CONTENTS

I.Sunshine and Fun[23]
The Sunny Side of the Street.—Jests and Jesters.—The Force of a Joke.—Lincoln’s Way.—Kings and Their Joke-makers.—As They do It in Persia and Ireland.—“Chestnuts.”—Few Modern Jesters but no End of Jokers.—Entertainers and Their Ways.
II.Sunny Men of Serious Presence[31]
Richard Croker.—A Good Fellow and Not Hard to Approach, if One is not in Politics.—Croker as a Haymaker.—Does not Keep Opinions on Tap.—He and Chauncey Depew on New York City Politics.—Croker Bewilders a London Salesman.—His Greatest Pride.—Recorder Goff.—Not as Severe as His Acts.—Justice Tempered With Mercy.—Two Puzzling Cases.
III.At the White House and Near It[41]
My Prophecy to “Major” McKinley.—President McKinley Becomes “One of the Boys” of My Audience; His Attention to His Wife.—How He Won a Vermont City.—A Story of the Spanish War.—My First Meeting with President Harrison.—A Second and More Pleasing One.—A Chance Which I Gladly Lost.—Some of President Harrison’s Stories.—I Led a Parade Given in His Honor.—Vice-Presidents Morton and Hobart.
IV.Story-Telling as an Art[57]
Different Ways of Story-Telling.—The Slow Story-Teller.—Lincoln’s Stories.—Bad Telling of Good Stories.—The Right Way to Tell a Story.—The Humorous, the Comic and the Witty Story.—Artemus Ward, Robert J. Burdette and Mark Twain as Story-Tellers.
V.Actors’ Jokes[68]
All of Them Full of Humor at All Times.—“Joe” Jefferson.—J. K. Emmett.—Fay Templeton.—Willie Collier.—An Actor’s Portrait on a Church Wall.—“Gus” Thomas, the Playwright.—Stuart Robson.—Henry Dixey.—Evans and Hoey.—Charles Hoyt.—Wilson Barrett.—W. S. Gilbert.—Henry Irving.
VI.A Sunny Old City[81]
Some Aspects of Philadelphia.—Fun in a Hospital.—“The Cripple’s Palace.”—An Invalid’s Success in Making Other Invalids Laugh.—Fights for the Fun of Fighting.—My Rival Friends.—Boys Will Be Boys.—Cast Out of Church.—A Startling Recognition.—Some Pleasures of Attending Funerals.—How I Claimed the Protection of the American Flag.
VII.My First Trip to London[93]
Large Hopes vs. Small Means.—At the Savage Club.—My First Engagement.—Within an Ace of Losing It.—Alone in a Crowd.—A Friendly Face to the Rescue.—The New York Welcome to a Fine Fellow.—One English Way With Jokes.—People Who are Slow to Laugh.—Disturbing Elements.—Cold Audiences.—Following a Suicide.
VIII.Experiences in London[108]
Customs and Climate Very Unlike Our Own.—No Laughter in Restaurants.—Clever Cabbies.—Oddities in Fire-Fighting.—The “Rogue’s Gallery.”—In Scotland Yard.—“Petticoat Lane.”—A Cemetery for Pet Dogs.—“Dogs Who Are Characters.”—The Professional Toast-Master.—Solemn After-dinner Speakers.—An Autograph Table-cloth.—American Brides of English Husbands.
IX.“Luck” in Story-Telling[121]
The Real Difference Between Good Luck and Bad.—Good Luck with Stories Presupposes a Well-stored Memory.—Men Who Always Have the Right Story Ready.—Mr. Depew.—Bandmaster Sousa’s Darky Stories.—John Wanamaker’s Sunday-School Stories.—General Horace Porter’s Tales That go to the Spot.—The Difference Between Parliament and Congress.
X.Journalists and Authors[133]
Not all Journalists are Critics, Nor are all Critics Fault-finders.—The Most Savage Newspapers not the Most Influential.—The Critic’s Duty.—Horace Greeley.—Mark Twain’s First Earnings.—A Great Publisher Approached by Green Goods Men.—Henry Watterson.—Opie Reid.—Quimby of the “Free Press.”—Laurence Hutton, Edwin Booth and I in Danger Together.
XI.The Unexpected[146]
Robert Hilliard and I and a Dog.—Hartford’s Actors and Playwrights.—A Fit that Caused a Misfit.—A Large Price to Hear a Small Man.—Jim Corbett and I.—A Startled Audience.—Captain Williams and “Red” Leary.—“Joe” Choate to the Rescue.—Bait for a Dude.—Deadheads.—Within an Inch of Davy Jones.—Perugini and Four Fair Adorers.—Scanlon and Kernell.
XII.Sunshine in Shady Places[164]
On Blackwell’s Island.—Snakes and Snake Charmers.—Insane People as Audiences.—A Poorhouse That was a Large House.—I am Well Known by Another Profession.—Criminals are Not Fools.—Some Pathetic Experiences.—The Largest Fee I Ever Received.
XIII.“Buffalo Bill”[177]
He Works Hard But Jokes Harder.—He and I Stir Up a Section of Paris.—In Peril of a Mob.—My Indian Friends in the Wild West Company.—Bartholdi and Cody.—English Bewilderment Over the “Wild West” People.—Major “Jack” Burke.—Cody as a Stage Driver.—Some of His Western Stories.—When He Had the Laugh on Me.
XIV.The Art of Entertaining[190]
Not as Easy as It Would Seem.—Scarcity of Good Stories for the Purpose.—Drawing-room Audiences are Fastidious.—Noted London Entertainers.—They are Guests of the People Who Engage Them.—London Methods and Fees.—Blunders of a Newly-wed Hostess from America.—Humor Displaces Sentiment in the Drawing-room.—My Own Material and Its Sources.
XV.In the Sunshine with Great Preachers[199]
I am Nicknamed “The Theological Comedian.”—My Friend, Henry Ward Beecher.—Our Trip Through Scotland and Ireland.—His Quickness of Repartee.—He and Ingersoll Exchange Words.—Ingersoll’s Own Sunshine.—DeWitt Talmage on the Point of View.—He Could Even Laugh at Caricatures of His Own Face.—Dr. Parkhurst on Strict Denominationalism.
XVI.The Prince of Wales, Now King Edward VII[211]
The Most Popular Sovereign in Europe.—How He Saved Me From a Master of Ceremonies.—Promotion by Name.—He and His Friends Delight Two American Girls.—His Sons and Daughters.—An Attentive and Loving Father.—Untiring at His Many Duties.—Before He Ascended the Throne.—Unobtrusive Politically, Yet Influential.
XVII.Sir Henry Irving[222]
A Model of Courtesy and Kindness.—An Early Friend Surprised by the Nature of His Recognition.—His Tender Regard for Members of His Company.—Hamlet’s Ghost Forgets His Cue.—Quick to Aid the Needy.—Two Luck Boys.—Irving as a Joker.—The Story He Never Told Me.—Generous Offer to a Brother Actor-manager.—Why He is Not Rich.
XVIII.London Theatres and Theatre-Goers[236]
Why English and American Plays Do Best at Home.—The Intelligent Londoner Takes the Theatre Seriously.—Play-going as a Duty.—The High-class English Theatre a Costly Luxury.—American Comedies too Rapid of Action to Please the English.—Bronson Howard’s “Henrietta,” not Understood in London.—The Late Clement Scott’s Influence and Personality.
XIX.Tact[247]
An Important Factor of Success.—Better Than Diplomacy.—Some Noted Possessors of Tact.—James G. Blaine.—King Edward VII.—Queen Alexandra.—Henry Ward Beecher.—Mme. Patti.—Mrs. Ronalds.—Mrs. Cleveland.—Mrs. Langtry.—Colonel Ingersoll.—Mrs. Kendall.—General Sherman.—Chauncey M. Depew.—Mrs. James Brown Potter.—Mme. Nordica.
XX.Adelina Patti[263]
Her Home in Wales.—Some of Her Pets.—An Ocean Voyage With Her.—The Local Reception at Her Home-coming.—Mistress of an Enormous Castle and a Great Retinue of Servants.—Her Winter Garden and Private Theatre.—A Most Hospitable and Charming Hostess.—Her Local Charities are Continuous and Many.
XXI.Some Notable People[278]
Cornelius Vanderbilt.—Mrs. Mackey.—The Rockefellers.—Jay Gould.—George Gould and Mary Anderson.—Mrs. Minnie Maddern Fiske.—Augustin Daly.—Nicola Tesla.—Cheiro.
XXII.Human Nature[292]
Magnetism and Its Elements.—Every One Carries the Marks of His Trade.—How Men Are “Sized Up” at Hotels.—Facial Resemblance of Some People to Animals.—What the Eye First Catches.—When Faces Are Masked.—Bathing in Japan.—The Conventions of Every Day Life That Hide Us From Our Fellows.—Genuineness is the One Thing Needful.
XXIII.Sunny Stage People[302]
“Joe” Jefferson.—I Take His Life.—His Absent-Mindedness.—Jefferson and General Grant.—Nat Goodwin, and How He Helped Me Make Trouble.—Our Bicycling Mishap.—Goodwin Pours Oil on Troubled Dramatic Waters Abroad.—George Leslie.—Wilton Lackaye.—Burr McIntosh.—Miss Ada Rehan.
XXIV.Sunshine is in Demand[313]
Laughter Wanted Everywhere.—Dismal Efforts at Fun.—English Humor.—The Difference Between Humor and Wit.—Composite Merriment.—Carefully Studied “Impromptus.”—National Types of Humor.—Some Queer Substitutes for the Real Article.—Humor is Sometimes “Knocked Out,” Yet Mirth is Medicine and Laughter Lengthens Life.
XXV.“Bill” Nye[321]
A Humorist of the Best Sort.—Not True to His Own Description of Himself.—Everybody’s Friend.—His Dog “Entomologist” and the Dog’s Companions.—A Man With the Right Word for Every Occasion.—His Pen-name was His Own.—Often Mistaken for a Distinguished Clergyman.—Killed by a Published Falsehood.
XXVI.Some Sunny Soldiers[330]
General Sherman.—His Dramatic Story of a Trysting-place.—The Battle of Shiloh Fought Anew.—Sherman and Barney Williams.—General Russell A. Alger on War.—General Lew Wallace.—The Room in Which He Wrote “Ben Hur.”—His Donkey Story.—General Nelson A. Miles and Some of His Funny Stories.—A Father Who Wished He Had Been a Priest.
XXVII.Some First Experiences[348]
When I was a Boy.—One Christmas Frolic.—How I Got on One Theatre’s Free List.—My First Experience as a Manager.—Strange Sequel of a Modest Business Effort.—My First Cigar and How It Undid Me.—The Only “Drink” I Ever Took.—My First Horse in Central Park.—I Volunteer as a Fifer in School Band, with Sad Results to All Concerned.