SCENE IV
Interior of Santa Claus’ Home.
Music: “Santa Claus Is Coming.”
Discovered: Billy Bundy, Flossie Fixit and Gossip.
Billy Bundy [looking through the spy glass]. Oh, they are having such a lovely time as they enter the different houses and distribute the gifts! The old lady makes a real good Mrs. Santa Claus.
Flossie Fixit [looking through]. They have used up all the gifts now and are coming home for more.
Gossip [taking the glass and looking through]. Oh, he has kissed her! Isn’t that dreadful? But I guess the little Fairy Queen won’t care, now that the Prince has come back.
Billy Bundy [taking the glass]. Let me see. I don’t believe he kissed her at all. He wouldn’t do such a thing. It is very wrong to think bad things about people which never happen. [Flossie and Gossip laugh.]
Billy Bundy. Hush, they have reached home.
Santa Claus [enters, with the Old Lady]. Where is the Fairy Queen?
Gossip. The Fairy Prince has returned, and the Queen has gone off with him.
Old Lady. It’s too bad. Do you intend to get a divorce?
Santa Claus. I would like to, but I am too tender-hearted. I must protect the Queen from the scandal-mongers.
Flossie Fixit [looking through window]. Oh, the Queen and the Prince are coming!
Old Lady [looking through window]. There is my long lost son.
Santa Claus. Let’s hide, just for fun.
Santa Claus and the Old Lady exit behind curtain. Queen and Prince enter.
Queen. I would get a divorce, but I just can’t think of breaking dear old Santa’s heart. He is such a darling!
Santa Claus enters at door, pretends to look very severe, but there is a twinkle in his eye.
Prince [falling on his knees]. Oh, forgive me for being here. I have done the little Queen no harm.
Thomas Page [in triumphant spirit, enters, blowing a horn]. The Supreme Court has ordered me to pronounce the Queen’s marriage null and void, because any marriage is illegal which takes place between a human being and a fairy. In the court’s judgment Santa Claus is human.
[Billy Bundy steps up to the Prince.]
Prince. Here is the minister ready to marry us.
Queen. I believe I ought to transform Santa into a fairy and marry him over again. [Prince shows great disappointment.]
Santa Claus. Cheer up, Prince. I don’t want to be transformed into a fairy. I would rather be human. I am going to give you to each other as my Christmas gift to you.
[Queen, kneeling, kisses Santa’s hand gratefully. Santa Claus lifts her to her feet, and places her hand in the hand of the Prince, then brings into the room the Old Lady, who is immediately clasped in the arms of her son, the Prince.]
Prince. Oh, mother, it seems so good to see you!
Old Lady. My long lost son!
Santa Claus. The Prince’s mother is going to be Mrs. Santa Claus.
All the Little Fairies [including those supposedly burned up in the fire entering, clap their hands]. Let’s have a double wedding!
Music: “Santa Lucia.”
[Gossip and Flossie Fixit put wedding veils on the Old Lady and the Queen. Queen and Prince stand to the left facing Billy Bundy. Santa and Old Lady stand to the right facing Billy Bundy.]
Billy Bundy [solemnly, open Bible in hand]. I pronounce you husband and wife.
Curtain opens, showing handsome Christmas tree. Santa Claus discovers an enormous stocking marked: “For Santa Claus,” and a big book from which he reads: “How Young Husbands Can Make Their Wives Happy.” He bows his thanks, grinning broadly, examines other gifts on the tree and distributes them. The Fairies are delighted with their gifts.
Billy Bundy. Oh, we shouldn’t keep Santa Claus here to distribute our gifts. Half the little children in the world are waiting for him.
The reindeer drives up to the door.
Mr. and Mrs. Santa [hurriedly enter the sleigh and drive off, waving gayly and shouting]. Good-bye!
[Fairy Queen and Prince wave in reply, raising their wands.]
Fairy Queen. We will destroy the illusion of time so the little children won’t know it is so late.
Santa Claus [calling back]. Even so, I am afraid some of them will have to have their gifts on Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve.
Mrs. Santa Claus [calling back]. We will bring some of the little children back with us.
Music: “The Christmas Tree.”
All the Fairies, Prince and Queen leading, dance around the Christmas tree, singing.
Mr. and Mrs. Santa enter, with a crowd of children from the audience. They are very cordial and jovial as they distribute gifts to youngsters.
All the Little Fairies [help distribute gifts, shouting]. Merry Christmas!
Fairy Queen and Prince shake hands with everybody. They are gracious and delightful.
CURTAIN