THOU SHALT NOT
In our effort to get away from the harsh negative teaching of the past which made young people feel that life meant "don't," we have made the mistake of failing to teach with power the fact that there are things to which God's law and man's law say thou shall not. "I did not know it would do any harm," is oftentimes a truthful statement and the girl has the right to be carefully, wisely and sanely taught the things to which she must say no. A girl's religion must have not only the constraining power which sends her out to do the kindly deed, say the word of comfort and cheer, give of her time and her talent to help make life easier for those who find it hard, but it must have the restraining power which shall keep her from self-indulgence and sin.
Whenever the thou shalt not side of religion is mentioned the girls themselves and those responsible for their training immediately think of the question of amusements, which is after all only a part of the greater question of how much leisure a girl should have and what she should do with it. Preachers, teachers and Christians generally, differ so widely on the matter of disputed amusement questions that thou shalt not loses its force. It is the parents' right to decide the girl's amusements and determine her social life and when one sees the length to which parents permit and even encourage their daughters to go, he knows that the thou shalt not might well be said to them. When parents do not care what their girls do, or are too careless and ignorant to realize danger, when the girls are without friends and unprotected, then the teacher of religion must without hesitation, forcefully and with the arguments of fact, teach them to say "no" to the things which she believes can bring only harm, which weaken the power to resist other evils and which are unhealthy for the growing girl. One may teach with feeling and power the "thou shalt not" in which she believes without uttering bitter words of condemnation of those who differ with her.
Religion and the law together have the right to say to the unprotected girl, lacking wisdom, without discretion, eager for fun and adventure, ignorant of danger, thou shall not. The words should be written over every unchaperoned or inadequately chaperoned high school dance, over the public dance hall, over the cabaret, over the vaudeville where the vulgar hides behind a mask, over every place which by its very nature opens doors of temptation and lowers powers of resistance. The teachers of religion, and all agencies for moral training and uplift, because of the comparative helplessness of girlhood, have the right to teach by every means at their command thou shalt not.
Some one must teach the growing girl that extravagance is sin; some one must say thou shalt not to her common faults of promising without thought of the cost of keeping the promise, of exaggeration and untruthfulness. Some one must help her see the utter folly of snobbishness and false pride. In some way she must be taught the cruelty and meanness of gossip, the results of a sharp tongue and a critical spirit. She must be shown the sin of ingratitude and the curse of jealousy and envy. In fact the old ten commandments are needed by the girlhood of today as truly as they were needed by that great army of people in the days of the youth of a race, when their great law giver and leader strove to save them from the results of their own ignorance and newly acquired liberty.
Who teaches thou shalt not to the girl of today? Indirectly, a great many people. Directly, clearly, definitely so that she understands and is impressed, very few. The Sunday-school in a half-hour a week attempts to do it, but the Sunday-school reaches a very small part of the girlhood of our land, and its work with those whom it has reached is often ineffective. It is at present engaged in a serious effort to make its teachings more effective and far reaching. The public school is not directly teaching the thou shalt not, for teaching it does not mean saying it, in the form of a command. It does much indirect moral teaching, which is invaluable. It is experimenting with direct moral teaching and many of the experiments have shown highly gratifying results, which lead us to hope that the day is not far distant when direct teaching of the common laws of moral living shall find a place in every school. We shall have to find some new definition first, for such words as success, wealth, honesty, courage, honor and the long list in the vocabularies which the pupils in every school make for themselves.
In reacting against the thundering negatives of the past, the church has, in the decade or more that lies behind us, been teaching an unbalanced religion. "Thou shalt," and "thou shalt not" must be taught together if the best results are to be reached. In individual instances so great success has been won by the teacher of religion that his method is worth one's earnest study.
One morning there came into Sunday-school class a very ordinary looking little girl of ten years. Her father was a truck driver, her mother had been a domestic. There were four children in the home, the little girl being next to the youngest. The parents had no relation to any church. The two older children had turned out great disappointments to them and when a neighbor invited the ten-year-old to go to Sunday-school the mother gave her consent, saying that perhaps the church could keep her from following her brother and sister. It did.
In that home there was no moral instruction, no moral suasion. When the children had told a lie directly to the mother they were punished severely. When they told a lie to a teacher or neighbor the mother was their defender and they escaped punishment. They heard their mother lie to her husband, to her neighbors, to the rent collector and the grocer. They learned not to fear a lie but to fear being discovered in it. They became clever liars and the little girl at ten was an adept. For disobedience, cheating, taking food and pennies they were alternately turned over to their father for punishment or shielded from his wrath according to the mother's temper at the time of the offense. They were not taught or helped to hate sin or to see it in its hideous aspect. Thou shalt not was a matter of convenience, not of principle.
The teacher into whose class the little girl came was a woman of experience who before her marriage had been a teacher in the public school. She called in the home, she learned the standing of the girl in the day school, in less than a month she knew her. What she found out made her determine to help the child hate falsehood and cheating in every form. By story and incidents she showed Sunday after Sunday, side by side, the cowardice and unhappiness of the liar, the distrust of his fellowmen, the misery which he must suffer and the courage, happiness and freedom of the truth-loving and truth-telling child. Every lesson said "don't lie" and "speak and act the truth." One day the little girl was invited to her teacher's home to look at pictures and choose some books to read, for the teacher had discovered her love for pictures and books. After a very happy hour, while saying good-by in the hall, the child suddenly seized her teacher's hand and stammered, "How can you help telling lies?" The teacher says, "As I looked into her plain little face with its quivering lips, I loved her. I determined to fight for her and with her." It was a fight, for habit was strong and environment did not change. For over five years that teacher faithfully presented the "thou shall not" and "thou shall" which shaped the girl's ideals and helped her reach them. She taught her to pray; she inspired her with a genuine love for God the Helper, who would "see her through," she opened doors of service for her. At twenty she is a truthful and truth-loving girl, she has been able to say "no" to the things which proved the downfall of brother and sister; she is a useful, self-supporting, thoroughly respectable member of society and an earnest Christian. She has been able to lead her younger brother safely past the dangerous places and is helping him through school. What the church, through its religious instruction, has been able to do for this girl and many others it might do in far larger measure were it equipped with a regular teaching force adequate to its need, if its preachers could come into real contact with the children and youth of the community and present to them with power the thou shalt not which shall give them at least an opportunity to strive to obey.
If the girl herself is reading this chapter I know she will agree with me when I say that a girl respects and honors in her heart the teacher who presents to her, fearlessly and honestly, the things which she believes a girl cannot do with safety, which lead into dangerous places and which make it hard for her to keep pure, true, unselfish in thought and deed; and she respects even more highly the teacher who can give her broad sane reasons for finding substitutes for these things. She may, as she grows older, come to the conclusion that her teacher was mistaken but she respects her for her honest effort to help.
In every girl's creed there must be some negative. The law says you must and you must not. As she reads this page perhaps some girl will stop for a moment and write out the things to which she believes a girl should say "no." Here is such a list, written in the form of a creed by a girl when a sophomore at college.
"I believe that a girl should not indulge in amusements which make her nervous and excited, give her a headache, make it hard for her to study, cost her a good deal of money and crowd out all thoughts of duty and which make her feel envious and jealous of those who are more popular or fortunate than she, and sometimes make her think things she hates to remember.
I believe that a girl should never repeat what she has heard about another person if it could in any way injure that person's character.
I believe that she should not lie even by looks or by silence. I believe that she should never deceive another, never make fun of the weaknesses or misfortunes of other people and never treat another girl as she would not herself want to be treated."
This is a negative creed. It does not say do, it says don't, but there are times when every girl needs Don't. Put don't into your own creed, you girls who are thinking over these things.
When you are tempted to lose your head and plunge into things you have been taught are wrong, just because "everybody" that mysterious mischief maker, is doing these things, keep steady and Don't.
When you are tempted to make things more comfortable, more interesting, more exciting by exaggeration—Don't.
When you are tempted to escape by a lie the consequences of what you have said or done—Don't.
When you are tempted to let envy or jealousy find expression in words or acts of meanness and unkindness—Don't.
When you are tempted to repeat a story or say a daring thing you would not say in the presence of the one whose respect you desire—Don't.
When you are tired of the struggle to be true and do right, tired of the effort to seek always the best things and are tempted to give up—Don't.
When you are tempted to repay injustice with revenge, unkindness with cruelty, jealousy with malice, to do to others as they do to you—Don't.
Learn the power of control, of restraint and though it be only the negative side of religion, it will help to make you strong.
When the instructor in religion opens his eyes and sees the peril which lies in wait for the girl wage earner, the society girl and even the schoolgirl, what he is forced to see makes him say with a passionate cry from his soul, as he thinks of the individual girls whom he knows and loves, "Thou shall not."