Then she laughed rather oddly. "I believe you still have no conception of the glory of your voice, you queer child."
"Is it really so good?" asked Diana, with the genuine artist's craving to be reassured.
Olga Lermontof looked at her speculatively.
"I suppose you can't understand it at present," she said, after a pause. "You will, though, when you've given a few concerts and seen its effect upon the audience. Now, come along; it's time we started."
They found Adrienne's rooms fairly full, but not in the least overcrowded. The big double doors between the two drawing-rooms had been thrown open, and the tide of people flowed back and forth from one room to the other. A small platform had been erected at one end, and as Diana and Miss Lermontof entered, a French diseuse was just ascending it preparatory to reciting in her native tongue.
The recitation—vivid, accompanied by the direct, expressive gesture for which Mademoiselle de Bonvouloir was so famous—was followed at appropriate intervals by one or two items of instrumental music, and then Diana found herself mounting the little platform, and a hush descended anew upon the throng of people, the last eager chatterers twittering into silence as Olga Lermontof struck the first note of the song's prelude.
Diana was conscious of a small sea of faces all turned towards her, most of them unfamiliar. She could just see Adrienne smiling at her from the back of the room, and near the double doors Jerry was standing next a tall man whose back was towards the platform as he bent to move aside a chair that was in the way. The next moment he had straightened himself and turned round, and with a sudden, almost agonising leap of the heart Diana saw that it was Max Errington.
He had come back! After that first wild throb her heart seemed, to stand still, the room grew dark around her, and, she swayed a little where she stood.
"Nervous!" murmured one man to another, beneath his breath.
Olga Lermontof had finished the prelude, and, finding that Diana had failed to come in, composedly recommenced it. Diana was dimly conscious of the repetition, and then the mist gradually cleared away from before her eyes, and this time, when the accompanist played the bar of her entry, the habit of long practice prevailed and she took up the voice part with accurate precision.
The hush deepened in the room. Perhaps the very emotion under which Diana was labouring added to the charm of her wonderful voice—gave it an indescribable appeal which held the critical audience, familiar with all the best that the musical world could offer, spell-bound.
When she ceased, and the last exquisite note had vibrated into silence, the enthusiasm of the applause that broke out would have done justice to a theatre pit audience rather than to a more or less blasé society crowd. And when the whisper went round that this was to be her only song—that Baroni had laid his veto upon her singing twice—the clapping and demands for an encore were redoubled.
Olga Lermontof's eyes, roaming over the room, rested at last upon the face of Max Errington, and with the recollection of Diana's hesitancy at the beginning of the song a brief smile flashed across her face.
"What shall I do?" Diana, who had bowed repeatedly without stemming the applause, turned to the accompanist, a little flushed with the thrill of this first public recognition of her gifts.
"Sing 'The Haven of Memory,'" whispered Olga.
It was a sad little love lyric which Baroni himself had set to music specially for the voice of his favourite pupil, and as Diana's low rich notes took up the plaintive melody, the audience settled itself down with a sigh of satisfaction to listen once more.
Do you remember
Our great love's pure unfolding,
The troth you gave,
And prayed for God's upholding,
Long and long ago?
Out of the past
A dream—and then the waking—
Comes back to me,
Of love and love's forsaking
Ere the summer waned.
Ah! let me dream
That still a little kindness
Dwelt in the smile
That chid my foolish blindness,
When you said good-bye.
Let me remember,
When I am very lonely,
How once your love
But crowned and blessed me only,
Long and long ago! [1]
The haunting melody ceased, and an infinitesimal pause ensued before the clapping broke out. It was rather subdued this time; more than one pair of eyes were looking at the singer through the grey mist of memory.
An old lady with very white hair and a reputation for a witty tongue that had been dipped in vinegar came up to Diana as she descended from the platform.
"My dear," she said, and the keen old eyes were suddenly blurred and dim. "I want to thank you. One is apt to forget—when one is very lonely—that we've most of us worn love's crown just once—if only for a few moments of our lives. . . . And it's good to be reminded of it, even though it may hurt a little."
"That was the Dowager Duchess of Linfield," murmured Olga, when the old lady had moved away again. "They say she was madly in love with an Italian opera singer in the days of her youth. But, of course, at that time he was quite unknown and altogether ineligible, so she married the late Duke, who was old enough to be her father. By the time he died the opera singer was dead, too."
That was Diana's first taste of the power of a beautiful voice to unlock the closed chambers of the heart where lie our hidden memories—the long pain of years, sometimes unveiled to those whose gifts appeal directly to the emotions. It sobered her a little. This, then, she thought, this leaf of rue that seemed to bring the sadness of the world so close, was interwoven with the crown of laurel.
"Won't you say how do you do to me, Miss Quentin? I've been deputed by Miss de Gervais to see that you have some supper after breaking all our hearts with your singing."
Diana, roused from her thoughts, looked up to see Max Errington regarding her with the old, faintly amused mockery in his eyes.
She shook hands.
"I don't believe you've got a heart to break," she retorted, smiling.
"Oh, mine was broken long before I heard you sing. Otherwise I would not answer for the consequences of that sad little song of yours. What is it called?"
"'The Haven of Memory,'" replied Diana, as Errington skilfully piloted her to a small table standing by itself in an alcove of the supper-room.
"What a misleading name! Wouldn't 'The Hell of Memory' be more appropriate—more true to life?"
"I suppose," answered Diana soberly, "that it might appear differently to different people."
"You mean that the garden of memory may have several aspects—like a house? I'm afraid mine faces north. Yours, I expect, is full of spring flowers"—smiling a little quizzically.
"With the addition of a few weeds," she answered.
"Weeds? Surely not? Who planted them there?" His keen, penetrating eyes were fixed on her face.
Diana was silent, her fingers trifling nervously with the salt in one of the little silver cruets, first piling it up into a tiny mound, and then flattening it down again and patterning its surface with criss-cross lines.
There was no one near. In the alcove Errington had chosen, the two were completely screened from the rest of the room by a carved oak pillar and velvet curtains.
He laid his hand over the restless fingers, holding them in a sure, firm clasp that brought back vividly to her mind the remembrance of that day when he had helped her up the steps of the quayside at Crailing.
"Diana"—his voice deepened a little—"am I responsible for any of the weeds in your garden?"
Her hand trembled a little under his. After a moment she threw back her head defiantly and met his glance.
"Perhaps there's a stinging-nettle or two labelled with your name," she answered lightly. "The Nettlewort Erringtonia," she added, smiling.
Diana was growing up rapidly.
"I suppose," he said slowly, "you wouldn't believe me if I told you that I'm sorry—that I'd uproot them if I could?"
She looked away from him in silence. He could not see her expression, only the pure outline of her cheek and a little pulse that was beating rapidly in her throat.
With a sudden, impetuous movement he released her hand, almost flinging it from him.
"My application for the post of gardener is refused, I see," he said. "And quite rightly, too. It was great presumption on my part. After all"—with bitter mockery—"what are a handful of nettles in the garden of a prima donna? They'll soon be stifled beneath the wreaths of laurel and bouquets that the world will throw you. You'll never even feel their sting."
"You are wrong," said Diana, very low, "quite wrong. They have stung me. Mr. Errington"—and as she turned to him he saw that her eyes were brimming with tears—"why can't we be friends? You—you have helped me so many times that I don't understand why you treat me now . . . almost as though I were an enemy?"
"An enemy? . . . You!"
"Yes," she said steadily.
He was silent.
"I don't wish to be," she went on, an odd wistfulness in her voice.
"Can't we—be friends?"
Errington pushed his plate aside abruptly.
"You don't know what you're offering me," he said, in hurrying tones. "If I could only take it! . . . But I've no right to make friends—no right. I think I've been singled out by fate to live alone."
"Yet you are friends with Miss de Gervais," she said quickly.
"I write plays for her," he replied evasively. "So that we are obliged to see a good deal of each other."
"And apparently you don't want to be friends with me."
"There can be little in common between a mere quill-driver and—a prima donna."
She turned on him swiftly.
"You seem to forget that at present you are a famous dramatist, while I am merely a musical student."
"You divested yourself of that title for ever this evening," he returned, "It was no 'student' who sang 'The Haven of Memory.'"
"All the same I shall have to study for a long time yet, Baroni tells me,"—smiling a little.
"In that sense a great artiste is always a student. But what I meant by saying that a mere writer has no place in a prima donna's life was that, whereas my work is more or less a hobby, and my little bit of 'fame'—as you choose to call it—merely a side-issue, your work will be your whole existence. You will live for it entirely—your art and the world's recognition of it will absorb every thought. There will be no room in your life for the friendship of insignificant people like myself."
"Try me," she said demurely.
He swung round on her with a sudden fierceness.
"By God!" he exclaimed. "If you knew the temptation . . . if you knew how I long to take what you offer!"
She smiled at him—a slow, sweet smile that curved her mouth, and climbing to her eyes lit them with a soft radiance.
"Well?" she said quietly. "Why not?"
He got up abruptly, and going to the window, stood with his back to her, looking out into the night.
She watched him consideringly. Intuitively she knew that he was fighting a battle with himself. She had always been conscious of the element of friction in their intercourse. This evening it had suddenly crystallised into a definite realisation that although this man desired to be her friend—Truth, at the bottom of her mental well, whispered perhaps even something more—he was caught back, restrained by the knowledge of some obstacle, some hindrance to their friendship of which she was entirely ignorant.
She waited in silence.
Presently he turned back to her, and she gathered from his expression that he had come to a decision. In the moment that elapsed before he spoke she had time to be aware of a sudden, almost breathless anxiety, and instinctively she let her lids fall over her eyes lest he should read and understand the apprehension in them.
"Diana."
His voice came gently and gravely to her ears. With an effort she looked up and found him regarding her with eyes from which all the old ironical mockery had fled. They were very steady and kind—kinder than she had ever believed it possible for them to be. Her throat contracted painfully, and she stretched out her hand quickly, pleadingly, like a child.
He took it between both his, holding it with the delicate care one accords a flower, as though fearful of hurting it.
"Diana, I'm going to accept—what you offer me. Heaven knows I've little right to! There are . . . worlds between you, and me. . . . But if a man dying of thirst in the desert finds a pool—a pool of crystal water—is he to be blamed if he drinks—if he quenches his thirst for a moment? He knows the pool is not his—never can he his. And when the rightful owner comes along—why, he'll go away, back to the loneliness of the desert again. But he'll always remember that his lips have once drunk from the pool—and been refreshed."
Diana spoke very low and wistfully.
"He—he must go back to the desert?"
Errington bent his head.
"He must go back," he answered. "The gods have decreed him outcast from life's pleasant places; he is ordained to wander alone—always."
Diana drew her hand suddenly away from his, and the hasty movement knocked over the little silver salt-cellar on the table, scattering the salt on the cloth between them.
"Oh!" she cried, flushing with distress. "I've spilled the salt between us—we shall quarrel."
The electricity in the atmosphere was gone, and Errington laughed gaily.
"I'm not afraid. See,"—he filled their glasses with wine—"let's drink to our compact of friendship."
He raised his glass, clinking it gently against hers, and they drank. But as Diana replaced her glass on the table, she looked once more in a troubled way at the little heap of salt that lay on the white cloth.
"I wish I hadn't spilled it," she said uncertainly. "It's an ill omen.
Some day we shall quarrel."
Her eyes were grave and brooding, as though some prescience of evil weighed upon her.
Errington lifted his glass, smiling.
"Far be the day," he said lightly.
But her eyes, meeting his, were still clouded with foreboding.
[1] This song, "The Haven of Memory," has been set to music by Isador Epstein: published by G. Ricordi & Co., 265 Regent Street, W.