THE FIRST WIFE.
Softly and swiftly the hazy September days glided into dun October, who shook down leafy showers of crimson and of gold upon the withered grass, and then gave place to the dark November rains, which made the city seem doubly desolate to Katy, who, like the ghost of her former self, moved listlessly about her handsome home, starting quickly as a fancied baby cry fell on her ear, and then weeping bitterly as she remembered the sad past and thought of the still sadder present. Katy was very unhappy, and the world, as she looked upon it, seemed utterly cheerless. For much of this unhappiness Wilford was himself to blame. After the first few days, during which he was all kindness and devotion, he did not try to comfort her, but seemed irritated that she should mourn so deeply for the child which, but for her indiscretion, might have been living still. Her seclusion from gay society troubled him. He did not like staying at home, and their evenings, when they were alone, passed in gloomy silence. At last Mrs. Cameron, annoyed at what annoyed her son, brought her influence to bear upon her daughter-in-law, trying to rouse her to something like her olden interest in the world; but all to no effect, and matters grew constantly worse, as Wilford thought Katy unreasonable and selfish, while Katy tried hard not to think him harsh in his judgment of her, and exacting in his requirements. "Perhaps she was the one most in fault; it could not be pleasant for him to see her so entirely changed from what she used to be," she thought, one morning late in November, when her husband had just left her with an angry frown upon his face and reproachful words upon his lips.
Father Cameron and his daughters were out of town, and Mrs. Cameron, feeling lonely in their absence, had asked Wilford and Katy to dine with her. But Katy did not wish to go, and so Wilford had left her in anger, saying "she could suit herself, but he should go at all events."
Left alone, Katy began to feel that she had done wrong in declining the invitation. Surely she could go there, and the echo of the bang with which Wilford had closed the street door was still vibrating in her ear, when her resolution began to give way, and while Wilford was riding moodily downtown, thinking harsh things against her, she was meditating what she thought might be an agreeable surprise. She would go around and meet him at dinner, trying to appear as much like her old self as she could, and so atone for anything which had hitherto been wrong in her demeanor.
It was strange how much better Katy felt when this decision was reached, and Esther, below stairs, raised her finger warningly for the cook to listen as her mistress trilled a few notes of a song. It was the first time since her return from Silverton that a sound like that had been heard within the house, and it seemed the precursor of better days. At lunch, too, Katy's face was very bright, and Esther was surprised when, later in the day, she was sent for to arrange her mistress' hair, as she had not arranged it since baby died. Greatly annoyed, Wilford had been by the smooth bands combed so plainly back, and at the blackness of the dress; but now there was a change, and graceful curls fell about the face, giving it the girlish expression which Wilford liked. The somberness of the dark dress was relieved by simple folds of white crape at the throat and wrists, while the handsome jet ornaments, the gift of Wilford's father, added to the style and beauty of the childish figure, which had seldom looked lovelier than when ready and waiting for the carriage. At the door there was a ring, and Esther brought a note to Katy, who, recognizing her husband's handwriting, tore it quickly open and read as follows:
DEAR KATY: I have been suddenly called to leave the city on business, which will probably detain me for three days or more, and as I must go on the night train, I wish Esther to have my portmanteau ready with whatever I may need for the journey. As I proposed this morning, I shall dine with mother, but come home immediately after dinner. W. CAMERON.
Katy was glad now that she had decided to meet him at his mother's, as the knowing she had pleased him would make the time of his absence more endurable, and after seeing that everything was ready for him she stepped with a comparatively light heart into her carriage, and was driven to No. —— Fifth Avenue.
Mrs. Cameron was out, the servant said, but was expected every minute with Mr. Wilford.
"Never mind," Katy answered; "I want to surprise them, so please don't tell them I am here when you let them in," and going into the library she sat down before the grate, waiting rather impatiently until the door bell rang and she heard both Wilford's and Mrs. Cameron's voice in the hall.
Contrary to her expectations, they did not come into the library, but went instead into the parlor, the door of which was partially ajar, so that every word they said could be distinctly heard where Katy sat. It would seem that they were continuing a conversation which had been interrupted by their arriving home, for Mrs. Cameron said, with the tone she always assumed when sympathizing with her son: "I am truly sorry for you. Is she never more cheerful than when I have seen her?"
"Never," and Katy could feel just how Wilford's lips shut over his teeth as he said it; "never more cheerful, but worse if anything. Why, positively the house seems so like a funeral that I hate to leave the office and go back to it at night, knowing how mopish and gloomy Katy will be."
"My poor boy, it is worse than I feared," Mrs. Cameron said, with a little sigh, while Katy, with a great gasping sob, tried to rise and go to them, to tell them she was there—the mopish Katy, who made her home so like a funeral to her husband.
But her limbs refused to move, and she sank back powerless in her chair, compelled to listen to things which no true husband should ever say to a mother of his wife, especially when that wife's error consisted principally in mourning too much for the child "which but for her imprudence might have been living then." These were Wilford's very words, and though Katy had once expected him to say them, they came upon her now with a dreadful shock, making her view herself as the murderer of her child, and thus blunting the pain she might otherwise have felt as he went on to speak of Silverton and its inhabitants, just as he would not have spoken had he known she was so near. Then, encouraged by his mother, he talked again of her, not against her, but in a way which made her poor aching heart throb as she whispered, sadly: "He is disappointed in me. I do not come up to all that he expected. I do very well, considering my low origin, but I am not what his wife should be."
Wilford had not said all this, but Katy inferred it, and every nerve quivered with anguish as the wild wish came over her that she had died on that day when she sat in the summer grass at home watching the shadows come and go and waiting for Wilford Cameron. Poor Katy! she thought her cup of sorrow full, when, alas! only a drop had as yet been poured into it. But it was filling fast, and Mrs. Cameron's words: "It might have been better with Genevra," was the first outpouring of the overwhelming torrent which for a moment bore her life and sense away. She thought they meant her baby—the little Genevra sleeping under the snow in Silverton—and her white lips answered: "Yes, it would be better," before Wilford's voice was heard, saying, as he always said: "No, I have never wished Genevra in Katy's place, though I have sometimes wondered what the result would have been had I learned in season how much I wronged her."
Was heaven and earth coming together, or what made Katy's brain so dizzy and the room so dark, as, with head bent forward and lips apart, she strained her ear to catch every word of the conversation which followed, and in which she saw glimpses of that leaf offered her once to read, and from which she had promised not to shrink should it ever be thrust upon her? But she did shrink, oh! so shudderingly, holding up her hands and striking them through the empty air as if she would thrust aside the terrible scepter risen so suddenly before her. She had heard all that she cared to hear then. Another word and she should surely die where she was, within hearing of the voices still talking of Genevra. Stopping her ears to shut out the dreadful sound, she tried to think what she should do. To gain the door and reach the street was her desire, and throwing on her wrappings she went noiselessly into the hall, and carefully turning the lock closed the door behind her, finding herself alone in the street in the dusk of a November night. But Katy was not afraid, and drawing her hood closely over her face she sped on until her own house was reached, alarming Esther with her frightened face, but explaining that she had been taken suddenly ill and returned before dinner.
"Mr. Cameron will be here soon," she said. "I do not need anything to-night, so you can leave me alone and go where you like—to the theatre, if you choose. I heard you say you wished to go. Here is the money for you and Phillips," and handing a bill to the slightly puzzled Esther, she dismissed her from the room.
Meanwhile, at the elder Cameron's, no one had a suspicion of Katy's recent presence, for the girl who had admitted her had gone to visit a sick sister, with whom she was to spend the night. Thus Katy's secret was safe, and Wilford, when at last he bade his mother good-by and started for home, was not prepared for the livid face, the bloodshot eyes, and the strange, unnatural look which met him at the threshold.
Katy was waiting for him, and answered his ring herself, her hands grasping his almost fiercely and dragging him up the stairs to her own room, where, more like a maniac than Katy Cameron, she confronted him with the startling question:
"Who is Genevra Lambert? It is time I knew before committing greater sin. Tell me, Wilford, who is she?"
She was standing before him, her slight figure seeming to expand into a greater height, the features glowing with strong excitement, and her hot breath coming hurriedly through her dilated nostrils, but never opening the pale lips set so firmly together. There was something terrible in her look and attitude, and it startled Wilford, who recoiled a moment from her, scarcely able to recognize the Katy hitherto so gentle and quiet. She had learned his secret, but the facts must have been distorted, he knew, or she had never been so agitated. From beneath his hair the great sweat drops came pouring, as he tried to approach her and take the uplifted hands, motioning him aside with the words: "Not touch me; no, not touch me till you have told me who is Genevra Lambert."
She repeated the question twice, and rallying all his strength Wilford answered her at last: "Genevra Lambert was my wife!"
"I thought so," and the next moment Katy lay in Wilford's arms, dead, as he feared, for there was no motion about the eyelids, no motion that he could perceive about the pulse or heart, as he laid the rigid form upon the bed and then bent every energy to restore her, even though he feared that it was hopeless.
"I must do what I can," he said, thinking once to send for a physician and laying his hand upon the bell rope for the purpose of ringing up a servant; but a faint, gasping sound met his ear, assuring him there yet was life and that Katy was not dead.
If possible he would prefer that no one should intrude upon them now, and he chafed her icy hands and bathed her face until the eyes unclosed again, but with a shudder turned away as they met his. Then as she grew stronger and remembered the past she started up, exclaiming: "If Genevra Lambert is your wife, what then am I? Oh, Wilford, how could you make me not a wife, when I trusted and loved you so much?"
He knew now that she was laboring under a mistake, and he did not wonder at the violence of her emotions if she believed he had wronged her so cruelly, and coming nearer to her he said: "You mistake me; Genevra Lambert was my wife once, but is not now, for she is dead. Do you hear me, Katy? Genevra died years ago, when you were a little girl playing in the fields at home."
By mentioning Silverton he hoped to bring back something of her olden look, in place of the expression which troubled and frightened him. The experiment was successful and great tears gathered in Katy's eyes, washing out the wild, unnatural gleam, while the lips whispered: "And it was her picture Juno saw. She told me the night I came and I tried to question you. You remember?"
Wilford did remember it and he replied: "Yes, but I did not suppose you knew I had a picture. You have been a good wife, Katy, never to mention it since then;" and he tried to kiss her forehead, but she covered it with her hands, saying, sadly: "Not yet, Wilford, I cannot bear it now. I must know the whole about Genevra. Why didn't you tell me before? Why have you deceived me so?"
"Katy," and Wilford grew very earnest in his attempts to defend himself, "do you remember that day we sat under the buttonwood tree and you promised to be mine? Try and recall the incidents of that hour and see if I did not hint at some things past which I wished had been otherwise—did not offer to show you the blackest page of my whole life and you would not see it. Was that so, Katy?"
"Yes," she answered, and he continued: "You said you were satisfied to take me as I was. You would not hear evil against me and so I acquiesced, bidding you not shrink back if ever the time should come when you must read that page. I was to blame, I know, but there were many extenuating circumstances, much to excuse me for withholding what you would not hear."
Wilford did not like to be censured, neither did he like to censure himself, and now that Katy was out of danger and comparatively calm, he began to build about himself a fortress of excuses for having kept from her the secret of his life.
"Would not most any man have done just as I did?" he continued. "Can you mention one who would not?"
"Yes, Cousin Morris," Katy answered; "he would never have deceived me thus."
A little vexed at the mention of Dr. Grant, Wilford replied: "I do not pretend to be a saint, and I believe your cousin does; but I doubt whether even he, with all his goodness, would do very differently from what I have done; but tell me how, where did you hear of Genevra?"
Amid sobs and tears Katy told him how she had repented of her decision not to join him at his mother's, coming to the conclusion that she was doing wrong to seclude herself so much and trying her best to look well again in his eyes.
"I meant to surprise you," she said, "and when I heard your mother was out I went into the library to wait, thinking you would come there, but you did not, and I started to go to you when my feet were stopped, for you were talking of me, Wilford, not bad, perhaps, but as you would not have talked had you known that I was there where I heard the words which burned like coals of fire, so that I could have screamed in my distress."
Katy was not weeping now and her face was like that of some accusing angel as she continued: "I thought my heart was broken when I heard you talk so of me and Silverton, but that was nothing compared with what came next, when your mother spoke of Genevra. I thought it was my baby she meant at first, and the tightness around my heart was giving way, for if you did complain of me to your mother, I could forgive that because you were baby's father; but Genevra Lambert! oh, Wilford, I died a thousand deaths in one when I first heard of her and understood why you objected to the name our baby finally bore. You did not wish to be so constantly reminded of the other wife. I could not sit there longer, the room around me grew so black, so I struggled to my feet and reached the door, going into the street and thinking once I would end my wretched life in the distant river; but something turned my steps toward home and I came, thinking it all over and suffering such agony. Oh, Wilford, why did you keep it from me? What was there about it wrong and where is she buried?"
"In Alnwick, at St. Mary's," Wilford answered, determining now to hold nothing back, and by his abruptness wounding Katy afresh.
"In Alnwick, at St. Mary's" Katy cried. "Then I have seen her grave, and that is why you were so anxious to get there, so unwilling to go away. Oh, if I were lying there instead of Genevra, it would be so much better, so much better."
There was sobbing now, in a moaning, plaintive way which touched Wilford tenderly, and smoothing her tangled hair, he said: "I would not exchange my Katy for all the Genevras in the world. She was never as dear to me as you. I was but a boy, and did not know my mind when I met her. Shall I tell you about her now? Can you bear to hear the story of Genevra?"
There was a nod of assent, and Katy turned her face to the wall, clasping her hands tightly together, while Wilford drew his chair to her side and began to read the page he should have read to her long before.